sex

I was told that when you "do the deed" by yourself, you grow hairy palms. Funny thing is I was 17 when they told me, and I looked at my palms. Needless to say everyone got a good laugh at my expense.

I had a very sophisticated idea of how babies got here when I was 7.

Every baby starts as a vegetable. You can tell what veggie people's mommies' ate to get them by what they looked like. I had been a string bean and other people were peas and others yet carrots and celery, etc. This only happens when the mommy eats the vegetable and is in love with a daddy and they decide they want a baby.

And I proceded to tell everyone who'd listen and one evening took all my 16 year old sister's male friends one by one in private and told them exactly how they came to be. Needless to say, she was mortified. What veggie were YOU?

The ironic thing is I always hated vegetables. lol

I used to believe…

When i was yong, I asked my mom how did my father and her made me. She answered that my dad put his penis in her vagina. Three days later I woke my mom telling that I taught I got my teddy bear pregnant because I put my penis in her vagina.

I used to believe that women could only have babies once they were married because there was some biological connection between wearing a wedding ring and being able to get pregnant. Obviously I'd never heard of unwed mothers at that tender age...

I used to believe that the way adults "did it" was to lie in bed, sound asleep, separated by about 12 inches. While sleeping the man's tallywacker would point toward the womans privates and shoot her. Of course she was totally oblivious to this. I about had a heart attack when I saw my dog and a neighbors doing the wild thing. My mom had to sit me down and explain the birds and bees to me. It blew my mind away and totally grossed me out.

I used to believe…

When I was about 2 years old I saw my older brother naked briefly when my mom was putting him in the bath. I was convinced a penis wasn't attached to the body, but rather something boys had to hold between their legs. If they moved their legs apart, it would fall off. No idea how I came to this conclusion.

I used to believe…

My mom was babysitting my cousin who was the same age as me (2) and we were both being potty trained, well when it came his turn to "go" my eyes got so big and i screamed "TIMOTHY HAS A TAIL!" he looked down so seriously at himself then looked back at me like what are you talking about? My mom then try to explain it to me in the best way possible!!

I used to believe…

When I was just lerning about sex 13 14 the people at church whould say that having sex before marriage led to getting a.i.d.s. or h.i.v. when i was 19 the first time I had sex I thought I had a.i.d.s. that lasted for months sweating over it

I used to believe…

(at age 10)
I was at school eating lunch & I thought I had a tiny leak..Well, it turns out it was me starting my period.When I went to the bathroom w/my friend,Erica,and went into the stall and checked my pants it was all brown and I thought it was poo.I screamed for Erica,I opened the stall door and told her to get my math teacher ,Mrs.Lafavers.When she came , she talked to me cause I was crying and she got the nurse.The nurse came and wrapped a towel around me.I tried to call my Granny but she was at the doctor so my cousin brittney came and picked me up.She laughed with me,not at me,about it all the way to her house.I cant beleive I thought it was poo....

I used to believe…

When I was about 9 I thought I was pregnant because my stomach was a bit bigger and rounded. I was so scared and was thinking about how to tell my mom. After a bit of logical thinking I realized that I had to get my period before I could get pregnant. After even more logical thinking I realized I had to have sex too. Needless to say I was VERY relieved!

I used to believe…

my grandmother taught me what a vagina and a penis was when i was about 3 and i always thought a penis was a peanut and one day i asked if i could have a penis butter and jelly sandwich

I used to believe that when a girl sleeps besides a boy, she will get pregnant. When I was a child, I used to go out of my bed and snuggle beside my dad. Later on I was afraid to do so thinking I maght get pregnant as well.

I use to Believe that if you went bowling during your pregnancy you would give birth at the bowling alley. After all you are bending and throwing that heavy ball all at once. As soon as I got pregnant with my first child, I asked my Dr. Only to my enbasrment to be told NO!!!

I used to think that condoms were a type of bird because a condor is a type of bird and they sound similar.

I used to believe…

Sometime in elementary school, I had to go to the doctor for a physical. When I heard the doctor tell my mother "slight breast deformment" I was terrified. Turns out it was "slight breast development"!

I used to believe…

When my cousin and I were about 10 or 11 we thought that if you rub butter on your chest every day and don't wash it off, it would make your breast grow( we were anxious ). After about a week of horrible body odor and still no breast we were convinced that it was time dump the Parkay and head for the shower.