sex

I used to believe…

me and my friend were watching a movie with my mom and dad and the word virginity popped up.Instantly I asked what it meant and my dad said its when you havnt skiied.Im guessing he forgot about telling me this because one day we went skiing and the first thing i said was how happy I was to not be a virgin anymore!!!

I used to believe…

I'm a woman. When I was a child I thought the third hole was my bodies ventilation system. I was wrong of cores…

I read a book once that you can do boob excersizes to increase your boob size... so every day i would pump my arms back and fourth and flex my boob muscles- i did this for a few weeks until i realized it didnt work...

I used to believe…

when i was about 10 i thought if you were a virgin you had, had sex, then one day a classmate asked me if i was a virgin and i said no, you should of seen the look on the teachers face

I used to believe…

when i was really young i used to think that you became pregnant when you kissed your husband at the altar on your wedding day!

I used to believe…

When I was about 5 I had no idea how babies were born and assumed that they just appeared out of thin air. I confused the hell out of my parents by asking what would happen if a baby was born in our kitchen while Mum was washing up.

I used to believe…

When I was around 8 years in NYC the stray dogs would have sex and the male would get "stuck" in the female (biologically I've since learned that the male's penis swells and keeps him in the female even if she suddenly runs away so he follows even on two legs). All the catholic girls from the local private school told us heathen protestants that if you looked at the point where the male and female met you would see the face of God and die!

I used to believe…

When I was around 6 and my brother was 14, we were watching TV. And all of a sudden a commercial came on for a TV show called Porn and Chicken. I like the ring it had to it so I started saying it over and over again until I made it into a song. My brother said for me to stop, and I bickered back no. He then asked me what porn was and I replied:
It's something you do at a funeral.
I THOUGHT IT WAS MOURN!

i used to think tht u could have a baby if a boy peeed on u!!!!! i was like 5

I used to believe…

When I was young and wondering about 'the birds and the bees' I asked my mum how babies were made. She told me the truth, unlike any other mum: An egg and a sperm. I had no idea what this sperm thing was or where it came from, but i did my level best to stop anyone frying or boiling or eating eggs for a while after, claiming "you're destroying potential babies!"

I used to believe…

when I was three I thought both that there was no such thing as a penis. I was also in that boys have koodies stage so when I saw my dad naked I thought he had fungus and his penis was a mushroom

I used to believe…

When I was about 10 my friends and I were discussing periods.. according to them it happend once a month and you passed an egg like a hen's egg... I remember being scared wittless about it.. thinking.. where am I gona hide all these eggs?

I used to think that when you get married, God will automaticly put a baby in your stomach.But now i know that you have to go through a stage before having a baby.

I belived from 7-11 that if two people had sex in the shower they would die, i thought this becasue i always watched horror movies with my family and that would always happen when two people where in the shower together

I used to think that sex was a man playing with his wanker and cumming then holding it in his hands and putting both of them up a chicks vagina. i tried putting both of my hands up there once and ow that must hurt. i asked my mom if it hurt when my dad did it to her and she set me straight.

I used to belive ( along time ago) that the pads my mom used were diapers for mummies.