sex: rude bits

when i was little i so wanted a willy because my big brother could stand up going to the toilet. Soon my mum told my aunty, and when shopping one day she wound me up telling me we were going to the willy shop to get me a willy! i was quite upset when i found out there wasn't such a shop!

After spending too much time laying around with my pet dogs, I entered preschool. One day I walked in on a boy named Scotty going pee, and I came out saying, "Scotty has a tail". I truly believed for many years that penises were just tails, like my dogs had. AND I didn't think they had anything to do with whether a person was a male or a female. That just had to do with whether you had long or short hair.

Until I learned sex ed in school, I was sure that a boy's penis was like a hot dog that constantly stuck out, with a little ball on the end (for what purpose, I don't know.)

I was once told by an older kid in the neighborhood that that all Oriental Women's vaginas were slanted horizontally, because their eyes were slanted as well. I believed this for quite some time and even brought it up in conversations as a pre-teen.

For no apparent reason i used to think i had three balls. It was not until much later that i actually found out what a ball was.

i also had the belief that a testicle was a bone behind the penis as a result of my mother's embarrassed and impatient explanation. i was very confused when my brother's testicles became 'twisted' later that week.

For some reason I was under the impression that old women had toads in their breasts, and that was why they were saggy and couldn't give milk. I have no idea why.

My mother used to call breasts "boobles". That's boo-bulls. She also told us vaginas were called "tinoes". To this day she'll say tino.

before i reached the age of 10 i used to believe erection is caused by being cold. this belief was well-founded on the fact, that i used to have erection while standing naked in front of big mirror in the bathroom after taking bath. i can't say i was somehow dissapointed when the truth turned out :)

My friends and I used to believe that when a man was kept from giving his partner sperm during sex, he got his balls removed.
So I told my friends that my dad had been "neutered" and they asked if he had his balls removed and I'm all like "I dunno, I guess" and then when I got home I asked my mom "Mom, did Dad have his balls taken out?" and she said "No."

I thought that each breast produced a different kind of milk - the right one chocolate milk and the left one, white milk! Of course I believed this because my older brother told me and our neighbor's(a doctor) son confirmed it!
Gosh I wanted to smack my brother when I found out it wasn't true.

After being informed that daddy had ben 'sterilised', I genuinely believed he'd has his genitals immersed in boiling water. To this day, the imagery still appeals to me!

i used to believe that womens viginas were hairy bushes growing on there u had to water it aswell.

I beleived that when you got to a certain age you went to a special shop and got to chose your boob size and they had them in rows like in a bakery and you went in and said id like a c cup or something.

When I was three, I saw an anatomically correct male baby doll, and asked my mother what the squiggly between its legs was. Before she could answer, I said, "Oh, never mind -- I know what it is! It's a kicker!"

She let it go at that.

Having never seen male reproductive organs as a child, and being confused by the variety of terminology (penis, dick, balls), I decided it must be like a line of fleshy balls strung together, like pearls. For years I was horribly embarassed by pearl necklaces, but for quite a unique reason!

The nursery term for the penis in my family was the Greek word for dimple (or seal, as on a letter or document), which is "voulla." This was not an ideal choice. For one thing, there is a Greek girl's name (unrelated, I think) that sounds just like it, and I always wondered what kind of nuts would name their daughter "penis." For another thing, a friend of my grandmother's came up to me one day and said, in Greek, "oh what a cute kid you are, and you have two dimples." I vehemently protested that I had only one, much to her initial bewilderment and subsequent convulsion. (I was told about the incident many years later and have no memory of it, but I would like to think that she then said, "sure you have two. One here and one here.")

Many years later, long after learning the proper (and improper) terms in English and Greek, I was on a trip to Greece and was quite amused when our taxi passed the "Voula Beach Hotel."