sex

I used to believe that the only way parents could have babies was if they got married. It had something to do with putting on the ring.

But even funnier than that is that my sister thought babies were present at the wedding.

I was 5 when my mom was pregnant with my sister. She used to tell me that the stork brought the babies to the hospital and that the hospital roof would open up and that was how the stork delivered the babies. She told me that her belly was full of gas and that when she went to the hospital the doctor would fix it and give her a baby.

I used to believe…

when i was 8 i took a huge poop and i thought it was a baby

I used to believe…

When i was a kid, fishing with my dad on lake invermere, i caught a used condom. Not knowing what it was, I went to grab it... My dad immediately caught my hand and firmly told me not to touch it. He got a little flustered when i asked why, as he didnt want to tell me about sex.
so he euphamised it. he started off the story with "Kevin, when a mommy fish and a daddy fish love each other very much they want to express that love, sometimes without making baby fish..." and I blurted out "OH! So those come from fish?"
Not wanting to say any more he said "Yes, Kevin, those come from fish but they are dirty so dont touch them."
when I got a little older and started sex-ed in school a teacher held up a condom and asked if anyone knew what it was. Needless to say i was severely embarassed that day!

I used to believe…

When I was around the age of 5-8 I used to think that a tampon was a kind of speacel tolet paper. One day, me, my brother and my mom were at the musem, and my mom got a tampon out of her backpack and went into the backroom. I was so mad because I thought that she was just being selfess and useing speacel tolet paper that took a long time to use.

I used to believe…

until i was about 11 i always that that oral sex was talkting to eachother about what you were doing imagionaraly over the phone. Imagion my suprise when i found out the truth.

I used to believe…

When I was younger, I thought a woman could get pregnant by herself. I didnt think we needed a guy, so when I was young, all the guys said thier nasty little comments and i said "well, we dont need you to make babies, we can do it ourselves."
everyone believed me too.

I used to think when I was about 5 that when you gave birth the baby would come out of your tiny pee hole and not your actual vagina. I was so scared of having a baby that I literally considered becoming a nun when I was only 5.

I used to think that tampons, if left in too long, would start to absorb all the fluids in your body, and that Toxic Shock Syndrome was when you had dried out and needed to go to the hospital to be watered.
I was a weird kid.

I used to think that when a mommy and daddy had made a baby, when they kissed, the daddy put an egg in the mommys mouth, and she swallowed it, and thats how it got in her tummy. Then she pooped it out and THERE was the baby!

I used to believe…

When i was little i wanted to come to sleep with my parents because i had a bad dream so when i cam up the door it was already slightly open so i heard my mom screaming and i peeked in and i could see my mom and dad having it (but i didn't know what that was yet) so i thought my dad was hurting my mom(because she was screaming) and i called the police and i ran to my room when the police came they ran into my parents room and then caught my parents naked!!!

My parents or the police didnt decide to tell me what sex is until i was 11 so until then i thought sex was when the man hurt the girl

I used to believe…

okay this is weird. I thought that that since people are constantly talking about the infamous "put the condom on the banana," the banana peel was the condom.
Yeah.
I wouldn't eat bananas for 3 year.

i used to belive that you coud get pregnet by pooping on the toilet

I used to believe that babies came from outer-space. :)

I used to believe…

The first time I asked my mom where babies come from, she told me, "A man and a woman have to be naked, they go under the covers and they make a baby." So I always thought that if I was ever naked next to a boy, I would automatically get pregnant.

I used to believe…

This isn't really a belief.Just a story. When I was 11 I was in the show, "The Sound of Music" playing one of the kids. You know the microphone packs? They're little boxes that have the on off switch and stuff and a cord that runs up to the actual mic that you put on your face. The tech people had this idea to cover the mic packs with condoms. So before every show they put one over everyone's mic pack. One day, the girl who played Gretl, (age five) came up to me and asked what they put on the mic packs. I told her, "Um..special microphone covers." And she believed me. Boy was that close!