sex

I always understood the whole "sex makes you pregnant" part, but i never got how the baby came out.... so i immeditaly thought it came out of your bellybutton. Well, i never knew what belly buttons were for!

I used to believe…

Well, after learning about "oral sex" i thought that everything that has the word oral inside of it ment that kind of sex. One day my french teacher said "Today class, we're gonna take an oraltest" I was sooooo disqested, I wanted to complain to the princaple that the teacher was making us have oral sex with each other. I was expecially disqested when i was paired up with the most UGLIEST guy in the world. I learned eventually. ( i was in 6th grade)

I used to believe…

One day while I was on the phone with my friend, we got on the topic of getting a physical. I annoyingly exclaimed how I HATED peeing in those stupid cups because it is so uncomfortable to have to hold it between your legs while you pee. She then grasps this real deep and serious tone and goes 'Do you want to know what I've always wondered? How do they know your not on your period? If you are, you can't pee, only blood will come out. Do they really want a cup of blood?'

-----She was SIXTEEN!!!

I used to believe…

When I was at the age where you know a lot about sex, but don't want anyone else to know that you know, I would get rather embarrassed hearing people use the word Condo, because it always made me think of Condom, and I thought my mother would know what I was thinking about and shun me for life.

I used to believe…

Someone I know was looking at her mom's tampon when she was young, and she accidently broke it. She was scared because she thought that you used the multiple times, and she thought her mom would be mad at her.

I used to believe…

This one isn't me, it's my brother.

He's 9, and becoming curious about "the birds and the bees"...:ahem: so he asked my mom, who said "jesus puts the baby in the mommy's tummy"

So then my brother watched a documentary on tv about zebra's, and a male died. then the female zebra had a baby. so my bro linked the two things together.

later, he was talking to our aunt on the phone, telling her about the show he had watched. he said "the daddy zebra died, then jesus put a baby in the mommy zebra's belly!!"

needless to say, my aunt asked my mom about it later.

I used to believe…

When I was a kid I believed that God made babies on a conveyor belt. And when they were complete, God would poke each baby in the stomach as they were passing by and say, "you're done, you're done." And thats why we all have belly buttons.

I used to think that babies come out through your mouth.

I used to believe…

When I was a kid I used to believe that the "cherry" was an actual one and to pop it meant someone else popped and literal cherry.
One day I had a bowl full and my brother stole one and ate it. I cried and ran and told my mom he had popped my cherry. She freaked until she found out it was a food cherry.

I used to believe…

When sex was first explained to me, I thought that the man and woman would just fall asleep without any clothes on and hope they rolled into eachother while they were sleeping so they could have a baby.

I used to believe…

when i was small my friend told me that lesbians can have kids but the kid can only be a girl and her skin will be pink and gays can have a boy and his skin will be blue and i kind a believed her...

I used to believe…

when i was 4, my mom was pregnant with my little brother. i remember once, she was rubbing her big belly saying " wake up, austin! wake up!" For some reason, i imagined her belly being divided into 4 compartments, and in 1 of them (i even remember where it was! the top left compartment!) was a little fox in a fox den sleeping on a bed, while another fox was saying "wake up austin!" well, later, when my mom went into labor, my grandma stayed home with us. she kept saying, "Austin's coming! Austin's coming!" I was sooooo scared, cuz I thought a fox was gonna be coming, and wasn't sure if it would eat me or not! I still remember the day of his birth, and my surprise when a baby came instead :)

I used to believe…

when I was younger, I overheard my friends talking about a girl they knew. They were disgusted, and said that she played with herself. Being an only child, and thinking they meant, playing by herself, with stuffed animals, or something, I said, I do too, what's the big deal?

I used to believe…

this from when i was in middle school.
not a child.
Well.
everyone at my school would mock this
one girl because she was a real whore.
she would do anyone.
so they all would say
"Gina works at B.J.'s"
And since that is a supermarket
around where i live. i was like
wait... shes only 14, she cant
work there!

little did i know.
they werent referring to the market.

I used to believe…

When my little sister was born, i was 4. And i was still tryin to figure out where babies came from. Since my parents wouldnt tell me, i figured that the mommy ate so many strange foods that it somehow blended and became a baby. So i decided to tell my little baby sister that she was made of doughnuts.

I used to believe…

My friends and I used to believe that a girl could get pregnant by hugging a boy while they were lying in bed...ha ha...I think this was because one of my older cousins told us that the song "2 Become 1" by the Spice Girls was a "baby making song"...and we didn't know that they were talking about sex in the song...we just thought that they were talking about when two people hug each other really tight or something b/c there's a lot of hugging in the music video...lol