sex

I used to believe…

When I was younger, I got the whole facts of life talk off of my mother along with a side lecture on PMS. I didn't quite understand what she meant and was completely convinced that whenever my mum was annoyed with me or my brother, it was the "time of the month."

I distinctively remember a time when my mum told me off in front of a group of family friends and I turned round and announced in front of all of them, "It's ok, it's just the time of the month." Oops.

I used to believe…

When I was younger, I heard the term "blow job" and believed it was when someone put their mouth on the end of the penis, and blew as hard as they could, as if blowing up a balloon.

I used to believe…

When I was young, around 7, my Dad warned me that if I played with my penis it would eventually turn black and fall off. Well, he was a recently-retired nurse, and I had absolutely no reason to disbeleive him - he'd given me tons of information on the human body already. Of course this was completely and totally untrue. However, I beleived it for a long time, and didn't really discover masturbation until I was thirteen, after I managed to convince myself that it was a lie. Actually, in his mind, he wasn't lying to me - I asked my Dad about it and he said he really beleived it, as a kid and still today.

He's 70 years old. For his entire life, ALL SEVENTY YEARS OF IT, he truly and totally beleived that masturbation would cause penises to turn black and fall off. He's probably never masturbated in his life.

The thing is, though, it was probably because he was raised in a family that were very likely prudes. I guess we can't really blame him. Still funny, though!

I used to believe…

When I got my period for the first time, I went to school,proud of becoming a woman, and told my best friend all about it. she simply said "you better be careful you can get pregnant now" I was so nieve... I was scared that I would just get pregnant at any moment. i believed that until i found out about sex.

I used to believe…

Until i was in a bodycare shop with my best m8, i used to think that women had periods until they died! My mate was like..
' dya think she's buyin those tampons for her daughter?' n i was like..
'erm... no y? Y rnt they for her?'
Then we had a proper argument over who was right. i was well convinced that it was me... unil i found out about menopause..teehee

I used to believe…

When I was a little girl I read a poem that talked about a woman and her 'baubles'. I didn't know what baubles were so I assumed they were her breasts. Even now that I am grown and know the truth, I still affectionately think of them as my baubles.

I thought that when a girl became a teenager, she would start having periods to prepare to have children, and after she had around ten periods, they would stop and then she'd be able to get pregnant, and would never have another period again. When my mom told me that women usually have periods for several years, I was horrified.

I thought getting pregnant was completely random, and that the couple had no control in it whatsoever. So whenever I'd hear something about a couple trying to get pregnant, I'd think that they were stupid because it couldn't be done, and that I was a lot smarter than they were for realizing it.

I used to believe that pinocchio lived inside people and that boys were liars because pinocchio's nose would grow so long that it would hang outside their bodies. (Now I know what a penis is) I thought girls always told the truth because they didn't have a long nose thingy, 'penis'. How wrong was I!

I used to think that movie stars didn't have penises and vaginas because they were too rich, beautiful, and too good to have something that looked so weird. Especially when it does gross stuff like weeing, ejaculating, having sex, and growing black hair.....

I used to believe…

when I was like 10 my friend told me that she had this special lotion that if you used it you would get pregnant. Well I wanted a baby (not knowing what that involved) amd went home and used her lotion. Needless to say, I didn't get pregnant.

I had a friend explain to me in the first grade that when a mom gives birth it is actually a surgery that removes the baby from the mommy by cutting off the mommy's head and pulling the baby out of her neck. And then her head is glued back together. Did I mention my friend is an only child?

I used to believe that if a guy decided that he wanted you pregnant then he would shove his finger in your mouth and that you would get pregnant....Don't ask me where that came from...I also thought that if a guy touched your breasts you would get pregnant then too....

I used to believe…

When I was little, I knew nothing of pubic hair. Then one day I was in the public showers at a water-park and there was an older guy who had a massive bush. His forest was so terribly overgrown, all you could see was the tip of his penis sticking out of the giant ball of fur. I thought he was some kind of freak and I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

This trauma must've stuck in the back of my subconciousness through the years, because as an adult I take the necessary precautions to avoid such a fate.

I used to believe…

When I was six or seven I used to think that babies came from two people exchanging saliva. The more saliva you exchanged with someone the more chances of you having their child, if you were a woman that is.

I used to believe…

When i was about 4 i went to the park and this girl was dancing about. she came up to me and said if you dont eat peas your winky wont grow. I was confused i thought a winky was something you done with your eyes