i used to believe

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condoms

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i used to believe that the condiments isle in the grocery store was where the condoms where stocked. i avoided that isle with my mother for years fearing the ever dreaded sex talk, right there in the grocery.as memory serves, i was five years old at the time.

susie q
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When my brother was 5, he and our cousin went into the boy's bathroom at a gas station. Our cousin (who was 8 at the time) told my brother that the condom dispensing machine on the wall sold lottery tickets. Well, my brother wasn't going to miss out on winning the lottery! So he bought a "ticket" and ran out of the bathroom smiling saying "I'm going to win the lottery!!"

JAS
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I was quite young when I found a small, wet baloon like thing on my driveway near the road. I was so happy to bring it inside to show my mom thinking it was a baloon.

Zulban
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When I was 8 I was a pretty smart child. I understood almost everything and I knew alot about sex and all that. I overheard people talkin bout putting condoms on their cocks. I thought they meant chickens and supposed it was somethin like an umbrella. when my mum asked me infront of a very jelaous cousin whatīs a condom I said: Itīs a chickens umbrella.

Bambita, the rain girl
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I used to beleive my name was condom. When my sister taught me how to spell my name she spelt it c-o-n-d-o-m. When I got lost in the supermarket, I wrote my name on a piece of paper and asked the man to put a call out for my mother. Needless to say he thought I was joking.

Dawn Robertson
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when i was about 6-7 i found a condom in my bed and i asked my mom what it is she told me that it was something you put on your nose when your playing dress ups so you can look like an elephant. so about a week later me and two friends were playing dress ups at one of their houses. i wanted to have the best dress up so i went and asked my friends mom for a condom. i think her mom talked to mine about that cos not long after she told me what it is

embarassed
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One day my friend and I snuck into the boys bathroom. There wa a condom machine so we each put in a dollar and got our condoms. After we got them, we read packet and we saw that they were flavored, but we had no clue what they were. My brave friend opened up the little packet, took a lick, and said "this is good!" so we both came out of the bathroom sucking on them and our mothers caught us. hehe.

Damn Condoms
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I used to think "condom" was short for "condominium", so one day I told my mom that I wanted to live in a condom when I grew up.

Kourtney
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When I was little, I was taught by my fouth grade teacher that if I didn't know what a work ment to annalyze it, and try to figure out what it meant from that.

Well one day, my friend Mercedes asked me what a condom was. She'd over heard her parents the night before, but was too embarrased to tell me.

So we sat down, and used our teachers method to try and figure out what it ment. This is what we came up with.

Con- A crook, robber, theif. Like A girl named Natasha in our class.

Dom - We miss spelled this and thought it was Dumb... so - an idiot, someone with no sense, someone who's stupid.

So when we but it together we ened up with this:

Comdon: A stupid crook!

The next day, I got into a big fight with that Natasha girl. So, I thought I would be smart and yelled. 'NATASHA YOUR A CONDOM!'

Lets just say lunchtime wasn't spent outside that day...

Ketrina
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i used to think that condoms where baloons, when I found one under my parents bed I took it to school and blew it up in front of the class! I was13

Oh my gosh
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i used to think that condoms were gum and i tried to buy one once when i was about 8!

silly
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I used to take my dad's condoms thinking they were balloons. I'd blow them up and wonder why they tasted so bad. The most awkward thing was when my 15 year old cousin came by and I took him to blow up condoms.

Odd lil Girl
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when my brother and i were kids (around 8 yrs old), there used to be this keychain in our home's odds and ends drawer that interested us so. there was a condom inside the clear plastic with the words, "break in case of emergency." one time, my brother did finally break it and showed it to me. when my mom saw the unwrapped condom, she had my dad deal with the situation. first my dad asked us what we thought a condom was for. my answer: it's a magic barf bag with the same purpose as the ones you see in the pocket in front of your seat in an airplane. my brother's idea: some kind of magical oxygen mask which people with asthma use just like the brown paper bag. notice how we both thought it was magical? i hated knowing what a condom really was for afterwards.

Anon
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I used to believe that rubber gloves were made when some guy stuck his hand into a giant vat of melted rubber/wax. So I was surprised at who would be dumb enough to want to make condoms.

Hayabusa
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I used to beleive condoms were pills, until I saw an outline of one in a book about growing up, EWW!

Condoms r pills... right?
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When i was a kid, fishing with my dad on lake invermere, i caught a used condom. Not knowing what it was, I went to grab it... My dad immediately caught my hand and firmly told me not to touch it. He got a little flustered when i asked why, as he didnt want to tell me about sex.
so he euphamised it. he started off the story with "Kevin, when a mommy fish and a daddy fish love each other very much they want to express that love, sometimes without making baby fish..." and I blurted out "OH! So those come from fish?"
Not wanting to say any more he said "Yes, Kevin, those come from fish but they are dirty so dont touch them."
when I got a little older and started sex-ed in school a teacher held up a condom and asked if anyone knew what it was. Needless to say i was severely embarassed that day!

Kevin
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I use to believe that condoms was gum...my brother had packs of it in his drawers and i use to take it out the wrapper and chew on it..and they were flavored too..so it tasted good.sometimes they werent in a packet and i ate them anyways...my mom saw me one day and screamed saying that i had "sperm" in my mouth..i had no idea what that was so i said "no mommy i have gum in my mouth"..i found out everything later on...my brother "Reused" condoms...im scarred for life.

Rosemary
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okay this is weird. I thought that that since people are constantly talking about the infamous "put the condom on the banana," the banana peel was the condom.
Yeah.
I wouldn't eat bananas for 3 year.

strange
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my mom told me what condoms were about a year before she gave me the talk. though she said nothing about protecting from having babies. she just said diseases. after a long while of thinking, i came up with that people put them on their toungues when they're kissing.

dessy
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when i was a little girl, i thought condoms were a lot more complex because of how important the media made condoms sound
I thought a condom was a little machine guys slid on that emitted electrical waves to prevent the sperm from coming out.
imagine my surprise the first time i actually saw one, i was disappointed in the lack of imagine the condom makers had.

JoeyGirl
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