sex

After I'd first learned "the facts of life", I'd talk endlessly with my girlfriends and say things like "OMG, can you believe that the Pastor and his wife did it FIVE times? They have five kids, you know... the name and number changeing with the situation. I believed that people only had sex in order to have a child, and that the number of children was the number of times they'd had sex in their entire lives!
Now... perhaps that IS true... With my second child, she was conceived after a one-night reunion with my ex.... go figure...Guess it was one of those self-fulfilling proverbs or something!

I used to think I could decide which sex I wanted to be when I grew up. I figured if the body can grow breasts, why not penises? Imagine my surprise when I found that the decision had already been made.

When I was about 3 y.o. I used to think that cameras had x-ray vision and would therefore expose me to the world, therefore I went through a period of grabbing my crotch during photos (Wacko Jacko eat your heart out!)

When I first got my period at 13, I didn't know anything about the female reproductive system. When I started passing clots of blood (pieces of uterine lining) with my period, I thought they were pieces of the baby that I would have had if I'd had sex. I'd look at it and try to figure out if it would have been an arm or a leg or something.

My daughter believed that babies were put in the mother's stomach by God and when it was time for it to be born the doctor opened the door in the stomach (the belly button being the handle) and took the baby out. However, when we went to visit a friend in the hospital when she was about 7 she went to look at the babies in the nursery with her Dad while I visited my friend and when I went to find them she told me "I was wrong about where babies come from - they have a baby store here - you just go pick one out!" She thought that for a very long time and was very annoyed that we wouldn't take her in there to pick one out.

My cousin told me that men get women pregnant by peeing in their belly button. Then and there, I vowed to remain childless if that is what I had to put up with!

Until I was 20, I honestly believed that a boys testicles dropped suddenly when they reached puberty! Just like dropped in their pants one day - must have been disturbing to have that happen to you in the playground huh?

I used to believe that the penis was type sponge after I interruped my Dad ringing it out in the Bath. he was quite embarrassed at the time but even more embarrassed when he found out that I'd told my teacher only 3 days before the annual parents meeting.

When I was about 12, around the camp fire at Scout Camp, the conversation moved onto Sex. I decided to keep very quiet in case I said something deadly embarrasing, but one of the more cocky scouts in my troop suddenly declared that he had had oral sex. No-one believed him.

When one of the leaders asked him what oral sex was he eventually replied that "it was when you had sex without an erection"!

He was never allowed to forget that one.

When I reached 15 I still did not have my period, all my friends did. I used to get frequent nose bleeds and thought that this was my period was coming out my nose.

Every month for three days my mom would sleep on the floor. She would not do any household work and rest. She also would not let anyone touch her. If we kids did touch her by mistake we would have to go take a bath. That used to be the custom in my society twenty years ago. As a kid when I asked her why we couldnot touch her,I was told that she had stepped on dog doo. Later I found out it was the period. And for a long time i thought women get periods when they step on dog doo.

When I was about 9 I remember my friend telling me that you only grew pubes once you'd had sex... I went straight home and started furiously yanking out what pubic hair I had with a pair of tweezers!

Up until I was 13 or so, I thought that guy's testicles were each individually packaged (kind of like american cheese) -- ie, they each had their own scrotum. You have to understand, that pretty much everytime I saw them (greek statues, sex ed pamphlets), the penis was in front of them so there was no way to tell. That, and also, why would you call it "balls" if there was really only one hanging item.

I was in fifth grade when I first heard of the human reproduction process: a friend ran into the classroom right after recess and yelled, "Hey! I know how babies are made! The man sticks his dick in the woman's --" and right then someone made a noise and I didn't hear what the last word was. For a long time I thought of where one might put the thing to make a baby but really couldn't think of a good answer. Still looking.

Being raised Catholic helped me come up with my own version of "how babies were made". I was convinced (up to age 10) that the ONLY way to become pregnant was to get married in church AND be sprinkled with holy water by the priest. Of course, that explained the first child. What I couldn't come up with was a good explanation on how to get pregnant with a second child WITHOUT having to get married again.

I used to be quite disgusted by my own belief that when older I would reproduce through urinating into a woman's vagina. Needless to say I was young enough not to have known what other fluids eminate from "the little fella".

When I was young, my parents told me that babies came from God. Not very explanatory. I had seen bits on TV about doctors & hospitals & mothers strapped on tables to give birth--so I worked out that when a baby was due, the doctor would stand in the hospital parking lot and wait with his arms out for the baby to drop from heaven. They strapped the mother to a table so she wouldn't get excited & jostle the doctor. Why did her belly get big? God made it happen so the doctor would know when to go outside & wait! :)