sex

I used to believe…

Because of the phrase, "sleeping together" was always equated to sex, I was afraid to let my best friend share my bed with me during a sleepover. I didn't want to get pregnant. Since I didn't fully grasp the concept of sex yet, I also didn't realize that two girls couldn't have sex and get pregnant anyway. She spent a good 20 minutes giving me a better birds and the bees talk than my parents did. She was a year younger than me.

I used to believe that babies were dropped off by storkes...

I used to believe…

When my son was entering puberty, he realized a testicle had descended while he was taking a bath. He then proceeded to run out, screaming and covered in bubbles, "Dad! We need to go to the hospital, NOW! I have a tumor!" He then explained his discovery to me. "Oh no," I replied. "Get dressed and get in the car! Hurry!" I then took him to the hospital, but only to have the doctor explain it to him. Hey, I didn't want to do it!

I used to believe…

when I was little, a friend of my mom's had a baby shower and she was invited to come. I thought it meant she was so big that the women had to help bathe her before she had the baby, I decided I'd NEVER want a baby shower.

I used to believe…

When I was little, I thought that babys were developed in a woman's stomach, and you couldn't eat food while you were pregnant.

My mom and I had gone out to lunch with my Aunt, who was pregnant. She wasn't eating anything, so I told her: "Don't worry Auntie, you can eat again soon."

I used to believe…

When I was in 3rd grade I went to the bathroom in school one day only to discover a toilet filled with blood. I was mortified and ran out of the girl's bathroom. I thought that someone had died or was murdered in the stall and never told anyone because I was afraid that the killer then might come after me. Imagine my relief when I learned about periods.

I used to believe…

When I was about 10-12 I believed that you got pregnant just hanging around a boy. I believed this because I asked my mom how women got pregnant and she (not wanting to tell me the real way) said it happened after you were married. To me this meant that you must have to be around the man a lot. I worried that if I hung around with my brother who was just a year older and very close that I would get pregnant and then what would I do?

I used to believe…

When I was like 7 or 8 I caught my parents having sex. For a long time, becauseof that, I thought they called Wednesday "Hump Day" because everone had sex. I figured if they were doing it, everyone else was too.

I used to believe that when I was in the womb, there were little drawers built into my mom's tummy where I stored all my clothes before I was actually born. And just before she gave birth, I took everything off and left it in the drawers inside her. I was also convinced I was able to see out of the womb through my mom's bellybutton.

I used to believe…

When I was little, I thought that periods lasted only a half an hour, where you'd bleed out copious amounts of blood all at once. I also thought that babies came out of your belly button! What an odd kid I was, before I discovered the internet.

I used to believe…

When I was very young I asked my mother what a virgin was. Embarrassed, she told me that a virgin was somebody who hasn't slept with anyone else. I believed that she meant literally sleeping in the same room as someone else.
I was very embarrassed when my class went to camp in 5th grade, and I started yelling that I didn't want to sleep in the dorms because I wanted to stay a virgin.

I used to believe…

In fifth grade, when we had the sex education video, it talked about when boys are old enough to get erections. I thought for the longest time after, that once a boy is old enough to get an erection, it would last him his whole life. So a guy was always hard, and never soft.

I used to believe condoms were stretched over a woman`s vagina

I used to believe…

When I was about six or so, I asked my aunt where babies came from. She told me storks brought them to mothers in the hospital. I asked why the women at the hospital screamed and she told me the storks were man-eating and were trying to eat the mothers after the long flight. I believed her for the longest time...

I used to believe that babies came from my parents kissing, and that every time they did, the baby switched from my Mom to my Dad through the mouth. I thought that they had to count every time they kissed, so that they made sure my Mom got the final switch to have the baby.

I used to believe…

When I was growing up I thought everyone had a vagina, till I saw My Dad in the shower one day and I was shocked and went and asked My Mom right away, what it was and She had to explain the difference