sex

Imagine a coupla' 2-Year olds; they're frightened but curious about the gasping & screeching noises coming from "Mom & Dads'" bedroom.
(Daddy seems to be chewing on Mom, which is also kinda ODD ... )
Mom eventually shoos them away, saying the Sign on their door says "She's Busy" (of course, the kids haven't learned how to read yet ...)

Sometime in the future, these two kids are at a horror movie (this being a small town, so is their School Teacher)
The School Teacher asks them to describe what the movie's about (preparation for Public Speech & Essays?)
And, these two kids reply "The Lady is having Sex with the Monster, and now SHE'S BUSY!"

I used to believe that the people that designed "Congratulation" cards for new mothers all copied each other, or why would they ALWAYS draw a stork on it?

My parents had very considerably told me the real origin of babies, but had never explained the "alternate theories" about cabbage patches and storks!

I used to believe (until my teens) that older women couldn't control their bladders. Thus, pads and such absorded all the pee they leaked. I never understood why it was such a good thing to start your period.

When i was 8 on my birthday a boy had told me that he wanted to have sex with me and that it would be my birthday present. So i agreed and There was an old bed in the garage we both just laid in the bed about 30 min into our "sex" my mom comes into the garage i jump up and scream mom dont look! and she didnt see us because the bed was hidden and she walks back inside and i wondered how to explain to her that i had jsut had sex by lying down in a bed with a boy.

When I was a freshman in college, I had a very ignorant roommate. At one point she ran in the room from down the hall and yelled, "Do you know what a hummer is?" (Apparently she had just been told) I said "Yes, do you?" and she then proceeded to tell me it was when you hummed on a guy, which I assume was what the guys down the hall had told her. When I tried to correct her she actually argued with me, so I gave up. She was an idiot.

i was at a dinner table with a bunch of my friends when i discovered that a friend of mine believed that 'bisexual' meant that you have both female and male parts. when i said uhm, no.... he went on to question about the rest of his theory, that he thought a bisexual person must therefore get pregnant constantly without having sex... he was dead serious. (i understand if this doesnt make the childhood beliefs list because, well, im talking about 20 year olds!!)

When I was young, I believed that you got pregnant by kissing a boy.

Masturbation would make me pregnant.

my wife has told me that she believed that the man's penis somehow detached from his body, flew over to the woman, and did whatever it had to do; she said her mother started out telling her that 'the man and woman lie down together in bed", and she never got beyond the 'side by side' visual. needless to say, she is often asked about my 'flying penis' by smart-aleck relatives.

My brother and I, after much discussion, thought we had figured out how babies were made. Unfortunately, lacking the knowledge of the female anatomy, and of the existence of a second fluid from the penis, we decided that the man put his penis into the woman's anus and urinated. (un)luckily, our mother overheard this and set us straight...somewhat; "you NEVER do that!" *THWACK*

The first time I masturbated, I didn't know what I was really up to, until I started to ejaculate; my young mind had gotten the notion that since there were two testicles, and my brother and I were the only kids around, that each testicle=one child. I tried to stop mid-ejaculation, outt of the fear that I was shooting a testicle and would only be able to have one child. much confusion arose as well when my little sister was conceived....

My older brother and his friend told me that homosexuals were guys that cut off each others' dicks. "Why do they do that?!"---"Because they're queers!"---"Gosh, no wonder people don't like them!"

I shared a bedroom with my older sister,and one day I found a box of strange white things in her closet. Later,I was going outside to roller skate when she screamed "Stop her!" and my mother had to tell me to take off the two sanitary napkins I had tied around my legs - as knee pads!

When I was about 8, my mother explained the female version of puberty to me, but never used the word "puberty." She just said, "when you start your period." Shortly after that, I asked my dad when boys grew hair on their bodies and he explained that it happened during puberty.

So, at about 9, when a friend of mine told me she was starting puberty, I was really confused. I was too shy to say, but I wanted to tell her that only boys go through puberty. I guess it's a good thing I kept my mouth shut!

When I was younger I thought being circumsized meant that you had a sex change. When I noticed that I had a scar on my penis I asked my parents what it was. They told me I had been circumsized. I was devistated.

when I was 3 my mom was pregnant with my little brother. I couldn't wait until he was born because I thought he would be so cute and little. Little enough to stand up in the palm of my hand and be two inches tall.
To my suprise my baby brother weighed 10 pounds when he was born! Much bigger than I thought he would be.