sex

When I was a little kid, I was talking to one of my friends, and we started talking about sex. I didn't know what it was, so she explained to me that it was when a man and a woman make their private parts touch. So for the longest time I thought that a man had to put his penis between a woman's breasts. I was always confused about how that could be the way babies were made...

I use to watch the sanitary commercials, the ones where they are running, jumping around and walking dogs and riding bicycles in complete freedom, so I thought that a sanitry towel was extra padding you put in your shoes to make it more comfortable to walk.

When I was about 14 yrs. old I had 2 best friends that were older and more worldly than I. On the way home from school one day, they asked me if I had heard about our fellow student who's boy friend "knocked her up". Thoroughly confused, I thought they said he "locked her up" and proceeded to spout off about how that was illegal and her parents had better do something quick. Even worse, when they were done laughing and repeated the sentence to me..I STILL didn't have a clue.

My wife couldn't figure out why no one was happy when her dad went to the hospital. Every time her mother went she brought home a new sister. My wife thought she was going to get a new brother.

when I was about six I had two older cousins and we were talking about blow jobs at a sleepover, and I was too embarrassed to tell them I had no idea what they were. They told me to pretend to give a blow job to my ken doll, So i held him up and blew on his crotch!

When I was about 11 I believed I had breast cancer because I developed 2 hard lumps in my nipples. I had heard a commercial about checking breasts for lumps. For a year I was scared I had cancer and was totally relieved when I finally asked the doctor and he told me it was normal and I was just developing.

Once when I was about 5 yrs old, I saw my mom remove a tampon. don't ask me why, but to me, it looked like a piece of bacon & that's what I thought it was. I asked her for some...

My older sister and I shared a room when we were young... one night she explained to me that there were actually people in Hollywood (apparently ONLY in Hollywood) that has sex for fun and not just when they wanted a baby! imagine... she went on to explain they managed this by wrapping the man's penis in Saran wrap and a rubber band. for a long time i thought only people in Hollywood had sex without a baby and when I was much older and learned of condoms I naturally thought that whole Hollywood-Saran wrap thing must have really caught on!

I remember being really little and walking in on mum after she had come out of the bathroom. I remember seeing her pubic hair and thinking how gross it was and that it was like how dads had hair on their chest. yuk!

When my mother was young no one ever talked about sex. But at her primary school they had "mother and daughter" nights. On these nights they would never actually talk about sex but "the birds and the bees." My Grandmother would never take my mother to these night, so she asked her friends what they were about, they told her they watched videos about birds and bees, my mother always wondered why you had to take you mother along? lol

When is was little, i heard my mom talking about someone she knew, who had been raped. And i asked her what "Raped" is and she told me "Its when i man has sex (i knew what sex was) and the women doesnt want to. So sometime later (6 months to a year if i remember correctly)i was sitting next to my mom in the living room, playing with my toy cars, and the movie that was on, two people were kissing in bed, the lady and guy stopped kissing, the lady said "Yes, Yes" and just nodded, then they astarted kissing again and went to another scene. Well...I thought that the lady HAD! to say yes before the man and woman had sex, i believed this until my pre-teen age hehe :-)

THE FIRST TIME I HAD MY PERIOD MY MOM HADN'T EXATCLY EXPLAINED IT AND SO I CALLED 911 BECAUSE I THAUGHT I WAS BLEEDING TO DEATH, THE EMERGENCY WORKERS TOLD ME TO STOP PRANK CALLING OR THEY WOULD CALL THE COPS.

When my daughter, LIzzy, was almost two, I sat my four year old son down to tell him that we were thinking of having another baby. He burst out crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said, "I want to keep Lizzy."

For a short time between ignorance and fuller knowledge (I'd guess about 10 to 12, maybe younger), I knew that girls did not have penises. From there I concluded that boys had sex with girls by putting their penises into girls' asses. The confirmation of this theory was that girls had cute butts.

When I was pregnant with my second child, I jumped at the opportunity to use the pregnancy as a 9 month long sex education/biology/anatomy lesson for my nine year old son. With puberty right around the corner, I'd rather he learned the awful truth from me than have his head filled with crap from his friends. He was very involved with the pregnancy right from the start and even acted as my labor coach. Right before the big day, I quizzed him on where babies come from. He said, "First, you ovulated and then you and dad had sex. Then dad SPIT A BIG WAD OF SPERM IN YOUR MOUTH and fertilized the egg..." Needless to say, we had to have a refresher course on the sex part.

I did not believe in the stork; I knew that women got pregnant for 9 months, then gave birth in the hospital. I did not know how the baby got there in the first place. I believed that when a couple got married, the wife would "automatically" become pregnant.
I also thought the baby would leave the mother's womb through her butt. ;)