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When I was young I didn't know about amniotic sacs or mucus plugs or all that other fancy stuff that keeps the baby inside the womb. What I was told, was that you simply had to push the baby out. I used to think that if you touched a pregnant woman's stomach, it would be considered "pushing" her baby out, and it would come tumbling right out! I was always afraid to touch my mom when she was pregnant with my younger sister for fear of a miscarriage.
i thought kids were born by planting a seed in a magical flawer and waiting for 10 mounths for it to grow. in the 10 mounths the mother will carry the flower where ever she goes until it's old enough to walk.
i used to believe girls laid eggs
I had a very sophisticated idea of how babies got here when I was 7.
Every baby starts as a vegetable. You can tell what veggie people's mommies' ate to get them by what they looked like. I had been a string bean and other people were peas and others yet carrots and celery, etc. This only happens when the mommy eats the vegetable and is in love with a daddy and they decide they want a baby.
And I proceded to tell everyone who'd listen and one evening took all my 16 year old sister's male friends one by one in private and told them exactly how they came to be. Needless to say, she was mortified. What veggie were YOU?
The ironic thing is I always hated vegetables. lol
When I was very young, another little boy that I was playing with, told me that girls had teeth "down there". Of course I believed him, and therefore when I became a teen, I was afraid of becoming intimate with girls. Later on I finally realized this wasn't true, but now I'm gay.
I used to think that all animals were compatible with each other, so if you somehow managed to mate with a dog you would have puppies! I always fantasized ways that I could have baby panthers, because that would have been so cool..
Everyone always says that my sister takes after my mom, and I take after my dad. So my parents used to tell me that my mom had my sister, and my dad had me! It made perfect sense, too, because it seemed like he was still carrying some weight from the pregnancy!
I used to believe that women's vaginas were located on the front of their pelvis and that a man could penetrate, and have sex, just by walking forward into her and then thrusting. I didn't know that the vagina opening was actually between the legs. Then, I believed that a man impregnated a woman by urinating into her vagina and that the foam one sees while peeing was actually sperm.
My Dad always used to refer to babies coming from " The Gooseberry patch"
I caught myself on many occasions looking under neath our gooseberry plant for babies.
When I was a pre-teen my mother gave me the "talk" about the birds and the bees by reading to me a book by Dr. James Dobson, a minister. He explained that babies were made by a husband and a wife that cared very much for each other by lying down together in a bed, very close until they feel a tingling sensation. I believe that for such a long time...he was right about the beginning and then end, but he left out how fun it was to get from point A to point B! That is a book that I will never get my daughters!
To this day, I have no idea where this particular belief of mine came from, except that it was a sudden theory that came to me when I was sitting in the playground in 3rd grade. There was a girl whose older sister had told her what sex was and the girl was so excited that she knew a "secret," so she refused to tell any of us what it was.
So, of course, I was mystified and I sat in the playground for twenty minutes, trying to figure it out. Somehow I came to this conclusion:
Sex was when a man and a woman went to a restuarant and had a tea party, just the two of them. The girl would giggle a lot and the guy had to smile for one hour straight and then, when things went well, they got to drink very delicious tea. And then, -poof-, they'd look under the table and there'd be a small child there.
I was the oldest of two children in my family. When I was four I was told that my mom and new brother were coming home from the hospital. So I thought that's where babies were made. I thought it was done in an operating room with a doctor supervising the whole procedure. When I was around eight I finally realized this wasn't so but I did ask my Mother one question, " Mommy,
does it feel good when you make a baby?"
She let out a little giggle and said "why yes it does".
A teacher I know told me this one: she had a female student who never heard that women could produce milk and nurse babies. When the student put two-and-two together and finally understood, she blurted out, dumbfounded "LIKE COWS???"
The kicker (and I'm not lying here) -- she teaches pre-med students in COLLEGE!
I used to believe that when a man and woman had sex one of the man's balls went into the woman and the baby grew from it. Therefore I thought you could only have 2 kids. I thought that people that had more than 2 kids had stolen/bought one from someone else.
I used to believe you ordered babies from Montgomery Ward catalog. My best friend's mother had a baby, so our family went over to see them. While there, I asked my mother if she would order us a baby from the catalog. I couldn't understand why everyone was laughing at me.
When I got kissed by a boy the first time (at 8 years old) I didn't know you had to have sex to get pregnant. My mom was pregnant with my brother then, and so I figured that was how she got pregnant. So, for weeks and weeks I worried that my belly was going to pooch out like hers and that she would know a boy had kissed me! It wasn't until I asked her how many times you had to kiss a boy before you got pregnant that she explained the *real* birds and bees to me!
When I was little I used to believe that my daddy gave my mom a cookie that he made to look exactly like me. And then my mommy ate the cookie and I became a baby in her stomach. And then she pooped me out and I was born.
When i was younger i used to think that i was a boy and then my mum sta me down and said to me that a baby was born out of the gooseberry bush and i wasn't until i started secondary school i realised!.......
When I was young I used to believe that you could buy a baby from a catalogue. They always showed the babies in the coaches you could buy but I wanted the BABIES. I used to beg my mom to buy one. Instead of telling me you couldn't buy babies she just said, "I have enough with you and your brother!"
When I was about 7, I met a blonde woman who had a redheaded baby. After she left, I exclaimed to my mom that she must of stolen the baby. When my mom asked me why, I told her because the baby had red hair and the woman didn't. Therefore, in my mind there was no way that baby belonged to that woman. My mom tried to explain that children don't always have the same hair color as their parents. Which to an extent I believed because I was blonde and my mom a brunette but because redheads were so rare to me, I just "knew" that only two redheads could make a baby with red hair. I refused to believe otherwise.