sex

I used to believe…

When i was about in third grade i used to think that when a baby was born it just popped out of the mother's belly button..... 0.0

I used to believe…

when i was a pre-teen i knew a lot of things about sex...well, almost...i knew that you can get pregnant if the male doesnt have a condom on. and thats when i remembered masturbation. I thought that if you masturbate, and dont put a condom on yourself...you still can get pregnant through your finger.

I used to believe…

babys came out of belly buttons

I know somebody who didn't know what testicles were until she was in the 7th grade

I used to believe…

when my mum was pregnant with my little sister i asked my dad "how do you get pregnant" he replied you take a pill a pink one for a girl and a blue one for a boy!!!................

I wish it was as simple as that!!

I thought that since every one called thier privates different names, they must look different.i got this logic b/c if i walked up to a total strager, pionted at my hand and said"wazzat" they'd say hand cuz' hands looked the same. i also believed that if they didn't answer when i asked what they call their privates, that they didn't have any, couldnt wee-wee, and therefore, were smart,yet dumb, robots.
Smart,huh?

I used to believe…

Growing up in the jump and praise the lord... stomp your feet, get filled with the holy ghost church life, we always had the classic pipe organ looming above us from the pews while the preacher droned on about who knows what and some blind man resembling Stevie Wonder pounded away on the damn thing.

We felt so proud to have one because not every church in our slum-like nieghborhood could even dream to afford an organ.

To beat the boredom. Me and a bunch of other "sinners" lol, would talk about sex. (Or what we thought was sex.) i know we must've sounded like a bunch of Booboo the Fools, who didn't know what the heck what we were takling about but we wanted to sound "manly" or "womanly"

One day some lug nut proudly boasted that they had an "orgasm" in the bathroom. Being the sheltered kid that i was, and lacking the street smarts my other friends so graciaously possessed, I took one look at the pipe organ and assumed "orgasm" was just another "fancy hip" word for a pipe organ. Hence the two sounded so much the same (Gee, im smart.)

Anyways this theory stayed with me... until Christmas time that is. Being the musical person I am, I wouldn't think it would be a bad idea if i could own a pipe "orgasm" of my very own. Imagine the pastor's surprise and my mother's face when I came out and said that I wanted to get an "orgasm" for Christmas. Of course i used "orgasm" to show of my profound knowledge.(Like I said before, i was smart.)

The pastor's eyes just about fell on the floor, my mother hit me with her purse... and my fellow "friends" laughed their asses off when word of my orgasm wish hit the streets of my small neighborhood. Lets just say going back to school was tough.

Yeah... I can still hear them laughing and every time I come down to visit someone always says "Hey Richie... you still want that orgasm?"

I used to believe…

If you masturbate, you can get pregnant.

I used to believe…

when i was 5 i once asked my mom about sex, so she told me that sex "was when the daddy gives the mommy a seed and she eats it, so therefere, she becomes pregnant"..i always though that a man would pee out a see and a woman would just eat it, they wouldnt even have to get naked for this ceremony..i also thought that when people wanted to have sex, just for fun, they would get on a bed [fully dressed], the woman would get on top of a man, and just bounce on his stomach..i even tried it with my guy friend when i was six [my grandma walked in on us!]..haha its hillarious looking back on it now

I used to believe…

starting from when i was 6 till when i was about 14 i always thought that masterbation was a sin and that i would go to hell if i ever touched myself..i knew that it felt good but i was scared just because i thought that i was the only one doing it and i was dirty..boy, was i wrong

i used to believe that "lesbian" was a religion. i guess because it sounds like it would be a religious name... i found out when i was 8 what it really meant, which of course led to more questions....

I used to believe…

When i was little i wanted to watch Snow White, so i got the video and put it on. It wasent Snow White though. It was porn, but i didnt know it. I watched about 10 minutes of it, i'd got bored. I saw women licking what looked like ice cream cones with no ice cream in, so i got my mum. For then on i thought sex was painful for girls having to stick a pointy ice cream cone up your bum!

I used to believe…

When I was about eleven or twelve and heard the teenage girl on the bus talk about "getting her cherry popped" I thought she was talking bout some guy popping off her nipples. I figured out a few years later that it meant losing her virginity.

I used to believe…

When , as a boy, I first started to hear about the strange phenomena of "periods" I assumed that women all had their monthly cycle on exactly the same day. Yes, all 3 billion...

I used to believe…

When i was 8 my older cousin was on her period and she told me not to bug her because her "little fairy of the month" was here, i found out that she ment her period and pu together the information i already knew about periods and came to the conclution that a little fairy came in the middle of the night and flew up the girls vagina, then went into the womb and set up a little living area in there with a tv and a couch and everything and every few hours flicked her magic wand and the stuff would come out.....yeeeaaa, i was wrong

I used to believe…

My mom always told us that gypsies delivered me, my brother ws found in the garbage can, and my sister was brought up by wolves and they found her i nthe back yard... she didn't want to have th "sex" talk, so for years, we went around telling people our crazy stories, then my mom finally sat us down and gave us the "talk" man was it awkward, i think she was shaking more then us....