sex

I used to believe…

When I was younger, I used to think that when I masturbated that I was actually "having sex with myself". Since I am a Christian, I thought that having sex before marriage, even with myself, was sinning.
I worried for ages, and even debated telling my parents that I wasn't a virgin anymore. I worried terribly that my future husband would disown me when he found out that I wasn't a virgin.
Finally, when I was about 14, I discreetly asked my mother what she thought about it (through the old "my friend has this problem.." line, I'm sure she saw right through it, but it was way less embarrassing) and she told me to "tell my friend" it was totally natural and nothing to be ashamed of, and that "she" was definitely still a virgin.
I can't tell you what a relief that was.

I used to think that if someone was close to giving birth, it is very dangerous to go to the toilet because you never know when you will poop the baby out together with the poop into to bowl.

I always thought babies came out with poop...therefore the pregnant mothers would sit on the toilet bowl with a net so that it could catch the baby with all the poop! eew?

I used to believe…

when i was about 4 or 5 i found a "sex toy" in my moms room, i asked my brother what it was and he said it was a guy's penis and so i went out and asked my mom what it was, and all she said was put it back where u found it. so i did so i went on thinking it was her boy friend's penis and they cut it off and she kept it.
It wasnt until last year i remembered doing it and i dawned on me what it was....9 years later, i almost started screaming and i ran to the bathroom and wash my hand uncontrolably

also i found a box of douches in my mom's bathroom not too long ago. knowing what it was i almost started crying....a sat on the floor rocking back and forth.

I used to believe…

When I was about 6 ,I saw my dad in the bathroom standing over the toilet taking a condom off of his Penis and throwing it in the trash can.I thought it was something he put on to pee in so he didn't have to get up at night.When I went in the bathroom and took it out of the trash,I couldn't understand why daddy's pee was thick and sticky.

I used to believe…

while grocery shopping with my mother for an upcomming party, i told her, "we need to get some sanitary napkins in case there is some type of spill". althought i was way too old, i had no idea that "pads" and "sanitary napkins" were the same thing

I used to believe…

One time when i was about 4 or 5, i went to get the hole puncher, which was under my parents bed (don't ask, because i don't know why). While i was looking for it i found a wooden box and opened it thinking it might be in there. What i did find though was my dad's porno mags. Then i got all upset because, for whatever odd reason i believed this, i thought my dad was going to divorse my mom and the magasine was to find a new wife. I know, weird right? But then a few years later, at about age 12, my neighbor told me about masturbation, and a friend told me that every guy over the age 18 has porno somewhere in their house. So when i was thinking of where my dad's might be, I remembered that time when i was like 4. Sure enough it was there. You can only imagine how many times i used them after that. But to make things even funnier, a few months after i started to masturbate, the rumor started about how if you masturbate you'll go blind. I swear, a few times i thought my eyes were getting blurry, and after that i didn't masturbate again until 3 months later when my older neighbor reassured me i wouldn't go blind.

I used to think that, depending on which trimester, or which stage of pregnancy you gave birth in, you gave birth to animals, and that that's where animals came from. (It went mice, cats, dogs, humans. I had no idea about elephants and stuff like that.

I used to think that having sex once could lead to pregnancies for the rest of your life. I figured that that's why married couples had honeymoons, so they could start making babies right away.

I believed up until about 10th grade that if you had sex while you were pregnant, you would have another baby! I always wondered how there could be enough room in the uterus!

I used to believe…

When I was three my brother was born. Having been the only child till then I decided I didn't like him so I asked my mom if she could go back to the doctor so they could put him back in. I believed that there was a special door in all mommies tummies and the doctors had the key and when the mom wanted to have her child she'd go to the doctor and he'd open the door and take the baby out and that was that. My mom just laughed at me.

I believed (well into my 20s) that when a woman was pregnant/had babies their nipples would magically open up to reveal a small hole that the milk would come out of. It wasn't until I visited a friend of mine with a newborn that I was clued into the "nippples are like sponges" theory.

I used to believe…

wen i was 4, long before my parents explained the birds and the bees, i thought babiescame out through your mouth. i believed that from wen i was 4 till i about 6 and a half.

I used to believe…

When I was a clueless teenager, this other girl whom I perceived to be more worldly and knowledgeable about such matters, told me that semen was full of special proteins and minerals and if swallowed would endow me with porcelain smooth skin. I believed her because she really had good skin.

clarification : I wised up soon enough because I�m not *that* stupid.

I used to believe…

when i got my first period, i didn't want to tell anyone so i tried to figure out tampons by myself. I stuck the whole applicator up there without removing the plastic and walked around proudly for the rest of the day. It took me a whole period to figure out that tampons didn't work that way.

I used to believe that getting your period meant learning where to put a period in a sentence.So I was very little,and had just learned punctuation.My sister came to pick me up from school,and I said "I've got BIG news!"And she was like "what?" and I said I would tell her when we got home.My siter was having her first period then.That's where I got my strange idea from.

So you could just imagine the looks on your mom,aunt's,and dad's face when a 5 year old comes home from school,nose in the air,and proudly announces "I've got my period."We had tea guests also.And my mom pulled me to a corner,VERY embarassed,and said that I didn't,she would explain it all to me later.When I was older.

And Imagine the look on my face when I found out what it truly was.When I actually DID get it.At first,I thought I had a SERIOUS pooping problem and it would stop when I took a poopoo.I didn't tell my mom till 4 days later,when the "pooping" would not stopIt stopped the next day.