rude bitsShow most recent or highest rated first.
page 4 of 66
< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 >
When I was little my mom would refer to my penis as a "spout". Until one day in 4th grade when human anatomy was introduced to us, I stood up and proudly said, "It's not called a penis, it's called a spout!"
When I was three, my mom was babysitting my cousins and I watched her change my youngest cousin's diaper. I had never seen a penis before and asked my mom what was between his legs.
A week later, my mom took me grocery shopping and I saw her put something in the cart that caught my eye.
"What's that," I asked.
"Peanuts," she said.
I was horrified and said, "YOU MEAN THEY SELL THEM IN A JAR?!?"
She had no clue what I meant and said, "of course they do silly. What are you talking about?"
I pointed to my crotch and whispered, "You know, peanuts!"
I use to believe that people of different ethnicities had different genitalia. So African American males differed from Asian Men or Caucasian women differed from Mexican woman, and etc.
When my sister and I were young there was an elderly woman who watched us some times. She told us that if we touched our private areas than snakes would grow out of them and everyone would know that we had touch ourselves. She obviously was warning us about the "dangers" of masturbation, but we were too young to know what she was talking about. So my sister and I became scared to even wash down there just in case snakes grew out.
before i realized that there was such a thing as a transexual, and that i was one, i believed that i was supposed to have been born with a penis. i couldnt figure out why i didnt have one, but i was convinced that if i kept looking, i would find one. i was always looking for penis shaped things on the ground, or at yard sales, hoping to find a used one that could be glued or at least paper-clipped back on.
When I was in kindergarten my sister who was in 3rd grade came home and told me that a kid was running around the class sticking his middle finger out. I didn't know what it meant. Later that day i was in the car with mom and sticking my middle finger out to all the other drivers! Mom was very uspset and told me what it means!
After discovering masturbation very early on, I found a blue, plush pillow that I would rub against my penis. I assumed that the pillow was full of drugs that made me feel good, that I was breaking the law, and that my penis would turn into a vagina if I didn't stop masturbating.
I had overheard a kid in school talking about naming his cat Boner and I had no idea that the word had anything to do with the male anatomy. I had assumed he named his cat after some famous motorcycle rider or wrestler and because I liked this kid I decided imitate him and name my new pet frog Boner. My mom gave me the weirdest look when I told it's name and I didn't find out why until 3 years later. It doesn't help that I had written Boner on the back of all of photos I have of my frogs.
I didn't know the difference between a penis and testicles, but I'd heard of "balls," so I thought penises looked basically like a bunch of meatballs stuck together in a row. When I was eight, this came up in conversation with a male friend - I drew a picture for him and he laughed hysterically and then drew me an accurate picture.
I'm not sure where I picked it up, but I used to believe that the word "ejaculation" was just another term for a coughing/sneezing fit, or shivering.
So one day in grade three I burst out hacking and the young female teachers goes "Liam, are you okay?"
and I said "Don't worry, I'm just ejaculating."
Another time it was extremely cold in my room so I went downstairs and said, "Mom, could you turn the heat on? It's so cold in my room that I started ejaculating."
When I was very little I would occasionally shower with my mum. I figured out quickly that she didn't have a penis, but couldn't quite figure out what was in its place. Her labia didn't close the whole way, however, and I was absolutely convinced that what I was seeing between them was her poop as it made its way to her bottom.
When I was young when I daydreamed about kissing boys my clitoris would pulse.
I always thought that clenching my teeth together would solve the problem.
Up until I was about 13 years old, whenever I heard the phrase "busting a nut", as in ejaculating, I thought that the man literally squeezed his testicle until it burst open.
So I didnt understand how a man could do it more than twice in his life, considering he only has two testicles.
I didnt even comprehend the pain this scenario would cause.
Well, about two years ago, i touched my clitoris, but i didnt know what it was at the time. I started freaking out because i thought it was cancer haha. i finally looked online and figured it out.
When I was in year 5, one of the girls in my class convinced us all that masturbation was when you squeezed your boobs and milk came out.
i was in some public toilets and my sister was in the one next to me with my mum (she was only 2). she then shouted at the top of her voice "Mummy there's a squirell on your bottom"! i couldn't stop laughing.
In the fourth grade, my girl friend and I (I'm also a girl) had an argument over which hole the baby came out of.
At the time neither of had a very good understanding of our own anatomy.
I didn't know I had a vagina because I couldn't see it, I thought you peed out of your clit, I knew it wasn't called a penis, so I just called it my pee thing. So I figured the baby came out your butt hole since one can't fit out a tiny little pee hole.
My friend was aware she had a vagina, and she referred to it as a "pee hole" since neither of us were even aware of the word "vagina". So she said that the baby came out your pee hole (she was talking about a vagina, but I thought she was talking about a clit)
So we argued about it for the longest time until I learned I had a vagina thanks to a book about "girls growing up"
but I still thought you pee'd from your clit.
It wasn't until much later that we realized there is actually a little hole between the clit and the vagina where the pee comes from. Turns out we were both wrong about something.
I'm a girl, and when I was little, I used to think that I would one day grow a penis. I figured this because once I saw my dad naked, and knew that guys have penises, and not too much later I saw my grandmother naked. Both of them were awfully hairy between their legs, and I knew it wasn't right to look at naked people so I didn't get a good look, I just figured she had a penis too. So i just figured that since they both looked a lot alike, and that a full grown man has a penis, that my clit would get bigger and turn into a penis one day. I couldn't wait to be a grown up and have a penis.
In varsity I went out with a guy who thought a hymen was an animal, that as related to a Hyena. I magine that!
When I was growing I thought that when boys were born the doctors cut the cord from the penis. I really could never figure out were girls came from. I was just glad my doctor liked my parents.