sex

I used to believe…

My mom told me that babies came from seeds so i thought that you went to a store and bought a package of baby seeds and then a woman swallowed one and became pregnant

I used to believe…

when my mate was in playschool they were asked to bring in somthing red and she found a red condom in her parent room and she took it in and told every 1 that it was a clowns bollon then the teacher took it off her

I used to believe that a boy can squirt milk from his penis. I lived on a farm and it looked like my older brother was milking a cow when he stroked his penis. I was shocked when I saw what appeared to be milk actually squirt out.

I used to believe…

once i was watching to young kids. we had been outside catching ladybugs, and had a huge jar full of them. one of the kids started screaming. when i asked her what was wrong, she told me that there were two ladybugs that were fighting. she showed me the mating ladybugs and said "look they're tackling eachother".

I used to believe…

a few months ago i was babysitting a young girl. i had set my purse down and had gone off to make the dinner for a moment. when i came back she asked me "what are these?" and had taken out my sanitary napkins and was examining them closely. i didn't know what to do, and i didn't think it was right for me to give her the birds-and-bees talk without her parents consent, so i told her they were surprises. she took this to mean that they were wrapped gifts. after all, they were wrapped in pink paper! i have never seen a kid so dissappointed when i told her she couldn't open them.

I used to believe…

when i was little, i used to beleive that once you got married, you go pregnant and had a baby. once when i was about 4, i was pretending that i was a bride. i was holding flowers and walking slowly like i'd seen people do. then i realized that since i was now "married" i was going to have a baby. i was very frightened and i ran to my mom crying "i don't want to have a baby!"
she still has no idea what i was talking about.

I used to believe…

When I was younger, I would see commercials for pads on TV. The women in them would always be running on the beach, or standing on the edge of a cliff with her arms wide open breathing the fresh air, or something cheesy like that that usually involved the people with big grins on their face like they were having the best time.

Anyways, I always thought that they were diapers for kids, and they were SO releived that their baby wasn't going to pee in their pants or all over the floor, they would run around smiling.

It never occured to me why the actual diaper-wearing kids were'nt in the commercial.

i remember my friends last name was 'testicle' (lol i no!!!) an i thought it meant tentacle so once my brother said 'Do you know what a tessticle is???' and i said, 'Yes, octopuses hav eight.'

I thought family jewels were heirloom rings.

I don't know how I figured this out...but when I was little I was taking a shower and moved my hips back and forth *I was actually humping the air* and I had no idea what humping was then, so I thought I had created this awesome dance move...one day I decided to show my mom, so I found her and said "Hey mommy, look at the cool new dance move!"...She yelled "WHERE DID YOU SEE THAT?!" I said I made it up and she said absolutely nothing in reply...I never did it again after that and some years later, I learned what I was actually doing...

I used to belive that if a girl masterbated too much or too often she would get pregnant

I used to believe…

when i was little i thought the mom pooped out the baby

I used to believe…

when i was about 5 I walked into the "Adult Video" section of the movie store by accident. I looked at all the movie covers and I wondered why everyone on all these tapes were sucking on popcicles. I also wondered how come there wasnt greena and purple flavor and only red and brown ones.

I used to believe…

Until I was about 13 (I was a naive and overprotected child) I thought that men got up in the morning and put on their new clean condom everyday just like they put on their underwear. That way they had it on when they were ready to have sex.

I grew up on a farm, so by a pretty young age, I had seen dogs, cats, horses, and a cow/bull have sex. The problem was the only position I had seen was "doggie style". At about the age of eight, I attended a junior high wrestling match for the first time as a spectator with members of my family. A common starting position for wrestling resembles "doggie style" with one wrestler on all fours and the other positioned behind him. At my young age, and in my bright mind, I announced to everyone in the bleachers the wrestlers were having sex and trying to make a baby. Needless to say, I was removed from the bleachers very quickly by some embarrassed adults. I didn't figure out the "typical" people position until I was almost 16....but that's another story...

I guess my parents were to shy or thought I was to young to know where babies really came from. So up until grade 5 I believed babies came out of your bum :S how embarassing!