sex

i used to believe when i was little that the tampon dispensers in the bathrooms were mint/gum dispensers.. i was always mad that my mom wouldn't buy me a roll of mints!

I used to believe…

While shopping at a department store recently, my wife and I passed through the lingerie section. Noticing their display of training bras, my wife commented on how silly they are. I proceeded to explain to her how training bras are necessary to train the breasts to do their thing. Without the necessary training, they might grow up to be misshapened. My wife, splitting a gut, explained to 30-something me that breasts do their thing quite naturally. A training bra trains the girl (to wear a bra); it does not train the breasts!

I used to believe…

When I was pregnant with my second child, my first born was around three. I used to watch "A Baby Story" every day during that pregnancy. Well, after warching it one morning, my first born gladly informed me that when I went to have the baby, that the doctor had to cut off my leg to get the baby out. Apparently she thought this because during the birth part of the show, it does appear as if the baby is coming out of the mother's leg!

I used to believe…

for many years i didn't know that women had vaginas and so i thought all babies were born out of women's asses. i remember seeing pregnant women as a child and feeling sorry for the stress that they must have endured every time they took a crap because they never knew if they would have to fish their child out of the toilet bowl.

I used to believe…

When I was 3, I asked my pregnat Aunt if the doctor would cut off her head to let her baby out. Now that I'm almost 4, I know they cut her belly open instead.

I used to believe…

My grandmother used to believe that they way you got pregnanut was to swallow a watermellon seed. She was terified of eating watermellon for a long time after that.

I used to believe…

When I was younger, I used to believe that when a lady had twins or triplets or more, that they all came out at once....I never understood how they could all fit.

I used to believe…

When I was little, my brother told me that babies were made by a man peeing inside a woman, therefor, my skin was made from my father's pee. There was nothing more disgusting than thinking you were made of pee. It took me a long time to get over that one!

I used to believe…

When my youngest sister was born, my 3 year old sister and I were looking in the nursery before they brought out the new baby. She looked around and told my dad to go get mom so we could go home-she didn't see any babies in the nursery that she wanted. She thought that to have a baby, you just went to the hospital and picked one out!

I always wondered how it was decided if you would come out a boy or girl. When I was younger I believe that whichever parent wanted a kid more, than the baby would come out their sex. I'm a girl, so I obviously thought my mom wanted to have me more than my dad.

I used to think that when you where born that you where an "IT" because the parents cut the ambilical chord short for a girl long for a boy and thats why some people had sex changes because their mommy and daddy made the wrong choice.

I used to believe sperm were like fishies and people got pregnant because my parents tummies got jelly-like and they jumpred from my dads stomach to my moms stomach.

I believed that when girls got older they no longer had the time to go to the bathroom (I'm sure an assumption based on the tampon commercials with ladies proclaiming a need to accomodate their busy lifestyles). Tampons and pads were the evolution of the diapers.

I used to believe…

When I was a kid, around five or six, I found out that men and women somehow had sex and somehow it involved boy parts and girl parts. (I didn't know any specifics!) When I heard that the man puts his penis in the woman and fertilizes an egg, I thought for sure that my two testicles were two fully formed little human embryos just waiting to get squeezed into a woman and grow into kids.

This explained a lot of things for me, like why you didn't ever want to be kicked in the nuts. I thought it might even kill the little guys. I also thought that since I had two testicles, I could only have two kids. And men like my uncle, who had six kids, must have at some time had more.

Now that I'm a parent, I find it odd that I have two children, just like I always knew I would.

I used to believe…

we were sitting on the couch and my friends had bought a box of condoms as a joke so we opend one and my best friend opened one and blurted out "do they put there balls in here too"

I used to believe…

wen i was a kid i used 2 think that lesbians could have sex just by sticking one of there clits into da othas b4 i new what sex really wasand i thot that whichever 1 had da otha 1 inside would be da 1 w/ da baby

I used to think that when I guys got a erection or a boner the penis would actuclly get so big that the large bone inside would just pop right out and they would have to go 2 da bathroom to push it back in! i was only like 7 gimmie a break lol...

I used to believe…

When I was really little I used to believe that all babies were born on Labor Day and then were assigned an actual birthday....not only that but I also believed babies came out of the bellybutton