rude bits
Show most recent or highest rated first.page 11 of 65
< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 >
Once when i was little me and my parents pulled up to a sonic. my mom was ordering chedder peppers, but my dad actually mispronounced it and said "chedder peckers". they began to crack up so i figured it was a joke of some sort. Afterwards we went to church and my mom and I were talking to the pastor. She told him we went to sonic and i chimed in loudly saying "yeah! she ate chedder peckers!!"
When I was younger, I didn't know there's such a thing as testicles - I thought males only have penises and nothing else.
Now the first shock: I'm a boy.
Then the second shock: I'M TELLING TRUTH!
top belief!
When i was little, I did not understand the concept of puberty, so I thought a girl's breasts would grow overnight. I was a modest child, so one day i said to my mother, "Mommy, will you promise me that you won't clap when my boobs grow?"
I used to think that everyone was born without a penis, and the boys grew penises if they were boys. That was up until I had a little brother. :D
top belief!
When I asked my mother if I would have more siblings, she explained that my father had an operation so she wouldn't get pregnant anymore. I assumed she had his penis cut off.
I use to think that penis' looked like wrinkly sausages because I would see my mom's friend's son naked when he was 4 or 5. I thought penis' looked like that forever. I also thought that balls were literally 2 separate balls hanging down behind the penis.
top belief!
I used to think that a vagina was called a regina. I always used to wonder why they would name the queen after one on a postbox
top belief!
When i was younger, about 5yrs old, i came out of the shower and turned to my dad. i was really worried, apparently i turned to my dad and said: "Dad! help! my winky is straight and strong!"
i'm 13 now and he won't let me live it down.
When I was younger I sneaked a read at a very old book on sex my aunt had in her garage (it was published in the '30's) It said that masturbation could lead to insanity, and that it could be detected in the urine. I was scared to death when my doctor asked for a urine sample before my appendectomy. Parents: Let's don't fill our kids with such garbage!
top belief!
For some reason until I was a teen I thought not every man had a penis. Some were lucky to have them and some just had hair there and nothing else. Now I'm thinking that the idea could be from censored R-rated movies.
top belief!
Until I was 9, I was absolutely convinced that I had a penis [I'm a girl]. Now, I had seen naked babies before, so I knew that mine wasn't in my crotch. I thought I had a secret, hidden penis somewhere, and if I could just find it I'd be able to play with the boys and not be laughed at.
I could never understand why people would laugh so hard when I told them that I DID have a penis, I just lost it and needed to find it again! After all, they were girls and so had secret penises, too- they obviously just weren't looking hard enough!
top belief!
When I was little, instead of getting the 'sex talk' my mum gave me a brief overview and then gave me a book on the subject. I read the word vagina as 'virginia' and for many years I felt very sorry for girls called that because it was a supposedly 'dirty' word (I was a very puritanical little kid).
Years later I found out the real way of pronouncing vagina, but when I was about eleven in a class presentation on sex for some reason I mispronounced it again as Virginia. Took me a long time to live that one down...
top belief!
Until he was a bloomin' nine year old, my cousin believed that his penis would fall off one day. So, thinking he was hilarious, my uncle, during a family party, dropped a chicken sausage (the cocktail type) on the pretty clean floor, and went, "Oh my God! (Inserts cousin's name), that's your dick, ain't it?" My cousin instantly burst out crying, as my uncle casually picked up the sausage and ate it.
He's 12 now, and I think he's still afraid of losing an important part of the male anatomy, since he takes only a minute (literally) to enter the toilet, pee, wash his hands and exit.
My husbsand told me that when he was younger he thought girls and boys had the same "parts" but the only difference was, that the girls own was really really small, so he used to laugh at them (to himself) about their small "parts". How funny is that! (LOL) I still pick on him about it!
When I was a kid, I believed that if a girl wore boys' underwear, she'd grow a penis. Actually, that belief was only TRULY refuted a few weeks ago, by my (female) friend who likes to wear Batman Underoos....according to her, she's been wearing them for years, and still hasn't noticed anything growing down there, so it *must* be safe, lol.
one day in school we were learning about sandwich toppings. later that day i went out to eat and was surprised to see one of the the toppings we had learned about-sprouts. i wanted to point it out to my parents so i said oh look sperms!
top belief!
Like many men I started getting erections while I was still young. As a child, this scared and confused me and, for some reason, I used to believe that if you poured water on it, it would shrink back down. I don't know how I came up with this.
I used to think that a mans penis was shiny, bit like a sausage skin only found out it wasn't when i saw someone's on the net when i was 13. How dumb can u get lol?
top belief!
My brother and sister are two years apart, my sister being eldest.
When my brother was being potty-trained, he could not understand why my sister had a much easier time of it.
one of these times [which they are teased mercilessly for] my sister patted my brother on the back and assured him.
"Don't worry, it'll fall off someday. Mine did!"
top belief!
I grew up a tomboy, surrounded by mostly guy friends. One day in middle school, I got hit in the crotch by something and I exclaimed, "Ow! Right in the nuts!" My mom had to explain to me (after she stopped laughing and could breathe again) that I didn't HAVE nuts.
I Used To Believe™ © 2002 - 2019 Mat Connolley, another Iteracy website. privacy policy