sex

I used to believe…

When I was little, I misunderstood the word 'testicles' for 'tonsils'. So, ever since my sex ed class in grade four, I would stare in shock at anybody that claimed that they had their tonsils removed.

i thought that on boobs the nipples would shoot lasers and touch the guys wieners and make them big

I used to believe…

when I was younger I thought pads were used to catch those little drops of pee that got in your pants if you didn't get there quite in time. Later I found out it was to keep blood off you pants, and not pee, I was like "oh so it's for catching blood when you get a shaving nick down there, not for pee, that explains it!" Then a few years later I realised it was the whole menstrual system and thought my solution was so much more practical than that.

I used to believe…

When I was little I heard someone talking about having a vasectomy and my mom explained that it was so a man couldn't father children any more. She didn't explain how it's done, so I thouht it meant that they cut the guy's penis off.

I used to believe…

When I was about 8 or 9 (and knew about sex but didn't understand it very well), my friends and I were watching TV with no adults around and there was a scene where a man threw a woman on the floor and tore her blouse open. The scene cut away to another one that showed her naked and crying. One of my friends said "that's rape." So for a while after that, I believed that "rape" was when a man tore off a woman's clothes in order to steal them! I thought the woman was crying because the man stole her favorite outfit.

I used to believe…

when i was younger, i had this body book that explained lots of things, but i only looked at the pictures cuz i never felt like reading it. there was this one part about having babies and it had a drawn picture of a woman having a baby and it looked like the baby was coming out of a slit in her inner thigh. for the longest time, i thought this was how a baby was born until 5th grade when we had sex-ed and i found out that that is not in fact how a baby is born. needless to say, i was a little emberessed...

I used to believe that getting pregnant was like inflating a beachball. The Husband inserts his member into the Wife, and while pumps, pumps, and pumps some more, her belly slowly rises. This continues for as long as necessary. They might pause for a break, with them rubbing the belly going, "You reckon that's big enough?". The Wife then carries around a full-size belly for 9 months, to give the baby enough room and time to develop.

I used to believe that if someone of the opposite sex saw your private parts, you would have to marry them. I made my parents install a lock on the bathroom door so my brother's friends wouldn't accidentally walk in while I was sitting on the toilet, because (I remember thinking of it this way) I wanted to keep my options open.

I used to think that you had to be married to get pregnant, and thought some strange "pregnant ray" came down from the wedding ring and put a baby in the mother's stomach.
lol

I was adopted, and always knew that meant I was "chosen" by my parents. Whenever we went to the grocery store, I would put a banana sticker on my forhead and ask "is this how much I cost" It eventually came to me having several stickers on my head at each visit.

I used to believe that a blow job was where the lady at the hair salon would get horny and start blowing on a mans penis. i thought that oral sex was when a girl made out with a mans penis, and that 'humping' was when a man put his penis (humped) a girls boobs. this made since because the boobs were humps and the penis was a hump...?

i seriously used to think babies came from cabbage patches, thanks to the stupid doll.

I used to believe…

Last Sunday my dad made us rake the backyard, and it took hours. It was me, my brother, and my sister, and when we're with eachother for too long, we start to annoy eachother. I kept immitating Michael Jackson to my brother (who's name is also Michael, haha) and he got really mad at me. I asked him if he wanted to smack me, and he said "YES" and I told him smack that means sex, because of the song "Smack That" by Akon. I gave him the song to listen to, and now he's just too grossed out to hit me, because he thinks if he smacks me, he's having sex with whatever part of me he hits.

I used to believe…

when I was younger, I thought that the Q-tips and cotton balls that my mom would use were for use during her periods, because sometimes they had red and brown stuff left over on them. Finally, after actually seeing my mom use them to put on makeup, I realized that they were actually for putting makeup on.

I used to think that babies came from a baby store and that when my mother had to go the hospital when she had my little brother I thought that she and my dad were going to the baby store to pick one out. I believed this until about age 4.

I used to believe…

When I was in third grade, for some reason most of my classmates still only knew the story of the stork or a very clean "birds and the bee's" so one day during class we were talking about birthdays and one of the girls in my class said "My birthday is on (some day) and thats the day the stork brought me home." And so being the enlightened child i was I raised my hand and was called on and said "No that's a lie, your parents had sex and thats how you were made" My parents got many a phone call from parents upset that their 3rd graders were coming home asking about sex.