sex

my mum told me when I was about 6 or 7 about reproduction, and the different body parts. She explained that girls had 3 holes- 1 to poo, 1 to pee, and 1 where the baby comes out. I found this interesting, but it also made me worry. I knew that my penis needed to go into the one where the baby gets born, but I was scared I would never be able to tell them apart.

I knew there were gay and lesbians, but thought the gays wanted to pretend they were girls, and the lesbians wanted to pretend they were boys - so they had to look for each other to pair up. This was later reinforced when I saw the show Soap.

when i was about 6, i announced to my entire extended family at christmas that my 'girlfriend' wanted to hump me. i was delighted that she would want to do that, although at the time i certainly didnt believe that humping was something that would cause such shock amongst my family.

When I was in elementary school, we'd been learning about oral history (passing stories down through generations), and been assigned oral reports in Speech class, so to me, the word "oral" meant speech, or speaking. (Well, either that, or a nasty, painful trip to the dentist.)
Some local sex scandal erupted when I was about 9... I forget what, exactly, but on the way home from school, my Mom and I were listening to the radio news, and I heard the phrase "oral sex" for the first time.
"Oh, I didn't know you could have oral sex!" I blurted out. "I thought that was a physical thing - you mean people do it over the phone, too?"

My sister used to believe that being a virgin meant you had sex. She was horrified that my father thought she was a "virgin" as a young teen. My father was equally horrified that she was insisting she was not a virgin. This painful discussion went on until I figured out she had it backwards and let them both know.

I grew up on a farm, so I was familiar with crop farming and gardening from an early age, but had absolutely no concept of sexual reproduction until much later. As a result, when I was 5 or 6 and overheard my Mother explaining to my older sister how "the man's penis fertilizes the seed," I remember picturing a penis wearing a hat and deligently using farming tools. My sister immediately chased me away when she saw that I was intruding on their "private" conversation, so I missed hearing the rest of the lecture and was left with that absurd image in my head for years.

When I was a pre-teen, a friend, who pretended to know more about everything than he really did, had me convinced that if you "screwed" a woman too hard you would kill her.

When I was little someone gave me a unicorn toy that had a story about how only virgins got to see unicorns.
Years later, when I lost mine, I suddenly had this heart crushing moment when I relized I was never going to get to see a unicorn.

My friend was more precocious than I was in his interest in sex (though not much better informed), and he told me that when men and women had sex, they used a rubber. He wasn't sure exactly what it was, but I assumed it was some kind of appliance without which sex could not be done, since I couldn't imagine how any body parts that we boys had could have any physical correspondence with what girls had. Obviously, then, the rubber was the thing that would accomplish the hookup required to make a baby.

So one day I was downstairs in my grandma's old farmhouse, and I saw a box of what I now know to be milking machine parts, the long black rubber things you slip over the cow's teats for milking. They looked uncomfortably stiff, but since they had an opening about the proportion of a penis, I figured that was the rubber my friend had told me about! I was always really curious about the things, but carefully avoided looking at them when grandma was around, and certainly didn't ask any questions about them. (I also wondered why grandpa and grandma needed a set of four of them.)

I was absolutely convinced that babies were actually in the stomach and the woman was pregnant as a result of something she ate. How did the baby come out? That was obious, it comes out the same way food comes out. I mean from watching all those scenes on tv where a woman was having a child it looked like she was taking a very large and painful dump.

I have an aunt that, until the age of seventeen, believed she could get pregnant if someone flipped her the bird. She was out with friends one night, and some boys drove by in a car and flipped her off. She went home crying and told her mother she was pregnant...

I took sex ed in 6th grade in a fairly conservative town. We covered how the sperm fertilized the egg, but not exactly how it got there. I thought that men ejaculated tiny sperm into the air--they'd float around until they found a nice woman to swim into, and then there'd be a baby.

I used to believe that ALL babies had to be cut out of their mommies tummies (like a C-section), and was terrified to have children because I didn't want to have my tummy cut open.

Some time well before puberty, I used to wake up with a hard-on in the morning. As I usually had to pee in the morning, I put two and two together and decided the hard-ons were due to my penis getting filled up with urine overnight.

Rewind twenty-odd years to a little boy learning about astrological signs. Cancer, the crab -- check. Leo, the lion -- check. Virgo, the... what? Virgin? What the heck is that? Well, the picture in the book is of a young and attractive young lady, so that's what a virgin must be.

Some months/years later, the word "virgin" came up in a conversation with my sister (a year older than I.) She accused me of not even knowing what the word meant. I indignantly said, "Yes I do, it's a pretty woman!" I was very embarrassed when she corrected me.

When I was a little girl, my big sister got pregnant. In his own way, my father explained it to me...he told me that she had eaten a watermelon seed, and that it was growing in her belly, and that the same went for any fruit seed. I used to believe that she was growing a watermelon in her belly.

I used to believe that there was a wise, bearded, old father figure in the sky who cared about nothing in the entire universe so much as what I was doing with my penis.

I used to believe…

kind of gross: I began having noctournal emissions at a relatively young age, young enough to not have had any sex ed classes (in fact, at my first sex ed class I mentioned my wet dreams and the teacher laughed and said I was too young). Anyway, I would wake up in the morning having had a noctournal emission and beleived that I had wet the bed! Having never had a problem with this, I was horrified with embarassment. To remedy the problem, I began avoiding drinking anything at night and also tried to empty my bladder before I went to bed. I would stand at the toilet for a long time trying to get every last drop of urine out so that there would be none left for the night.