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when i was little, I used to think that willies were actually really long and thin and that men had to coil them up and fix them in place so they could fit in their pants.
I used to believe that a guy would "get hard" every month like a woman would get her period.
I used to think circumcision was a violent procedure performed on boys if they'd been "bad".
My grandma thought that if she made cute names for everything us kids wouldn't know what she was talking about. To this day I sometimes accidently call a penis a "futzer" and a vagina a "pocket book".
When I was little, I went to a clinic and accidentally misread the information on the poster there. So, after that I came to think that women get "big boobs" (as compared to having no chest at all) only after they give birth to a baby and breastfeed him or her. For some time I went around looking at womens' chests and "knowing" whether they already had children or not.
My friend got caught masturbating by his mum when he was 11. She told him that if he did it again, his penis would fall off in the night. He isn't very bright and, unsurprisingly, he believed her. It took me almost six weeks to convince him otherwise and i'll never let him live it down!
I used to think that a vagina was called a regina. I always used to wonder why they would name the queen after one on a postbox
In the fourth grade I was learning about human growth and development and my teacher told us that girls grow boobs when they hit puberty. For the longest time I thought tthat they grew over night and that one day I would wake up with big boobs and everyone would know I hit puberty.
When my cousin and I were about 10 or 11 we thought that if you rub butter on your chest every day and don't wash it off, it would make your breast grow( we were anxious ). After about a week of horrible body odor and still no breast we were convinced that it was time dump the Parkay and head for the shower.
When I was young I had my first sleep over at a friends house. He liked to sleep naked and I noticed something different about his penis. He is uncircumcised but I am so I thought that something was wrong with that poor boy because instead of having a normal penis, he had a finger for a penis!
After masturbating a bit, I tried to imagine how sex must be. I assumed that men's penises couldn't be much bigger than my index finger because it hurt to try and stick more than one finger up there--how would "it" even fit?
When I got curious and sought out pornography, I was SHOCKED at the size of penises, and TERRIFIED about having sex. I was just certain my future husband would find out I was too small to accomodate him. I thought I was a total freak because my vagina was too small.
I also believed that if I played with myself, it would fall off. I believed it so much, that I just recalled having a dream where I was standing in line for communion at church, and all of a sudden, the whole deal fell off, and rolled out my pants leg.
For some reason until I was a teen I thought not every man had a penis. Some were lucky to have them and some just had hair there and nothing else. Now I'm thinking that the idea could be from censored R-rated movies.
When I was a kid my parents referred to the penis as a "peepee-er" and up until I had sex education at school I thought that was the proper name for it
I used to think that girls had "balls" and not boys, and the "balls" were slang for breasts
ever since my brother was small, my dad graciously dubbed his uh-oh spot, his bobo. he grew up with that word and my sister and i were so used to hearing it, we got used to that name too. well, we lived in panama for a while and in spanish, bobo means silly. my dad, my brother, and i were in the elevator one day and this lady got in after my brother had accidentally pushed the wrong button. when we told her she said to him, "you bobo!" the look on my brother's face was priceless. he couldn't believe that she called him that! my dad and i almost died from holding in our laughter and the lady was laughing too because she thought she made a funny joke!
Imagine the look on my grandmother's face when I, her four-year-old granddaughter, asked "when do we get to chose whether we're mommies or daddies (women or men)? I thought peeing while standing was just SO cool, and I had already figured out that only the men get to stand, so, logically, the only barrier in my way was becoming a man. I wasn't looking forward to the whole shaving thing, and I really liked my long ponytail and my barbies, but I figured those were sacrifices I'd have to make.
My grandma was quite diplomatic but I was soooo crushed when she explained that my hose attachment option had expired at the factory. I think that's why we got those Childcraft encyclopedias so soon afterwards.
I used to believe evrybody's privates were diffrent-- thus the name "privates"
When I was in second grade we were learning about octopus. We all had to write 3 sentences on what we liked about octopus. when it was my turn I proudly said: I like how they ink to protect themselves. I also like that they eat with their eyes. And i love their big wiggly tesitcles. I really meant to say tenticles.
I though Viagra was an allergy medicine. When I mentioned this to my father, he laughed and told me it wasn't. Then, I asked what he was probably hoping I wouldn't... "Well, what is it then?"
After a moment of thinking, he said "Some men's pokey hineys (our name for... male peeing parts) don't work right."
"What's wrong with them?"
Poor dad, he thought the conversation was over! "They're crooked," he said finally, and so I believed him, and not only that, I felt sorry for all the men out there with crooked 'pokey hineys'! Imagine how hard it is to pee like that!