sex

I used to believe that when you masturbated, you bleed. How wierd, that's why I never tried it.

I used to believe…

For reasons lost to history, I used to believe that the word "tambourine" was essentially synonomous with vagina. I was therefore quite confused and intrigued when my older brother told Santa Claus that he wanted a tambourine for Christmas.

I was actually kind of relieved that Christmas when he got one from Santa and I realized my mistake. I did however continue to be intrigued with and confused by those things formerly known as tamborines.

I really used to believe that a C-section was another name for natural birth. My mom had a C-section for me and another for my brother and she used to show us the small scar and tell "you came out of here, the doc cut my belly and I had you first and then your brother".

I believed this until I was 14, when (at school) they showed a video of a natural birth. I was totally scared and couldn't imagine how can a baby the size of a watermellon could come out of that small hole. I called my mom begging her to go home and throwed up for days.

Still scared of natural births!

I never had to ask where babies came from- I had it all figured out. Because they were different than fingers, it had something to do with your thumbs. Married people held hands- end of story. Then the mommy's tummy was like Jiffy Pop popcorn. Her belly button opened up and the baby came out. The baby was connected to the mommy by it's belly button. Then the mommy's belly button went back down. I was nine when I learned the truth and told my 11 year old friend she had been lied to.

I used to believe…

when i was about 15 years old i saw an comedian on tv which he was bitching about his wife who was spending too much money he said: 'with ten of these meals i can afford Yab Yum.'

I thought Yab Yum was a very expensive restaurant.

Later at an family dinner (it was my grandma's birthday) we went to a nice restaurant. Feeling quite the comedian i tried the same joke. My cousin started laughing at me.
But not in the way i thought he would....
turned out Yab Yum is a Brothel in amsterdam

I used to believe…

when i firts heard about women's condoms i though they had to be strached all aorund her. i think i was 9

I used to believe…

When a woman got pregnant, I knew about sperm and the egg joining but I wasn't sure how it got in the mom's tummy. So I just assume it just "magically" passed through her skin or something. I knew the mom and dad were naked in the bed or wherever but that's where my knowledge of it stopped. I know all things are possible with God but I guess some things are done the "old-fashioned way".

I remember when I was maybe 10 or 11 I heard the word "rape". I didn't know what it was, but I'd seen people talking about it on TV. I always thought that it was when a man stuck a knife up a girl's 'hole'. I was always terrified it was going to happen to me-not because of the emotional grief, but because it would hurt like heck! I'm 13 now, and know better. Haha.

I remember once I counted to 10 in Latin in kindergarten (for my own amusement, we weren't actually LEARNING to count to 10 in Latin.) Since the Latin for 6 is "sex", I remember some kids told me I said a "bad word" when I got to 6, and said "sex" in place of 6. I didn't understand what the big deal was, after all 6 is just a number so how could it be bad?! I thought these kids were just making up lies to scare me.

Also, in case yer wonderin' (not that you are), I was one of the many children who asked one of his parents how babies are made. They told me it's when "a mommy and daddy love each other very much". It never occurred to me they had to get naked in order to do this, and when I found that out at about age 10, I was pretty grossed out.

I used to believe…

when i was born i was a difficult birth and i came out rear first. one day when i was old enough to wonder about such things, i asked my mother about my birth, she told me that the doctors had to pull me out with forceps. for years after that i wejt round telling everyone i had been given FALSE HIPS :)

i used to think that when a baby was ready to be born, the doctor pulled it out through the mother's bellybutton. kind of like how a clown pulled tied-together scarves out of their pocket or sleeve.

I used to believe…

When I was young my mom made up different words for many things in my life. I was told that girls had mooneys and boys had nooneys. I remember going to school and somehow it came into conversation with my friends about mooneys. I was quite surprised that they had never heard of that word. It took me a while to figure out it was not the correct term.

For a joke my family and I continued to use the terms. When I was a teenager my mom would threaten me to behave or she would cut my mooney off!

It kind of backfired when my older sister phoned home to tell us that she had met a man and it was quite serious. When she told us that his last name was Mooney we completely lost control. My mom and I laughed so hard that we could not get off the kitchen floor for at least two hours! My poor sister, what are the chances the man she would fall in love with would have that name!

They have now been married for ten years and she still can't bring herself to tell him the story! It's our family secret.

I used to believe…

Well, when I was little, before I knew that you had t o have sex to make a baby, but after I knew about the pregnancy concept, I thought that if you were older that 13, you could get pregnant for no reason. Then some perv at school told me what sex was and how you got pregnant from it. So I knew you had to have sex to make a baby, but I also thought it could randomly happen. I also thought that every time you had sex, you would HAVE to get pregnant.

I thought pee-nis was pen-iss because if the PEN ISLAND joke.

I used to believe, back in elementary school, that in order for a guy to get a girl pregnant, he had to PEE in her!!! I apparently wasn't paying attention in sex-ed...

I used to beleive that if you wore a pad, you would automatically get your period, because on the box it said" pulls fluids away quickly" I remember putting one on and then feeling something leaking out of me.... turns out i had just peed my pad.