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My brother and I were watching TV (about 7 and 5 at the time) when a condom commercial came on.I remember my mom rushing from the kitchen to the living room to see if we had any questions. After a few minutes she asked us if we knew what a condom was. I said that it's something the boy puts on when he kisses a girl so they won't get sick. When she turned to my brother he said:"Don't worry mom! I'll wear it all over my body so I'll be safe even if the girl touches my hand!!!"
When I was 11, my best friend told me that lesbians have sex with condoms filled with cheese. I eventually realized that this was not a common practice of any sexual orientation and I have often wondered where she obtained this information in the first place.
I used to believe that sex was only for reproduction, and that condoms were a way to prevent AIDS without preventing conception. A filter would let the sperm through, but not the virus.
I found a box of condoms in a bag my parents had brought home from the drug store. I confronted Mom about it, demanding to know which one of them had AIDS and why they wanted a new baby anyway.
She told me the condoms were a joke gift for their friends and didn't correct any of my confusion.
when i was about 5 or 6 my friend jason (who was probably about 10 or 11) i told me that condoms "stopped women having babies" when i asked him about one that was lying in the gutter.
for a good few years this explanation was interpreted by me as meaning that pregnant women used condoms to stop themselves giving birth by inserting one into their vagina and the condom somehow "catching" the baby. i thought it made sense, ie. if they were out shopping and having a baby was inconvenient, pop one in, problem solved.
I used to beleive a condom was to prevent you from peeing inside the woman, which would cause her to inflate.
I can still remember my Dad shouting at my brother to hide his porno mags properly in his bedroom and get rid of those dirty "french letters" (condoms). I spent ages trying to figure out who was writing to my brother from France !
I used to believe that condoms were devices that elderly men donned, before enjoying a few pints at the pub, to soak up any urine leakage.
That was because my dad told me so.
When I was five, my three year old brother and I had found our father's box of special ballons, in his dresser. One day, Mom seemed particularily worried and frazzled, and announced that the banker was coming to meet with our family about backing us with a loan to get us through a rough season. It was essential that the house be clean and us children scrubbed, and on our best behavior. Given there were six of us, Mom lost track and my brother and I were on our own, as usual. We decided to help and decorated the kitchen and living room with Dad's Special Ballons while he and Mom showed the Banker around the farm before lunch. The adults didn't notice our hard work, until after they had come in, sat down and in the middle of grace my mother let out a scream that could be heard, I am sure, miles away.
When I was younger (about ten), my parents (they were bikers at the time) used to take me to this bar on the weekends with them, there was a video game area I could play in with the other kids. In the bathroom they had a condom dispenser with one product called a "french tickler". I thought this was the funniest thing, but had no idea what it was. When Christmas rolled around, I was in our living room with my parents and older brother. We were listening to holiday music, and I was singing along to the Twelve Days of Christmas. Instead of saying "Three french hens.", I thought it would be funny to blurt out "Three french ticklers!" My brother started laughing, and I was grounded without any explanation of what a french tickler was.
Well when I was little around the age of 6 me and my friend we were so creative with making stuff, we would always make things for our barbies. Well it was "prom night" for the barbies and we needed music, so I was about to put a tape in when the casset had a package in it(My brother would hide stuff in my room,who thinks to look in a little girls room, right!?). I was surprised, so we put it aside and after the "prom" the barbies all went camping thats when i got bored sicne my friend was driving the barbies, so i opened the small package, out came what i believed was a "sleeping bag" for my barbie! I was so excited we used it for the camping trip but only for about 10 mins when my brother came to check on us. He saw what we had and what we were doing and he just laughed. It was explained later to me what it was. My friend's have an hilarious fit everytime I tell them my incident with condoms.
In Sex Ed. in 5th grade, one day someone mentioned condoms, and the teacher said she would bring one in tomorrow.
The next day, the girl in our class who had been held back was telling everyone about how last year the condom had "popped off" the cucumber being used fot the demonstration. I, being innocent and having no idea what a condom was, immediately assumed it was some sort of explosive device.
When the teacher begain the demonstration, I inched my chair backwards to avoid being caught in the line of fire. When I reallized what a condom actually was, I felt silly.
The funny thing is, I was in another sex ed. class a few years later and, when we were given a condom demonstration again, I found I was still afraid of them.
when i was about eight my brother showed me a condom and he blew it up. so ofcourse i thought it was a balloon
and when he gave it to me i took it into my dad and said look a balloon.
He was so embarresed when he had to explain to me what it was. I really hated my brother after that.
I used to masturbate when I was real young (I guess I didn't really know what it was, something to do with sex, and it felt good) and when I first learned about AIDS and HIV, and that you could catch it without using condoms I freaked, thinking that *I* might have AIDS cos I had "sex" or whatever and didn't use protection! Now of course I know all about it... I think....
When I was younger I was watching the first Austin Powers and I asked my mom what a condom was. She told me it was a balloon that a man puts on his tool to keep the woman from getting pregnant. Little did I know this "balloon" wasn't supposed to be inflated. Wow was that naive. For years I wondered how a man fit his tool in a woman with a big balloon on it.
my neighbor and i were playing barbie dolls at her house. i only had a couple, and only one ken, so we always played with her ken dolls. my barbie and her barbie were talking because they were about to go out on "dates" with some foxy kens, and her doll asked me if i had "taken my condoms yet". i had no idea what she was talking about, so she told me that condoms were pills you had to take before you went on dates. i really didnt think much of this...
when i was younger i found a condom and came to the comnclusion that it was used as a raincoat by caterpillars.
I watched a lot of cartoons as a kid, and some of the older cartoons make references to "rubbers." I always thought they meant rubber galoshes, so when a cousin finally explained that men wore rubbers during sex, I couldn't help but wonder what use galoshes were.
Some moron stuck an unwrapped, still rolled condom in my lunch box in middle school. I knew what they were, theoretically, but didn't realize they came lubricated. I concluded that this one, being all slimy, was used. Along with being completely grossed out, I decided that guys must have to roll them back off like pantyhose when they were done. I didn't get straightened out on this until almost my 21st birthday. :)
I had a teenage cousin that I thought was the coolest guy in the world. He had a poster on the back of his door showing a woman in a nurses uniform holding an unrolled condom (I think it was an ad poster to convince people to use condoms).
Anyway, my mother is a nurse and I immediately thought that to use a condom it had to be put on you by a nurse!
Once, as a teenager I had my cousins over. As they were snooping in my room they found a few condoms I had picked up from a concert earlier in the year. My 9 year old cousin looked at it puzzlingly and said " OH, I know what these are! These are those wee-wee protectors aren't they? To hold in the white stuff?" I couldn't help but laugh.