rude bits

I didn't know the difference between a penis and testicles, but I'd heard of "balls," so I thought penises looked basically like a bunch of meatballs stuck together in a row. When I was eight, this came up in conversation with a male friend - I drew a picture for him and he laughed hysterically and then drew me an accurate picture.

M.

I had overheard a kid in school talking about naming his cat Boner and I had no idea that the word had anything to do with the male anatomy. I had assumed he named his cat after some famous motorcycle rider or wrestler and because I liked this kid I decided imitate him and name my new pet frog Boner. My mom gave me the weirdest look when I told it's name and I didn't find out why until 3 years later. It doesn't help that I had written Boner on the back of all of photos I have of my frogs.

Willow

When my sister and I were young there was an elderly woman who watched us some times. She told us that if we touched our private areas than snakes would grow out of them and everyone would know that we had touch ourselves. She obviously was warning us about the "dangers" of masturbation, but we were too young to know what she was talking about. So my sister and I became scared to even wash down there just in case snakes grew out.

BAF

When I was three, my mom was babysitting my cousins and I watched her change my youngest cousin's diaper. I had never seen a penis before and asked my mom what was between his legs.

A week later, my mom took me grocery shopping and I saw her put something in the cart that caught my eye.

"What's that," I asked.

"Peanuts," she said.

I was horrified and said, "YOU MEAN THEY SELL THEM IN A JAR?!?"

She had no clue what I meant and said, "of course they do silly. What are you talking about?"

I pointed to my crotch and whispered, "You know, peanuts!"

Anon

When I was little my mom would refer to my penis as a "spout". Until one day in 4th grade when human anatomy was introduced to us, I stood up and proudly said, "It's not called a penis, it's called a spout!"

Anon

I used to believe that 'Shagging' meant flopping around, after reading a book about a shaggy dog with floppy hair.
I was about 7 years old and i was watching a tv show called 'top of the pops' with my sister and the babysitter who was looking after us.
The man who was singing on it was wearing tight leather trousers and was dancing in a way that made his willy 'flop around'.
So i exclaimed "hey look his willy's shagging!"
my sister who is much older than me burst into fits of laughter along with the babysitter.
I sat there laughing with them because i thought they found it funny that his willy was 'flopping around' too.
later on that evening they told me what 'shagging' really meant.
:D
oops!

I should really learn when to shut up...

Up until I was about 14, I always thought that the penis was called a "pickle."

Amanda

When i was little my sister told me that no one had bum cracks. She said that one day God was chopping his vegtables and he dropped the knife. A man was bending down to pick something up and the knife cut him a crack. Every one loved it and decided to make there own. I thought this for years and i asked her how we had them as no one had cut our bums and she just laughed. She had me going for years.

Anon

i used to think that a man's private part was called a 'lemon' and a lady's private parts were called a 'melon' and to this day i still don't know why!

georgina

I used to think when babies were born that the parents would decide whether to make it a girl or a boy by chopping the umbilical cord to size. That is, if they wanted a girl they would cut the umbilical cord short (leaving only the clitoris -- which I thought was a tiny penis), and if they wanted a boy they would leave the umbilical cord as long as they wanted to make the penis.

Indigo

When I was little, I thought my mom didn't have a vagina, like me, I thought that she had a patch of hair instead of a vagina.

Jay

When I was 3, I used to think that "dawdling" was touching your private area. So my mom would say "Stop dawdling! We gotta go! " I would get upset and say "I'm not touching my wee wee!"

Amanda

My sister didn't understand penises and vaginas when she was little. When she saw my dad coming out of the shower without any clothes on she yelled "Dad, you're pooping!!!"

Anon

When i was like 6 I heard a male friend say they had been hit in the nuts. I therefore assumed that male or female, if you got hit in the lower privates that they had been hit in the "nuts". My dad was quite to surprised to hear his little girl exclaim that she had been hit in the "nuts"...

Innocence...

When my mom tried to tell me and my sisters about sex she claimed that if you have too much sex your vagina will fall off.

Kelly

I grew up with pets in the house. One afternoon I decided to ask my Aunt Mary if she was spayed.

Anon

I used to believe like girls, boys had to cover up their chest too. I dont usually pay attention to boys at pools and stuff like that so i just think they have a top too. Once when i was watching a movie and it showed a topless man i yelled out "MOMMY THEIR SHOWING A MANS PRIVATES!!!" Then she finally set me straight lol. I was about 6.

A proud women

When I was a kid I heard on the news that Tom Green only had one ball. (I found out much later this was because of cancer.)

At the time I assumed that the number of testicles a boy had varied. I guessed that they most commonly had 1-3. I believed this until about seventh grade.

Anon

I thought making out meant trying to see something (because of how people say "I can't quite make that out" or whatever)

Bootlebat

Based on close observations of sweater topology, I used to believe that there were two varieties of adult female bosoms, one kind with two separate breasts, and another kind with one horizontal breast from one side to the other.

Still Observing Closely