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sex: rude bits

1,308 beliefs

the best of rude bits

I thought making out meant trying to see something (because of how people say "I can't quite make that out" or whatever)

— Bootlebat

I am the only girl in my entire extended family and the youngest to boot. My brother saw my grandmother changing my diaper one day and was freaked out by the fact that I lacked a penis--it was the first he'd seen of me being at all different, so he snached me up off the changing table and ran with me to my mother to stop her from cutting off anything else. He was acute one--when he was told my mother was having a baby he asked if she would have me under the kitchen table like our dog Pepper. Fortunately for me the answer was no.

— Jenni

I used to believe that your loins were the muscles in your legs. i only found out the truth yesterday when my boyfriend told me what they really were - i am 24 and i'm still not sure that he's right!!!

— happydaze

I was absolutly convinced as a pubescent teenager that I ahd been born a boy but that Mum had so wanted a girl that she had made someone cut off my male equipment. I felt that someone had done a very poor job and had left me disfigured (in fact I still have a somewhat poor body image!)
It wasn't until I was quite a lot older that I realised that labia are a totally normal part of a female and vary in size from one woman to another and have nothing to do with the clumsey removal of amle genitalia. Oops!

Anon

when I was younger I used to believe that my buddy's grandma's fat saggy juggs were just watermelons that were too ripe. crazy eh !

— Kyle

When I was faced with the prospect of talking about my "bits" when I was little, I'd always call them "Jenny Tails", Jenny being my name. It took me until I was probably about 8 and said something about "Janet Tails" (my sister) that I was informed that I'd misheard my mother when she taught me about my *genitals*.

— Jen

pick of the bunch

My best friend used to beleive that his testicles were his lungs. It was because they moved when he coughed. Idiot.

— Tommio

Prior to gaining education pertaining to sexual body parts and functions, I was told by my mother that I, a girl, had a "front butt" and a "back butt" to wipe when learning toilet training. I believed our female genitals were our "front butt" until someone corrected me over half way through grammar school! I can't believe she copped out on my explaination like that! Laughing myself to tears now at 43 yrs. old!

Anon

When I was a young spadge I used to think that your bell-end was like the ball in a ballpoint pen. Consequently, I also believed that if you pulled your foreskin too far back your bell-end would plop out like an egg from a hen’s arse. What were my parents thinking? Why didn’t they ever tell me? Oh, and nobody told me that banjo-strings (the string of flesh that links the foreskin to the bell-end, known in GU clinics everywhere as the frenulum) were normal either. I spent most of my adolescence thinking I was a freak. It was only when a friend told me his had nearly snapped, before whacking his cock out and showing me the withered thread that I realised I was normal. I’m not exaggerating when I say it was the biggest relief of my life.

— Chinner

i used to believe that milk was womens cum,and it squirted when they got turned on,needless to say when my brother was born i was vert confused and disgusted,i was only 5 with a mean older brother

— kelly linehan

i used to believe that blo jobs meant u had to blow down ur dick 2 make ur balls bigger

— lisa forster watkins pitchford

I used to believe that a penis was infact a poo which had been diverted and was not excreted and was consequently hanging out the front, so i thought fat men had big willys cos they ate so much!

— Mohamid

i used to believe that the clitoris was a teeny penis that all girls had, cos thats the general area the pee used to come out of, and i didn't even know about my vagina till i was a bit older, didn't know it existed!

— rightly corrected

I used to believe that womens genitalia was an inverted males 1

— St3,

When I was very young I didn't realise woman had three different 'bits', I thought it was all done with ONE!!

— P

pick of the bunch

My baby brother had just been weaned so I asked my mum if she was keeping her breasts in case she had another baby.

— Shantavira

I, a male, used to think that that a threat of getting "kicked in the ass" must have meant in the testicles, for surely it must hurt there more than any other place.

— unkicked

I used to believe that my vagina was called a 'giraffe'. Vagina...Giraffe, sounds the same doesn't it?! *blushing snicker*

— lillithmaiden

pick of the bunch

My niece when she was about 4 years old came running in the house and shouted "Gran, Mark's got a great long throozy".
Throozy being her name for a vagina!

Anon

When we were young, we used to call a woman's breasts, 'Hum Hums'

— Steve Haughton

pick of the bunch

i used to believe that you could breath through the the hole in the end of your penis when you were swimming.

Anon

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