sex

I used to believe…

One night when I was little I heard my parents making weird moaning noises since I couldn't sleep. I was convinced they were being attacked by a spider, for whatever reason.

Now I know good and well...

I used to believe that my penis would grow so large that it would suck all the blood and life forces from my body!... It became a reality when I grew up and became an Alpha male.....

I thought that pads were pampers for woman who can't control their pee, once my elder sis was teasing me with her male and female friends at home so I angrily went to her cabinet and took a pad which I thought was pamper and went to my sis and infront of her friend I was like hey look Stacie still wears pampers.....

I used to believe…

When I was younger I thought you had your period one month and didn't have another until the next year the same month.I also believed that when you were on your period you wore a diaper.

I used to believe…

When I was in fourth grade, the fifth graders were all hyped from the big HEALTH CLASS. I had some friends, and I asked what was so funny. They said they were learning about periods. I thought of the punctuation. I guessed it was slang for some really horrible sex term, and was all, "okay"... Asked my mom when I got home, and I was absolutely horrified. And the fourth grade accidentally got the sex ed permission slips for the fifth grade. We were all like GOD HELP US TAMPONS BE THE WORST THING EVER!

I used to believe…

my 4 year old brother once saw my 5 year old sister peeing and, since he didn't know that girls did not have a penis, asked his mom "why is she peeing from her butt?"

I used to believe…

When I was very young (back in the Late Stone Age) I thoght that women got pregmamt by kissing. Well, TV was a lot less realistic then, and that was the only intimate contact I'd ever seen.

I was about 8 when i asked my grandmother how babies were born and she said, "Well, they come out of your moms stomach." Then the next day i went to my other grandma's house with my cousin who new how babies were born. When i asked her why she is so short and she said, "I came out on a emergency threw my moms stomach." I was shocked.

I used to believe…

When I was very little I overheard my older sister saying that she started her period. When I asked her about it she said that once a month older girls bled from their special place. Soon after that I saw a tampon commercial showing girls doing stereotypical girly things including painting their toenails. I heard them talk about periods and I saw the girls wearing those pedicure toe-separator things and, up until I had health class in 5th grade, I believed that girls on their period bled between their toes every month. From that moment on, I have always hated feet.

I used to believe…

When my little sister and I were really young (maybe ages 6 and 4) our mom was changing the sheets on our parents' bed for laundry day and we saw a dark stain on the mattress. When we asked what it was, mom tried to skirt around explaining periods by saying, "well sometimes when you're asleep you can't control when you have a bad surprise." For probably ten years(!) we thought Mom had had diarrhea in her sleep... yes, even after we learned what periods were, we didn't make the connection!

I used to believe moms got pregnant via aliens, or angels in UFOs (I also used to have a theory that angels were aliens and Heaven was a planet.) and at night they'd abduct moms and God put the baby's souls into their tummies. I was a weird kid.

I used to believe…

It's not my belief, but once I made another kid believe he was a ghost.
My Mom taught me about sex, and I asked him if his parents ever had sex. He said no, and I told him he couldn't exist then, so he must be a ghost.
I was a deep kid :p

I was born by emergency c-section. When I asked my parents how I was born, they said I was cut out of my mum's stomach. They never mentioned it was an emergency so I just thought everyone was born with the doctor cutting a square in your mum's stomach and, grabbing you out and then sowing her back up.

I had the mechanics of childbirth figured out pretty early, but then a family friend had a "breech" baby. My mom explained that meant it came out backwards. I spent a long time thinking normal babies came out the front and breech babies came out the back.

I used to believe that people got pregnant from kissing. The TV shows I watched would always pan away once the characters started kissing and I guess I always assumed that that was because the scene was over.

I used to think that in order to have sex, you had to pee or poop in a cup at the same time as another person, trade the cups, and then quickly consume the contents. This was only after I was told that kissing isn't sex (I was 4 and thought I was pregnant because a little boy forced a kiss on me), and I was taking a stab in the dark as to what sex actually was. I even took a Tupperware container to the bathroom once to see if I was "any good" at sex, which of course was decided based on how well you can pee in a cup.

I used to believe…

When I was 5 or 6 years old, I believed all babies were conceived via immaculate conception. It worked like this: a married couple had to say their vows and then pray real hard that God would bless them with a baby.

I told my mom I wanted another baby sister, so she and dad should pray every day for one. She said no. I decided maybe I could have the baby if God blessed me, so I prayed fervently for a week t. I didn't work.