sex

I used to believe…

My little sis (9), a few weeks ago, was watching about a salon. suddenly, after watching getting his hair blown dry, she spurted out: "He's getting a blowjob!" and turned to my dad as if he were to say good girl. lol

I used to believe…

When i was younger, about 5yrs old, i came out of the shower and turned to my dad. i was really worried, apparently i turned to my dad and said: "Dad! help! my winky is straight and strong!"

i'm 13 now and he won't let me live it down.

I used to believe…

When I was younger I sneaked a read at a very old book on sex my aunt had in her garage (it was published in the '30's) It said that masturbation could lead to insanity, and that it could be detected in the urine. I was scared to death when my doctor asked for a urine sample before my appendectomy. Parents: Let's don't fill our kids with such garbage!

i remeber when i was about 5 thinking that a cesarian was like a jigsaw.... they would cut out bits of ur stomach, get the baby out, then put the bits bak together again..... i had no idea wat the real thing was really like!!

I used to believe that when a man and woman slept in the same bed, that sperm would sneak out of the man's peen and creep across the bedsheets and into the woman's vagina, and that was how women got pregnant. I pictured the sperm to be about a half inch long with 4 little feet and really smirky looks on their faces.

I used to believe…

Right up until I was 14 or 15 I thought a blow job consisted of blowing air onto the penis. I was set straight by the popular girls at school...... in front of everyone.

I had asked my Mom where babies came from. She responded that a Mom and a Dad made a baby out of an egg. I wasn't able to pry the facts out of her for months; in the mean time I assumed that mom and dad went to an Egg Factory and assembled eggs (which closely represented Mr. Potato Heads) together... Daddy added his pieces, and Mommy added hers...

i remember being in my parents room, i must have been around 7 or 8 at the time, and i came across a box of tampons. so i went through the whole box and opened and cut the strings off of every single one. then she had to sit me down and explain what they were to me.

I used to believe…

When my brother was 5, he and our cousin went into the boy's bathroom at a gas station. Our cousin (who was 8 at the time) told my brother that the condom dispensing machine on the wall sold lottery tickets. Well, my brother wasn't going to miss out on winning the lottery! So he bought a "ticket" and ran out of the bathroom smiling saying "I'm going to win the lottery!!"

I used to beleive when somebody said that they slept with someone I thought it just meant they slept and didn't do anything. So when I told someone I had slept with my ex-girlfreind (we did) she got very angry at me, but I didn't know why.

i used to think that after people had sex they died, so when my sister and i happened upon mom and dad in bed, they were pretending to be asleep when we opened the door, i started crying and convinced my sister they died.

she started screaming and crying then we ran around the house freaking out until my mom miraculously came back to life wearing a bath robe and calmed us down...my sister still kicks me for it.

I used to believe…

For the longest time, I thought "being a virgin" had to do with being the Virgin Mary, which sounded way too girly for a kid like me. So when I was asked if I was a virgin, I proudly said that I wasn't. When I was then asked who I had lost my virginity to, I thought long and hard about the manliest thing to say. "My dad" was what I came up with.

I used to believe…

For some reason until I was a teen I thought not every man had a penis. Some were lucky to have them and some just had hair there and nothing else. Now I'm thinking that the idea could be from censored R-rated movies.

I used to believe…

Once, at fifth grade party the other guys were talking about masturating and blow jobs. Not wanting to be left out of the conversation I told them that I too had gotten a blow job before. At this time I thought blow job meant erection. They proceeded to ask me who gave me one and laughed when I told them.

I used to believe…

When I was eight was begging my older brother to tell me what sex was. The nine year old girl from accross the street heard my plight and whispered it in my ear when my nrother wasn't looking. For about two years I thought sex was a man and is wife lying naked in bed together.*

*they had to be under the covers and sleeping.

I used to believe…

My daghter got very curious about how babies get in the mommys tummy. She was not satisfied with the safe answers I was providing. So I gave her a slightly technical but edited version of how it startes to grow in the mommy. I told her mommys have very small eggs inside them, and that daddys put a lot of very small sperm inside the mommy that have a race and swim to the egg. Who ever gets there first goes in the egg, and startes growing into a baby. She seemed satisfied with the answer. I asked if she had any questions and she replyed No. about a week later we were going to the store just me and her. She was very quiet and I asked her what she was thinking. She said," Moma does sperms got faces?" I replyed "No honey why?" She then asked me how they know how to get to the egg if they can not see where they are going. I replyed, "They just know." I was trying so hard not to laugh.

i used to believe that the condiments isle in the grocery store was where the condoms where stocked. i avoided that isle with my mother for years fearing the ever dreaded sex talk, right there in the grocery.as memory serves, i was five years old at the time.

I used to believe…

My 6 year old cousin was watching TV when our nana left the room, and I went to the bathroom. When I came back, my cousin was in the kitchen telling nana that people were pulling a baby out of a woman's butt. She had changed the channel to TLC, and A Baby Story was on. Needless to say, nana was confused.