skip the menu

sex: giving birth

747 beliefs

the best of giving birth

I used to think babies where born naked because their mothers were too lazy to eat clothes for them to wear

Anon

When I was a very little girl, my grandmother (as I'm sure many Southern grandmothers have done) told me that if I ate the seeds of a watermelon I would have a baby. This perplexed me a lot. I wanted another baby (I'm an only child), but I didn't think that *I* was the one who should be having it. Furthermore, I didn't yet understand that girls had a place for something other than pee and poo. I thought that my vagina was just place where my pee came out, and therefore, that couldn't be the place where a baby would come from. My bottom couldn't be it, either, that was just even more gross. So after *MUCH* thinking, I finally came to the conclusion that mommy's must have their babies shoot out of their mouths. It was the only other opening that I could think of at the time, and this, along with my grandmother's story about the watermelon seeds, seemed like a logical conclusion at the time... Unfortunately, I saw that alternative as somewhat terrifying, and there was a period of time during which I swore to myself that I would never have kids. :O)

— Hannah's Mommy

pick of the bunch

I used to believe…

That you could give birth to what ever you chose (i.e a girl, a boy, twins, triplets)

— Krista Durling

My parents used to tell me babies came from under a gooseberry bush.

When I was four they told me I was going to get a brother or sister.

I'd run down our garden first thing every morning to see if the baby had arrived yet!

Anon

One of my friends, until he took a sex ed class in the sixth grade, believed that a baby's gender was determined by how long the doctor cut his/her umblical cord.

— Scott

When I was little I heard stories about a rock exploding and out comes a baby. So I always had this idea that babies are hidden in objects around us: desks, chairs, computers, trees... and when they explode, a baby would come out from it. I remember my mom told me about how she gave birth to me...but somehow, at that time, I had mistaken her meaning, because I always thought that I was a baby from a toilet!!~

— Fred

pick of the bunch

When I was very young, I thought babies were born out of their mother's armpit. No idea how I came to that conclusion....

— Jay

When I found out that only women can have babies, I used to think that a baby could just come out any time I went to the bathroom. Whenever I sat down, I would think, "I hope this isn't the time the baby comes."

Anon

My first grade art teacher was pregnant, and after she left school to have the baby, some other girls and I found out somehow that it had been a 'difficult birth.' We all knew the facts of life, but one smartypants wisely told us that there were two ways to have a baby, and something about the baby 'coming out the wrong way'. Not being able to imagine anything like a cesarian and using perfect little kid logic, we decided that this meant that you could have a baby vaginally, or anally, anal birth being especially bad–like 10 times worse than having to take a really big dump.

— butt baby

pick of the bunch

When I was very small, I believed that babies were born with clothes on, and it was the clothing that told you whether or not you had a baby boy or a baby girl.

— Lisa

pick of the bunch

i used to believe girls come out of their mother's head and boys come out of their father's head. i believed that till i was 7.

Anon

Until I was five or six, I thought that you gave birth from a birthmark. I always wondered how it was possible that I came out of my mother's ankle.

— DB

When I was little, my mom told me that she pooped me out in the toilet.

Anon

I used to believe that women gave birth by pooping out the baby when they went to the toilet and the babies were crying because it smelled.

— Carmen

I used to believe that a pregnant woman could be pregnant again before giving birth, so I wondered if the second baby could be born before the previous one.

— Adriana

when i was 4, my mom was pregnant with my little brother. i remember once, she was rubbing her big belly saying " wake up, austin! wake up!" For some reason, i imagined her belly being divided into 4 compartments, and in 1 of them (i even remember where it was! the top left compartment!) was a little fox in a fox den sleeping on a bed, while another fox was saying "wake up austin!" well, later, when my mom went into labor, my grandma stayed home with us. she kept saying, "Austin's coming! Austin's coming!" I was sooooo scared, cuz I thought a fox was gonna be coming, and wasn't sure if it would eat me or not! I still remember the day of his birth, and my surprise when a baby came instead :)

— luv

When I was really little I used to believe that all babies were born on Labor Day and then were assigned an actual birthday....not only that but I also believed babies came out of the bellybutton

— Mari K

When my little brother was little (about 5) he asked my dad where babies came from. Dad told him that they come out of the mother through the birth canal. Later on that day dad told my brother to tell my mother what he had learned about babies that day. He said that daddy told him that babies come from the "baby corral".

— Shannon

when i was old enough,mum told me how much i weighed when i was born - which was 7lb 10. i thought thats how much mum had to pay for me.

— Leanne

When I was wee, I used to think that Mums gave birth to boys (because i was a boy) and Dads gave birth to girls

— TP

When I was little I believed that when you were ready to give birth your stomach would just open up and the baby would fall out. Then when the baby came out your stomach would go back to normal. Then when I was in safeway with my mom one day I saw a book on giving birth and i flipped it open and there was picture of a baby crowning! I was so disgusted and ran and told my mom what I saw. She asked me how I thought it happend, and I told her. She couldn't stop laughing.

Anon

page 4 of 38

← start from the beginning