giving birth

when i was little and not as smart as i am now, I was under the impression there were two types of birth. Those which you had through your stomach (near enough right on this one) and the other through slicing open the crook in your arm............i havent a clue how i dreamt up that one.

CAz

When my mom was pregnant with my little brother my mom and dad were standing in the kitchen playing around and my dad joked that he would punch my mom on the stomach and make the baby pop out. "Where does the baby pop out from?" I asked my mom and she said "A little trap door." For many years later I beleived that women had a cellar door with hinges and a ring to pull that would pop open and dump the baby out.

Sam

My Mom used to talk about the child that she lost before I was born, so everytime we went out I was really close to them just in case.

Juan

I found out about sex when I was 12, but I remained unclear on the actual birth process until I was 17 or 18. I believed the baby would come out the mom's butt. I was always terrified by this since I thought a 9 month pregnant mother might go to poop but accidentally plop the baby into the toilet.

Joel

my mother was frustrated with me asking how babies were made until she finally sat me down and tried to explain it. She said that when a man and a woman love each other very much and have been married for a long time they go to bed, take off all of their clothes and then ....make love.... then nine months later a baby comes out. (the obvious questions that surrounded what "make love" meant seemed unimportant at the time.) What I could not figure out is HOW the baby came out. My mom told me that when it was time the woman "just knew" and she would push. I asked her if it was like going number two and she said yes. I was satisfied with that answer and she was relieved. But for the next several years I would check the toilet every time she or I had gone to see if there would be a baby in the bowl.

Clare

When I was little, I was SO puzzled about how babies were born. I then made the theory that women gave birth through their mouths.
...I never wanted to have children after that [EVER.] I kept thinking I would die because I couldn't breathe. Then when I found out how it actually happens, I screamed and, still, didn't ever want to have children.

Myou

When I was little, I thought that, when women went in to have a baby, a giant magnet would come down and pull the baby out of her stomach

Anon

In sixth grade somehow the topic of babies came up. My teacher was saying something about how the father had to catch the baby when a boy named Ralph raised his hand.

"Yes?" Said the teacher.

"Why does the dad have to catch it?"

The teacher looked at him kind of puzzed for a moment, and before he could answer Ralph continued--

"Does it shoot out like a football or something?"

Katie

I was the only child until my younger sister came along when I was two. I knew that she had come form mommy. Oddly enough, however, I held the belief that my two boy cousins had come from my uncle. In my mind girls *obviously* came from mommies and boys came from daddies. I never got a brother so it wasn't until a few years later that my mom set me straight about it. I find it interesting that I can still recall this childhood theory and distinctly remember believing it.

Anonymous

When I was little I asked to see where the water broke in my sister's house days after she had her first child thinking a pipe burst somewhere in the house

Anon

I thought haveing a baby had to come out the stomach and women needed to go to the hospital to get an incision to let it come out yep to my surprise when i found out where it really comes out

alicia

I used to think that giving birth was not passing a baby though the birth canal, but waiting until the point where the mother's skin covering her stomach liquefied and bubbled until the baby emerged from the depths. Kinda like a tar pit.

Carrie

I used to believe that babies came out of your belly button. What else could they possibly be for?

Andrea

when i was young, i thought that when a baby was born, god calls us on the phone and informs usto come and pick him up!

Aaiz Khan

Until I was 10, I used to believe that babies came out by clawing their way out of women's abdomens. Like a baby chick pecking its way out of an egg... or like the Alien movies

Duffy

I am a triplet, and my parents had told us pretty early where babies come from. So when I was very little, I used to believe, even though I couldn't remember it anymore, that inside my mother's stomach it was like in a red cave with tiny furniture. I though that my sibblings and I had lived in there until it got so cramped that the doctors took us out.

Anon

For the longest time I thought that a "C section" was a section of the hospital that was reserved for women who were giving birth.

Rachel

I used to think that babies came out of Mum's mouth. This was logical, as I knew they grew in Mum's tummy, and the only connection between the outside world and Mum's tummy that I knew about was the mouth. My brother corrected me on this one, he told me babies came out of Mum's butt!

Sean

I use to think taht anyone could get pregnant and have a baby. So one day I decided that my mom gave birth to my dad and my dad gave birth to my sister, my sister gave birth to my brother (even though he was the oldest), and my brother gave birth to me. It made me happy to think my brother was my life giver... But thinking back.. That bit is VERY scary.

Cari

When I was little I read a Far Side comic, in which the doctor cuts the umbilical cord and the baby deflates and shoots across the room like a balloon. I used to believe that without proper care in removal of the cord, this could actually happen.

Yasuo