sex

I got my twisted view of sex from watching Back To The Future as a young child. I remembered seeing Biff with his hand up Lorraine's skirt, and her calling for help, so I naturally assumed that sex involved the man's hands and the woman's privates. I believed this until health class in middle school set me straight. I even made my Barbies have "sex" with Ken's hands up the ladies' skirts. (After all, Ken does nothing to promote a correct understanding of the male body.)

I used to believe…

When I was little and heard about how babies originated from eggs in your stomach, i always thought that the egg was originally a seed that grew to an egg. either you were born with the seed or not. I would go to my parents and asked them if they could feel the seed moving in my stomach and was very disappointed when they said it wasn't there.

I was a very sheltered child (as well as a late bloomer), and even though I had had a "growing and changing" class in fifth grade, I was somewhat clueless about my own body. So when my breasts started to form in middle school, it just happened to coincide with the health class discussions about breast cancer. I was mortified! I remember sitting in the back of the class and feeling like my world was ending. I thought I had breast cancer, even though I was only 12, because the description they gave was "lumps in the breasts." I did not realize, until a few months later when I finall broke down in tears and told my mother that I had breast cancer, that a woman's breasts are SUPPOSED to have tissue growing in them, because that's how they form... I had always thought that they just kind of expanded, like they were filled with air.

I used to believe that you could choose the sex of your child because of what a classmate told me in the fifth grade.

I thought that if you wanted a boy, a man inserted his penis in a woman's vagina. If you wanted a girl, a man would insert his penis in a woman's anus. And that if a man urinated into a woman's vagina this would create conjoined twins.

I was a gullible 11-year old

I used to believe that 'Shagging' meant flopping around, after reading a book about a shaggy dog with floppy hair.
I was about 7 years old and i was watching a tv show called 'top of the pops' with my sister and the babysitter who was looking after us.
The man who was singing on it was wearing tight leather trousers and was dancing in a way that made his willy 'flop around'.
So i exclaimed "hey look his willy's shagging!"
my sister who is much older than me burst into fits of laughter along with the babysitter.
I sat there laughing with them because i thought they found it funny that his willy was 'flopping around' too.
later on that evening they told me what 'shagging' really meant.
:D
oops!

I used to believe…

When I was little my mom would refer to my penis as a "spout". Until one day in 4th grade when human anatomy was introduced to us, I stood up and proudly said, "It's not called a penis, it's called a spout!"

I used to believe…

When I was three, my mom was babysitting my cousins and I watched her change my youngest cousin's diaper. I had never seen a penis before and asked my mom what was between his legs.

A week later, my mom took me grocery shopping and I saw her put something in the cart that caught my eye.

"What's that," I asked.

"Peanuts," she said.

I was horrified and said, "YOU MEAN THEY SELL THEM IN A JAR?!?"

She had no clue what I meant and said, "of course they do silly. What are you talking about?"

I pointed to my crotch and whispered, "You know, peanuts!"

I used to believe…

My mother was pregnant when I was 7 and I asked where babies come from. The only part I remember is "daddy plants a seed" so I thought babies were planted outside the hospital windows in flower pots.

I use to believe that people of different ethnicities had different genitalia. So African American males differed from Asian Men or Caucasian women differed from Mexican woman, and etc.

I used to believe…

When I was pregnant with my son my 3 yr old daughter would put her ear to my stomach and say she could hear the baby saying "Open the door, open the door"! I have to tell her this when she grows up.

I caught my Mom off guard one day and she told me babies came out the belly button. I didn't discover the truth until watching a cow give birth a few years later.

I used to believe…

When I was 16 and worked at a grocery store I was asked where the condiments were. I thought that was a fancy name for condoms. I was so embarrassed that I just turned red and could hardly speak.

I used to believe…

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years so our conversations are pretty no-holds-barred. I had my period at the time and had to go pee. He asked me if I needed my purse, when I told him 'no' he looked confused. He then said 'how do you pee if you don't take the tampon out?'. He's 25.

I used to believe…

When my sister and I were young there was an elderly woman who watched us some times. She told us that if we touched our private areas than snakes would grow out of them and everyone would know that we had touch ourselves. She obviously was warning us about the "dangers" of masturbation, but we were too young to know what she was talking about. So my sister and I became scared to even wash down there just in case snakes grew out.

I used to believe that my mom had me and that my dad had my little brother... (we are just a year apart - I was very young...) boys have boys and girls have girls...

I used to believe that sanitary napkins were for the working women. If she got so busy at work and didn't have time to go to the bathroom she could just pee in the pad and keep going