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sex: rude bits

1,308 beliefs

the best of rude bits

I thought making out meant trying to see something (because of how people say "I can't quite make that out" or whatever)

— Bootlebat

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I used to belive that all babies were born the same, and the parents had to go out and buy a penis for the ones they wanted to be boys.

— Josh

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When i was little, i thought that when i grew up i could only have two kids because i only had two testicles.

— nick

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I used to believe my weenie was a tail like animals have. My mom loves to bring this up when I bring a new girlfriend over to my parents house.

— LaughedAtOften

I used to think that boys had two penis'. One for the front, and one for the back! Well, it made sence to me! Looked like girls had two vagina's...one for the front, and one for the back!

— MAU!

once i was looking after a little girl(about 4 or 5 yrs old) and she said 2 me (pointing 2 my breasts) what are those?
what is what? i replied trying not to laugh,
those big squishy things under your t-shirt?
there special things girls get when they grow up, i said.
i dont believe you! she said,and ran to tell her mum i was being naughty by putting cushions up my t-shirt!! i couldnt stop laughing and neither could her mother!

— katie

When I was younger one of my moms friends was breastfeeding her baby. One day I finally get up the nerve to ask her if milk came out of one side and orange juice out of the other.

— Lisa

When I was younger my sister told me that if you pinched your nipples very hard for one minute your breasts would grow bigger. I went through many painful minutes with no results! Haha

— Chelsee

When I was little I used to believe that I was born a male and that one day I was running around naked and a goose came and bit my genitals off, making me a female.

Anon

i thought that when a man peed he actually "squeezed and wrung out" his penis like a washcloth. i forget who set me straight but i believed this until i was in my midteens

Anon

My best friend in upper school believed that penises actually had a bone in because everyone refered to them as boners. She was about 14 before she learned that it was not so!

— ~Tigerlily~

When I was about ten, I was talking to my friend at school, and this guy who hated us walked up and said to me, "You haven't got a dick, you've got a virginia."

My friend and I burst out laughing, and the other guy walked away confused. We wondered what he'd make of the shop called "Virginia Hair Design" if he ever saw it, or if he'd ever seen a map of the USA (this happened in Australia).

Anon

I used to believe…

a friend of mine didnt know that men and woen had different "equipment" and one day she walked into her parents room,and her dad was in his underwear, so she walks over to her dad, grabs his
weiner, and screams, "Look mommy ! daddy pooped his panties !"

Anon

My grandmother (and mother) used to (and still does) tell me and my sisters that if you sleep in your bra, your boobs won't grow. So we were always sure to take off our bra's before bed. Ironically enough, she (my grandmother) dosen't wear underwear to bed, does that mean that her butt grows at night?

Anon

When i was younger, about 5yrs old, i came out of the shower and turned to my dad. i was really worried, apparently i turned to my dad and said: "Dad! help! my winky is straight and strong!"

i'm 13 now and he won't let me live it down.

— t3h ult1mo 1337

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I used to think that boys grew multiple penises as they aged.

Ex.--a little boy would have one, a thirty yo would have three or four...

Anon

I used to think that women had penises, but that they were just hairier than mens'.

— Ameeratron

my brother told me the woman's name "Eunis" was actually the word for a girl's private parts. this made sense since there were guys named 'Dick.' Yes, I know it's ridiculous...I've beaten him repeatedly for this intentional misdirection

Anon

I don’t know how old I was but one day I thought I saw pubic hair. I ran out and told my Mom and Dad I had hair down below. My Mom told me there was not any as she gave me a bath last night. I said maybe some water got in and grew some.

— Mark

My mum told me that if i ate my apples my boobs would grow - so as you can imagine i ate as many as possible - secretly i still wish that when i eat an apple!! :-)

— LCF

All of the girls in my family were told that we had to keep our chests warm so breasts would grow.
I don't know where it came from, but I kept them warm and have larger ones while my sister did not and is flat chested.

— Katharine

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