sex

I used to believe…

Me and my sister used to believe that to have a baby, you had to urinate in your partners bum. We also thought it could be male/male, female/female and male/female, and you could all still have a baby.

I used to believe sex was when two people laid next to each other in bed and kissed.

I belived that when you got married, the priest would give the bride a pregnancy-pill at the altar. Then an older boy in the neighbourhood told me what really happened, and I absolutely refused to belive that my parents had done such an awfull thing. When I understood that I had to accept the harsh realities, I was sure that at least they had done it in the bathroom, because of the organs involved..

I used to believe tampons were for people with bloody noses. thats what i thought a period was. because my mom has nosebleeds and i thought she stuck tampons up her nose when it happened. so i thought this happened to everyone, even guys because my grandpa (her dad) gets nose bleeds too.
once i walked in the bathroom and saw that my grandpa was having a nose bleed and was wiping his nose. I shouted "oh grandpa its ok that your on your period because my mom has tampons under the sink for your nose." lol i cant believe that. i was only about 3.

I used to believe…

This isn't about me, but it's funny... when my little cousin was about 3 years old, his older brother and sister accidentally said "hootchie mama" around him one to many times, and he started calling his OWN mother that because he was just learning to talk and he thought that's what you called your mom!(for those who don't know, a hootchie mama is a prostitute, or a ho).

I always thought that women just had babies. No men or sex involved, babies just came at random times. That explained why the neighbor woman had a kid, but no husband, and why people were suprised when babies came. Made sense to me!

I used to believe…

At the age of 9 or 10, I use to believe that you automatically became pregnant at the age of 21. I worried that I if I wasn't married by then, I would be embarassed being walked down the aisle by my father with my big belly. Little did I know!!!

I used to believe…

When my mother went into labour with my little brother I was three. She suddenly stood up one day and said, "I'm having contractions." She rushed into her room to get her bag. My dad didn't hear her and said, "What?" and I told him very urgently, "She's having conections!" My dad thought this was hilarious. He kept asking me what she was having. I got tired of telling him over and over but it didn't stop my dad from grabing the video camera and asking me agan what my mom was having. To this day we still have a video of a Three-year-old me saying angrily, "She is having a CONECTION!!!!"

I used to believe…

my aunt never got married or had kids and when i was about 5 i asked my dad why and he said because she never slept naked..from then on i thought that if i slept naked i would get pregnant

I used to believe…

Well i new what tampons were but like when ever i would hear my odler borther ask my mom for money for condoms i thought that they were like tampons for guys becasue i thought guys got there periods to.i thought that condoms were for guys like tampons. Well i didnt learn what they really werre until i found a boxof condoms and read the paper in there!!!

I used to believe…

when we were younger my lil cousin always would ask me and my other "girl" cousin were babies came from as we were 11 we new but she was only about 5 and really didnt no so we always would tell her you took a pill and it made you have a baby and up to the age were she really found out how to have a baby she used to always be liek i want a baby pill every were we went

I used to believe…

when i was little i whent to a shopping outlet i asked my mum how are babys born & she said they come out of cannons out of ships i belived her.

I used to believe…

wen i was young i be;ieved that when u gave birth the babis came out yor bum i only found out where they really ca me from in sex education in year 6

I used to believe…

My mother's solution to making me not have sex at a young age was to tell me reapeatedly while I was growing up how absolutely HORRIBLE sex was and that it was no fun at all and that I'd hate it and it was gross and that boys looked really weird without their clothes on. She did it very effectively, I was quite frightened.

I avoided the opposite sex for a very long time

I used to believe…

My mother has always been very vacant about sex, however one day - I think I was about 10 - we were cooking sausages in the kitchen and she unwraps a package of very small hotdogs (like cocktail weenie size) and goes "now honey, that's what guy's ..eh hem hem's look like." I didn't say it but I was petrified since they were so hideously small. I was dissappointed for quite a few years until I discovered otherwise and I remember thinking "oh thank god, I'm glad I got one that's bigger then a footy frank."

Now that I relive this story it makes me sickly puzzled about the relationship between my parents...

I used to believe…

When I was little I used to believe that the word 'beans' was just short for 'lesbians', and thus, lesbians were beans.

Being constantly eager to show off my large vocabulary, I told a woman at a coffee shop that my mother and I had eaten lesbians for dinner... I didn't understand why she quickly walked away...