sex

I used to believe…

When I was in elementary school, I heard my mom comment on some very skinny aerobics instructor on TV, "I bet she's never had kids." I was baffled because it had never occured to me that you could NOT have kids! I believed that pregnancy was automatic, so that when a woman reached a sufficient age, a baby just started growing inside her all by itself. Then she'd have to find someone who would agree to be the baby's father and help her take care of it, if she didn't already have a husband or boyfriend handy. Yeah, I was a pretty mixed up kid, but it made perfect sense to me!

I have a sister 3 years older than me. As a small child my parents stopped me from 'playing with myself' by telling me that "If you do that too much it will drop off. Look what happened to your sister!", for years I thought that all girls were ex boys that couldn't stop themselves.

I used to believe…

When I was about 11, I figured out all on my own that my uncle was gay. His friend had been living with him for many years, and they both wore matching rings on their wedding fingers.

So then I thought, "How do gay men have sex?" but I never asked anybody, knowing that this was a dirty thought.

So, I used to believe that gay men would lay in bed facing each other, their erections kind of bopping against each other's as they were laying there, giggling.

Seriously, I was convinced of that until I was about 13.
Even then I don't know how I found out the truth.

I used to believe…

until i turned 12, i thought girls only had two holes, one for peeing and one for pooping. I knew that the girls private part was called a vagina and I thought thats where pee came out.

I used to believe…

When I was little and my mum explained to me that a period was when the egg in a woman's body doesnt turn into baby, it comes out and a whole load of blood does too. I thought it was horrible that every month unborn babies were being flushed down our toilet, and I couldnt believe how cruel my mother was being!

I used to believe…

When I was a kid I used to enjoy playing at our back yard one day i found a used condom and I thought it was a balloon so I blew it (yuck) and proudly showing it to my friends my mom saw me playing at it and got mad at me and angrily took the condom from me..I was so confused and was crying she said it was a very bad balloon that if I kept playing at it I will be funished. One day I saw a lot of wrapped unused condoms in my uncle's house that used to work with the Population control office and told him I saw some bad balloons and that he'll be funished if he didn't threw them away. I have never known what are condoms for until when I became adult.

I used to believe…

When I was young I used to believe that women only got their periods during their teen years - so from 12 to about 19 years old. I was really disapointed when I learned the truth!

I used to believe…

When I was younger I saw the movie Naked Gun and there is a part when the couple in the movie wear full body condoms and roll around in bad (obviously it was a joke part of the movie)... I forever thought that that is how condoms work... boy was I wrong!!!

I used to believe…

This is actually my mom's story but... when she and her sister were little, they were in the restroom and saw one of the tampon/pad dispensers. They went on for about ten minutes on how they thought sanitary napkins were for people who were too uptight to use the normal paper towels for there hands and they needed individually wrapped napkins. lol

I used to believe…

My daughter Chelsie and I were taking a shower when she was 4, she asked me what that was and I said " The dead tree branch!" Then she asked me what momma had and I told her which led to this 3 years later. As we were watching a TV show on the female anatomy they were showing each part of the womens reproductions organs, she would ask "whats that?" I would say "filopian tubes" Chelsie "whats that?" Pat "eggs" etc. etc. etc. then it got to the extremities of the womes body and Chelsie asked "Whats that?" again I said this was the "womens vagina" she was quiet for a second then turned to me and yelled "nut-uh, dad you told me that was thg big black hole!" Needless to say my wife was pissed. Who'd think she woulda remembered something 3 years later.

I used to believe…

My sister used to tell me that virgins were people who haven't been kissed, and my uncle told me that a pervert is someone who farts in the bathtub and bites the fart bubbles.

In pre-school I had a girl friend who I used to take baths with when my mom had to babysit her. Of course we would do 'naughty' things and I always just thought she had a really really small 'pee pee'.

I used to believe…

My guy friend and I were hanging out one day at the school playground afterhours while our parents were in a PTA meeting. We wanted to be rebelious, and so we went against the school rule listed on the gate: "every one must wear shoes, no opened-toed shoes or sandles permitted", so we took off our sneakers and socks and showed each other our bare feet. We were convinced that this was sex. Why else would there be a school rule against it?

I once found a condom wrapper in my parents room called "Magic in the moonlight" and I thought it was a magic trick. I begged my mom to show me how to do the magic trick, but she wouldn't. It wasn't until about 10 years later I was looking back on it and realized it was a condom.

I used to believe…

Hot summer night. Hubby and I are going at it loudly. All of a sudden our 4-year-old is standing at the foot of the bed shouting "What's this, a party? I can't sleep with all this noise".

We sent him back to bed, but we weren't done yet. When the bed squeaking resumed, we heard him shout down the hall "Mom, stop it". I said to hubby "Why is this my fault?" Hubby said "Because you are on top. Maybe he thinks you are beating up daddy."

I used to believe…

When I was in high school, this saying was going around:

Life is like a prick
when it is soft you can't beat it
when it is hard you get screwed.

I didn't get it. I had only seen my boyfriend's penis when it was hard (erect) right before we had sex. I didn't know what soft was, or that beat meant masturbate.

I never let on though, I was too embarassed.

I used to believe that when a man and a woman get marry, then God gives them a beautiful gift that is nothing but a child. I really used to believe like this until my friend said 'without sex, no child'. I love if my believe comes true in the next Universe, just married and a beatiful gift from God is received.