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top belief!

The full assortment of functions the penis provides was confusing to me as a child.

When I was 9, we went on a school trip out to the middle of nowhere, and after we'd been on the road for a while, I really needed to pee. The driver told me to just hold on, so I resorted to what I always do when I have to pee and can't get to a toilet: rub my crotch vigorously.

The older kids turned around and stared at me with mischievous grins on their faces. One asked, "Why are you doing that?"

I answered, "It makes it feel better." (At the time, I didn't understand why they were giggling about me.)

Today, I'm not sure I still believe that masturbating lessens my urge to pee. In fact, 2-3 years later, I discovered my Dad's erotica collection, which described in great detail the sticky white fluid that comes out of penises when rubbed. This had never happened to me, but I really wanted to make it happen, so, for the first time, I masturbated to orgasm. Nothing came out. So I thought you had to force it out consciously. Pee came out. For the next year or two, until my body started producing semen, I peed while masturbating, thinking that was what was supposed to happen, and that my semen was simply thinner and yellower than other men's. My parents threw out that mattress.

shameless
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top belief!

when i was in the 3rd grade, the boy across the street had a shed in his backyard and we used to go in there and play house. my two other friends were girls and then he was the only boy. one time when we were in the shed we played truth or dare and my friend shannon dared him to show us his penis. i had never seen a penis before besides my little cousin's. my cousin was not circumcised and i ahd no idea what circumcision was, so whent he boy pulled down his underware in the shed i exclaimed "yours is deformed!" the poor boy probably had issues for at least a year after that incident.

Renee
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top belief!

When I first discovered the little red "bump" by my hole as a child that I later found out was my clitoris, I thought for many years that it was actually a really tiny penis. This bothered me, because I knew I was a girl and I wasn't supposed to have one of those. I thought I was some sort of freak because I had a vagina AND a penis. I knew I was a girl because I had 3 older brothers and they were shaped different and talked different so I knew I wasn't like them. I started to believe that I was definitely a girl, but because my mom had given birth to so many boys before she had me that there was "boy juice" left inside her and that's why I was born with a small penis too.
Finally one day I sucked up my pride and asked my mom about it. She told me that what I had there was perfectly normal and it was just another piece of my vagina. I was so very relieved......

Anon
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when me and my brother were little (5 and 3) we used to be obbsessed with talking about penises so my parents told us that the reason it was taboo was because penises are like nasty and unsanitary (because she didnt want to tell us about sex)

quentin
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I knew how to masturbate by the time I was 10, but never really did it that much. When I was 12, I started doing it more. MUCH more. When I had the sex-ed video, somehow, I thought you could get pregnant if you masturbated.
I WAS TERRIFIED.

Ms. Delusional
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top belief!

Whenever boys would get hit in the crotch by a ball or something, they'd be like "ow my nuts!" so I thought "nuts" just referred to the area between your legs, and I didn't know it hurt a lot more for boys to be hit there than for girls. So whenever a ball would hit me in between the legs I'd be like "ow my nuts!"

Aubrey
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Not realizing I was being called a lesbian, whenever a guy in my class asked me if I go to “She-She bars” I thought he was talking about some sort of Asian bar. She-She, sushi…I dunno, it sounded weird; I didn’t know he was just saying “she” twice. Took a while to click.

EJ
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top belief!

In grade 3 or 4 a boy asked me if I had a penis, and I said yes, because my concept of a penis was simply just where you peed out of (“PEEnis”). Silly me.

EJ
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top belief!

i used believe and erection was when your testicles went into your penis

Anon
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I used to think that vaginas were called chinas and penises were called peanuts. Then my mom finally broke the news to me.DUH!

Anon
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when I was about 8 or 9, every time I went to the toilet I would pat the tissue to get rid of the drips (eww sorry) and my fingers would feel the vaginal opening. However I didnt know what it was, so I was very scared of the fact that my skin had broken and made a dangerous hole in my body. HA!

Samantha
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top belief!

My dad likes rock n' roll music, and when I was a toddler he would listen to it and I would dance. There was this one song called "Big Balls" or something like that by ACDC. I thought it was a song about those huge plasticy balls in those huge bins at Wal-Mart and K-Mart. I belived this until I was ten or so, and my parents still make fun of me.

Anon
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top belief!

when i was a kid my mom told me that there were sharp teeth in the vagina, naturally this scared me beyond belief....come to think about it, it's probably a huge part of why i'm now gay lol

flaminrebel
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top belief!

when i was a kid for some reason i believed that boys had 2 penises, one to go to the bathroom out of and one to make babies with, i was really embaressed that i only had one and would never go to the bathroom in public for fear of someone seeing that i only had one

andy
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top belief!

My mom and I were watching a movie that mentioned sex when I was about 7, so when I asked about it, she breifly explained things to me, not wanting to decieve me or lie. However, I didn't know what anything looked like.

Later, I was at my cousin's house, and my cousin and my brother were rough-housing. My cousin yelled, ouch, you kicked me in the balls!" I knew the place he was hurt was supposed to be where a "penis" was, but I didn't know why it was called "balls." I figured a penis must be shaped like a snowman, made of balls of skin. I thought this basically until sex ed in school.... ]_[

Kjk
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top belief!

After discovering masturbation at very early age on my own, and not knowing anything about sex, somehow I concluded I have discovered a substitute for narcotics and would be awarded for my invention.

Missed the Noble prize
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top belief!

I used to believe (about 9) that a penis was a sausage that men stuck in their crutch area to attract women.

Feebs.
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top belief!

when i was a little girl i asked santa for a penis for christmas. i thought it was a really awesome toy.

haha
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top belief!

After having been given "the talk" by my Mom at around age 8, and given a picture book (*ACK* I don't yet know how I'm going to deal with this with my kids, but I don't think it'll be via picture book!) giving some of the (very few) details of baby-making, it never occurred to me that a boy's privates got firm in order to make the "grand entrance." I had seen only my father and a baby cousin naked, so I always had this idea in my head of grown-ups doing strange contortions in order to slide the very limp member into the girl's private area. So it was with blissful innocence I that I just smiled when, in middle school, some of the boys in my class teased me about another classmate getting "hard" after I had naively run my hand through his hair, just the way I had with my younger cousins... I had no idea what they were talking about, and I was quite shocked (and somewhat relieved) some years later when I discovered that that wasn't exactly the way things were done. :O)

Hannah's Mommy
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When i was little my mother called vagina monkeys. So imagine my surprize when my uncle was tickling me and said he wouldnt let me go until i called him a monkeys uncle!!! I was about 7 years old,

Ashley
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