rude bits

when i was a little girl i asked santa for a penis for christmas. i thought it was a really awesome toy.

haha

I used to believe (about 9) that a penis was a sausage that men stuck in their crutch area to attract women.

Feebs.

After discovering masturbation at very early age on my own, and not knowing anything about sex, somehow I concluded I have discovered a substitute for narcotics and would be awarded for my invention.

Missed the Noble prize

My mom and I were watching a movie that mentioned sex when I was about 7, so when I asked about it, she breifly explained things to me, not wanting to decieve me or lie. However, I didn't know what anything looked like.

Later, I was at my cousin's house, and my cousin and my brother were rough-housing. My cousin yelled, ouch, you kicked me in the balls!" I knew the place he was hurt was supposed to be where a "penis" was, but I didn't know why it was called "balls." I figured a penis must be shaped like a snowman, made of balls of skin. I thought this basically until sex ed in school.... ]_[

Kjk

when i was a kid for some reason i believed that boys had 2 penises, one to go to the bathroom out of and one to make babies with, i was really embaressed that i only had one and would never go to the bathroom in public for fear of someone seeing that i only had one

andy

when i was a kid my mom told me that there were sharp teeth in the vagina, naturally this scared me beyond belief....come to think about it, it's probably a huge part of why i'm now gay lol

flaminrebel

My dad likes rock n' roll music, and when I was a toddler he would listen to it and I would dance. There was this one song called "Big Balls" or something like that by ACDC. I thought it was a song about those huge plasticy balls in those huge bins at Wal-Mart and K-Mart. I belived this until I was ten or so, and my parents still make fun of me.

Anon

In grade 3 or 4 a boy asked me if I had a penis, and I said yes, because my concept of a penis was simply just where you peed out of (“PEEnis”). Silly me.

EJ

Whenever boys would get hit in the crotch by a ball or something, they'd be like "ow my nuts!" so I thought "nuts" just referred to the area between your legs, and I didn't know it hurt a lot more for boys to be hit there than for girls. So whenever a ball would hit me in between the legs I'd be like "ow my nuts!"

Aubrey

When I first discovered the little red "bump" by my hole as a child that I later found out was my clitoris, I thought for many years that it was actually a really tiny penis. This bothered me, because I knew I was a girl and I wasn't supposed to have one of those. I thought I was some sort of freak because I had a vagina AND a penis. I knew I was a girl because I had 3 older brothers and they were shaped different and talked different so I knew I wasn't like them. I started to believe that I was definitely a girl, but because my mom had given birth to so many boys before she had me that there was "boy juice" left inside her and that's why I was born with a small penis too.
Finally one day I sucked up my pride and asked my mom about it. She told me that what I had there was perfectly normal and it was just another piece of my vagina. I was so very relieved......

Anon

when i was in the 3rd grade, the boy across the street had a shed in his backyard and we used to go in there and play house. my two other friends were girls and then he was the only boy. one time when we were in the shed we played truth or dare and my friend shannon dared him to show us his penis. i had never seen a penis before besides my little cousin's. my cousin was not circumcised and i ahd no idea what circumcision was, so whent he boy pulled down his underware in the shed i exclaimed "yours is deformed!" the poor boy probably had issues for at least a year after that incident.

Renee

The full assortment of functions the penis provides was confusing to me as a child.

When I was 9, we went on a school trip out to the middle of nowhere, and after we'd been on the road for a while, I really needed to pee. The driver told me to just hold on, so I resorted to what I always do when I have to pee and can't get to a toilet: rub my crotch vigorously.

The older kids turned around and stared at me with mischievous grins on their faces. One asked, "Why are you doing that?"

I answered, "It makes it feel better." (At the time, I didn't understand why they were giggling about me.)

Today, I'm not sure I still believe that masturbating lessens my urge to pee. In fact, 2-3 years later, I discovered my Dad's erotica collection, which described in great detail the sticky white fluid that comes out of penises when rubbed. This had never happened to me, but I really wanted to make it happen, so, for the first time, I masturbated to orgasm. Nothing came out. So I thought you had to force it out consciously. Pee came out. For the next year or two, until my body started producing semen, I peed while masturbating, thinking that was what was supposed to happen, and that my semen was simply thinner and yellower than other men's. My parents threw out that mattress.

shameless

Not me but a boyfriend.. we were about 19 at the time so it's still a little amazing, but something he said offhand make me dig deeper and I found that he thought women's nipples were actually solid.. no holes.. and when it was time to breastfeed, the woman had to sterilize a needle and puncture a hole before any milk could come out. Just the once, but still.

Sex Ed 4 Everyone Pls

I'm a girl, and when I was little, I used to think that I would one day grow a penis. I figured this because once I saw my dad naked, and knew that guys have penises, and not too much later I saw my grandmother naked. Both of them were awfully hairy between their legs, and I knew it wasn't right to look at naked people so I didn't get a good look, I just figured she had a penis too. So i just figured that since they both looked a lot alike, and that a full grown man has a penis, that my clit would get bigger and turn into a penis one day. I couldn't wait to be a grown up and have a penis.

Sam

In the fourth grade, my girl friend and I (I'm also a girl) had an argument over which hole the baby came out of.
At the time neither of had a very good understanding of our own anatomy.
I didn't know I had a vagina because I couldn't see it, I thought you peed out of your clit, I knew it wasn't called a penis, so I just called it my pee thing. So I figured the baby came out your butt hole since one can't fit out a tiny little pee hole.
My friend was aware she had a vagina, and she referred to it as a "pee hole" since neither of us were even aware of the word "vagina". So she said that the baby came out your pee hole (she was talking about a vagina, but I thought she was talking about a clit)
So we argued about it for the longest time until I learned I had a vagina thanks to a book about "girls growing up"
but I still thought you pee'd from your clit.
It wasn't until much later that we realized there is actually a little hole between the clit and the vagina where the pee comes from. Turns out we were both wrong about something.

Sam

i was in some public toilets and my sister was in the one next to me with my mum (she was only 2). she then shouted at the top of her voice "Mummy there's a squirell on your bottom"! i couldn't stop laughing.

Anon

When I was in year 5, one of the girls in my class convinced us all that masturbation was when you squeezed your boobs and milk came out.

Beth

Up until I was about 13 years old, whenever I heard the phrase "busting a nut", as in ejaculating, I thought that the man literally squeezed his testicle until it burst open.

So I didnt understand how a man could do it more than twice in his life, considering he only has two testicles.

I didnt even comprehend the pain this scenario would cause.

Rachel

When I was young when I daydreamed about kissing boys my clitoris would pulse.

I always thought that clenching my teeth together would solve the problem.

Anon

I'm not sure where I picked it up, but I used to believe that the word "ejaculation" was just another term for a coughing/sneezing fit, or shivering.

So one day in grade three I burst out hacking and the young female teachers goes "Liam, are you okay?"
and I said "Don't worry, I'm just ejaculating."

Another time it was extremely cold in my room so I went downstairs and said, "Mom, could you turn the heat on? It's so cold in my room that I started ejaculating."


God.

Liam