the best beliefs ever
When I was young, my mom was an accountant. Every quarter she'd stay at work until very late to "look for money that went missing in the books" I had always pictured my mom running around a library shaking out the pages in actual books, so the missing money would fall out.
I used to believe that it was safe to be in the basement during tornadoes because tornadoes didn't have legs to walk down the stairs.
When I was little, I believed my dad could stop the rain at any second while driving down the freeway. What I didn't notice was that he would shout "stop!" every time we would drive under an overpass. I finally figured it out around 7 or 8. :)
When I was little, a slew of "don't drink and drive" campaigns began playing more and more often on the radio and television. I didn't take long before I was interrogating my father, caught red-handed, sipping from his can of pepsi while taking me with him to the grocery store. - seems they left a pretty important detail out of the slogan.
Up until I was about 9 I believed that my dad bent bananas for a living because that's what he told me! He actually worked in a fruit and veg warehouse and his company logo was a banana! Lol
I used to think that when people talked about the stock market crashing, they said sock market, and that everyone had to wear old socks with holes in them because they couldn't buy new ones.
I used to think that people were either born adults or kids and you were paired up with and adult who takes care of you.
When I was little my Dad told me Japanese people work hard and eat raw fish called sushi. I imagined a man pulling a wriggling fish out of the ocean and biting right into it. I thought the Japanese must work so hard they have no time to cook the fish!
When I was little my big sister told me to say hi and be nice to the mannequins at the mall because they were people too!
When I had chicken pox my older brothers told me that I was getting them because of two guys inside me with hammers that were punching them out of my skin, and the only way to get rid of them was to let them punch me in the stomach...totally bought it.
I used to believe that every day tiny little people, with tiny suits and breifcases and costumes, came to my house to work in the TV.
When I was 7 had my 5 year old brother convinced that my mom's perfume and makeup would keep the bugs away. I put it on him before we went outside for about a week before someone told my mom.
When I was four, my dad's best friend told me that the black olives on his pizza were cockroaches (to keep me from eating his pizza - how much pizza could a four year old eat?). To this day, I can't eat black olives.
I used to believe that when you circled a letter on a multiple choice the letters couldn't Breathe. I never completely circled them.
My brother and I thought that you burped before you died, so whenever we played dead we'd let out a huge belch and drop to the ground.
cantaloups are baby antelopes
I used to believe that a strip club meant that you took your own clothing off
I used to believe that frost bite was when arctic wolves came out in cold weather to bite off your fingers and toes.
That box office numbers were not about money. If I heard, "The new Star Wars grossed over 10 million this weekend." I thought that 10 million people were grossed out when they saw it.
Once, when I was 5, my brother and I were swimming in our pool. My fingers were starting to get wrinkly and I showed him. He told me that meant I was turning into an old lady. I cried.