sex

When me andmy sister were little we used to call farts blow offs. So obviously when everyone at school started talking about giving somebody a blow job i thought it was really disgusting because i thought they wanted to fart in the guys face!

When I was small we had encyclopedias for children called ChildCraft. In one of these books was a picture of an outline of a man and a woman with an arrow pointing between their middles. For several years I was convinced that if a married man and woman stood next to each other, some sort of substance would float through the air, making the woman pregnant. You had to be grown up and married for this to happen, which is why it was okay for me to stand next to boys.

Until being correctly informed, I never knew that girls could 'cum', so when hearing the line "creaming over tough guys" in a song, i assumed that the girls just got out cans of whipped cream and squited them over the men! How embarrassed I was when i suggested we do this at a party!

I used to believe that the only time adults had sex was to have a baby, so in the movies when a prospective father was surprised his wife was going to have a baby, I thought that was really silly. Of course he knew!

I used to believe that when a guy was circumsised that the whole head of a guys penis was cut off, so I thought I was uncut until I was about 19 and saw what it really meant.

I thought that a woman could never have sex during her pregnancy. I was completely ready to wait the whole time when our first was conceived. I think my wife wishes now that she had let me believe it.

I used to believe that girls must have something similar to a "hard on". I thought that the outside of their vagina would get hard like a rock. I called it a "rocky".

When I was about 8, my older brother had an adult magizine. At the time he was 16. I asked him what the people in it were doing, he said "They're having sex" I didn't know what that was, so I asked him. He told me to ask Mum and Dad. I asked Dad what sex was and he said "Ask your Mum" So I did. I said "Mum what's sex?" She told me it's when a little man gets into your underwear. So later that day my little brother, who was 4, stuck his Lego man in my shirt. It went into my pants, I went up to my Mum and said "Mum, Johnny made me have sex!" Of course my Mum said "WHAT?!" and I told her he dropped a Lego man in my pants and she sat me down and explained to me what sex really was.

In Barbados, gay men are called bullers and doing each other is bulling. Somehow I understood that it had to do with sex, but couldn't figure the two men part, so for a long time, I called straight sex bulling. How embarrassing to be corrected in front of the whole gang!

I think I was around 10. My curiosity was just beginning to awaken. And then it came to me. In a flash of insight I saw how sex was performed. A man takes his finger and places it into a womans belly button. Knowledge is power!

When my younger brother was around 8 or 9 years old, he was curious and read the directions inside a box of tampons. For years he believed tampons were for cleaning out your butt because of the illustration on the directions.

When I was 10 years old my labrador retriever impregnated my chihuahua. From that moment on I thought men's penises could get stuck inside women's vaginas.
p.s. they eventually unstuck and the puppies were adorable.

When I was a kid and adult friends of my parents discussed trying to get pregnant, and the difficulty of correct "timing," I pictured a couple having sex while looking at a stopwatch, to determine how long they were having intercourse. 30 seconds (or a minute, etc., I didn't know!) too long or too short a time, and forget it! No pregnancy would result.

Babies were delivered in a suitcase-not by a stork, that would be too dangerous!
Until I was 6 I thought the mid-wife brought the baby in her big bag and the mother just got fat because she wouldn't have time to cook or eat.

I'd always heard about the "miracle" of birth. Being raised strict Roman Catholic I knew what he church considered miracles. I therefore assumed that a baby magically passed thru the mothers stomach wall into the world at birth. When I saw a film of an actual birth I was really upset about it. I thought it was the most awful thing I had ever witnessed and wondered how anyone would refer to the event as a "miracle"

I have a 2 yr old and am now pregnant with my second one. We talk about the baby all the time and I show him my belly and my son thinks he has one in his belly button too. But when we go to the store and people ask him where his new brother is, he always reaches up and grabs my breasts and tells them that's where the baby is! I have NO idea where he got that idea!!!

My friend Theresa's mom told her that if you used a tampon, that you weren't a virgin anymore. She didn't believe me when I told her the truth and for all I know, she still doesn't.