sex: reproduction

I thought once a woman got married, she would just randomly get pregnant every now and then, and she would have to either have the baby (painful) or swallow a pill to have an abortion (this was long before RU-486 was invented). I hated swallowing pills, so I was glad I wasn't a woman.

When my brother was about 3 years old, about the same time my mother was pregnant with me, he announced to my mother that when he grew he was going to 'grow a baby in his tummy just like her'. She was heartbroken having to explain to him that only girls can do that.

I had a very close friend growing up who did not belive in human reproduction at all. she thought that you could have a baby only if you prayed hard enough and were a good person. I pointed out that there were a lot of non-Christians who were still able to reproduce.

I used to believe that when a mommy and a daddy wanted to have sex, they would get naked together and kiss a lot and the magic would flow from the daddy into the mommy through the kiss and make a baby in the mommy's stomach, then nine months later the baby would come out of the mommy's vagina. but i also believed that if the mommy didnt want the baby just yet she could put it back until later. And the mother could do that whenever she wanted until the baby was too big to fit in her stomach anymore.

then when i was like six, i kissed this boy behind a garbage can and and i was like "oh yeah, i had sex!"

i used to think that woman would get pregnant when a man would put his mouth on the woman's vagina and spit into it. The spit would than transform into a baby. After spitting, the man would than blow air into the woman's uterus (as if it were a balloon) in order to give the baby air to breathe. I thought this was the only reason a woman was so fat when pregnant. I couldn't wait until i was older and got pregnant because i came up with the idea that I could simply have a plastic tube with one end up my vagina and the baby could breathe through the tube. That way i could avoid being fat. I felt incredibly stupid when i realized the truth. i had no idea about male anatomy back then.

When I was in third grade, for some reason most of my classmates still only knew the story of the stork or a very clean "birds and the bee's" so one day during class we were talking about birthdays and one of the girls in my class said "My birthday is on (some day) and thats the day the stork brought me home." And so being the enlightened child i was I raised my hand and was called on and said "No that's a lie, your parents had sex and thats how you were made" My parents got many a phone call from parents upset that their 3rd graders were coming home asking about sex.

I remember watching a Tarzan movie on TV when I was 4 or 5. Just before the commercial, Tarzan and Jane clasped hands and gazed into each others eyes; after the commercial, Jane was holding a baby. I figured that's how "it" was done. Months later, an older neighbour boy, laughing hysterically, set me straight.

one night, at story time when i was maybe 4 or 5, i asked my dad "the question" (que dramatic music). "where do babies come from?" my dad, being a book nerd, explained it to me as follows...

the female's book and the male's books come togther and the pages for a baby.

for the longest time i thought i would not be able to have babies, because i didnt own "that special book."

I know better now.

once i was watching to young kids. we had been outside catching ladybugs, and had a huge jar full of them. one of the kids started screaming. when i asked her what was wrong, she told me that there were two ladybugs that were fighting. she showed me the mating ladybugs and said "look they're tackling eachother".

When I used to ask my Mom where babies come from she used to tell me from God. That was fine but I would ask how they got into a mother's belly. She would say God put it there. Well I used to hear horror stories about labor and not want to go through the pain so at night I used to pray and say "Dear God, please don't put a baby in my belly, I don't want to go through that pain." Well since, I've learned and have a beatiful baby boy. Now I'm glad he put that baby in my belly!

When i was little, I used to think that sex was only a man and woman touching private parts. It made NO sense, until I figured out that the one thing goes into the other and THAT'S sex. LOL!

I used to believe as a kid that when your Mum got pregnant, the baby grew in her body standing upright. eg: The baby's legs grew in the Mother's legs and it's arms grew in the mother's Arms.

What makes it worse, I used to think that the baby could see out of the mother's eyes and that's how it knew where it's home and family was.... lol

when i was first introduced to asexual reproduction in grade school science class, i thought that it was possible for me to just become randomly pregnant. apparently my teacher didnt explain very well that it only occurs in simple plants and animals. i was terrified for weeks until i got the nerve to ask my mom about it!

When I was very young, another little boy that I was playing with, told me that girls had teeth "down there". Of course I believed him, and therefore when I became a teen, I was afraid of becoming intimate with girls. Later on I finally realized this wasn't true, but now I'm gay.

When my mom gave me 'the talk' I wasn't paying much attention. I thought she said that the man put his penis to the woman's nipple..and that was how I thought it was for several years.

When I was little (About 9 or 10), I believed that every time I peed the little bubbles in the toilet were sperm. I thought that they were already little babies with brains, and I would stick my head up to the toilet and tell them goodbye. I would wave to them as I flushed them down.

Not understanding that women could have children out of wed lock my brother once asked his Chinese friend who's mother had just had a baby but wasnt with the father "how much did you pay for your sister"

When i was 9, and just heard about sexual behaviour, I was told, and believed that having sex for one hour gave you one child. Having sex for two hours gave you twins