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sex: rude bits

1,308 beliefs

the best of rude bits

I thought making out meant trying to see something (because of how people say "I can't quite make that out" or whatever)

— Bootlebat

This isn't me, but a friend of mine when she was little heard her mom call her female anatomy her vagina, well she thought it was called a "from China" as an inside joke we now call it our "from China's"

Anon

When I was ten, my left boob started getting really sore and I could feel a lump in there. For weeks I was so sure I had cancer. When I finally broke the news to my mother, she started cracking up and told me I was just "budding." Whew!

— Madeleine

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I used to believe that a boy's penis came out of his bellybutton, so you couldn't see it all the time.

Anon

when I was a younger girl my mom told me that if I let the boys touch my boobies theyd grow really big. That was dumb seeinghow I wanted big boobies. I used to allow my friends that were boys touch them all the time. Thanks MOM! I wonder tho they are a G cup....

— Crystal

My mom told me that when I was little, I walked into the bathroom where my dad had just gotten out of the shower and I shouted at him, "Daddy, your tail is on backwards!"
Somehow everybody in my family, and now my boyfriend know this story!

Anon

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For the longest time, I used to think that males had "peanuts." I never understood, of course, why it was also something we ate.

Anon

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I used to believe girls had a penis too, it just that theirs were farther back near their butt which is why girls had to sit down to pee and poo.

Anon

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when i was little my older brother said if i didn't have sex before i was 20 my penis would shrivil up and turn inside out and i'd have a vagina

— k

When I was about four or five years old, for some reason I was ynder the impression that I was supposed to have FOUR testicles. Well, one day, i was using the toilet, and I started to feel around and I was frightened when I realized that I only had two testicles. So I ran out of the bathroom screaming, "My balls are gone daddy!' So my dad reassured me that I was okay, and thats that.

— Balls McLovin

When I was small, I thought that old men didn't have penises. I couldn't picture it so I figured that at a certain age they just fell off.

o_O

— L.

I used to believe my penis, would grow to such an insane length, that space aliens would land on it, and then take over the world.

— Nobby

When I was at boarding school, a girl in my dormitory told me that you only grow when you're asleep, and if you slept on your front, you grew up flat-chested. I spent ages trying to get to sleep on my back, but gave up eventually and resigned myself to pancakedom in later life. Despite sleeping on my front, I'm now a 34F.

— Bloggs

I thought my testicles were pickled onions I had swallowed wrongly.

— jon

When I was a young spadge I used to think that your bell-end was like the ball in a ballpoint pen. Consequently, I also believed that if you pulled your foreskin too far back your bell-end would plop out like an egg from a hen’s arse. What were my parents thinking? Why didn’t they ever tell me? Oh, and nobody told me that banjo-strings (the string of flesh that links the foreskin to the bell-end, known in GU clinics everywhere as the frenulum) were normal either. I spent most of my adolescence thinking I was a freak. It was only when a friend told me his had nearly snapped, before whacking his cock out and showing me the withered thread that I realised I was normal. I’m not exaggerating when I say it was the biggest relief of my life.

— Chinner

when i was about 4 or 5, i believed that if i pulled on my nipples, i'd grow up and have big boobs.

— JW

I used to think that only women had pubic hair...i don't know why! i found out in fifth grade that men do too. maybe it was because i only saw my mom naked growing up, our dad always hid from us then. the only nude males i saw were my friends that were boys when we played the "i'll show you mine" game.

— silly lil' girl

I thought that to breastfeed, a woman had to poke a hole in her nipple (like the hole in a bottle nipple).

— Imani B.

When I was younger, I had no idea what the difference between boys and girls was (and I mean the REAL difference). When I was about 5 or 6 years old, I went to my cousin's house, and one of my cousins, A.J., who is a boy, was a baby at the time, and my aunt went to change his diaper. I stared at it thinking "What the heck is that thing?"

Then later, I went to my other cousin's house, he was about 3 or 4, and he went to go to the bathroom and for some reason he had this insecurity and always wanted someone in the room with him. Since I was the only one in the room, I went in and -- stupidly -- watched. First of all I didn't know why he'd put the seat up and I told him he'd probably fall in, and he didn't get a word I was saying and just went along and peed right there. When I saw that I never looked at a guy the same again.

— Sky

My sister use to belive the reason mom had two breasts - one to give milk, the other for juice.

Anon

Until I was in college, I truly believed I had three testicles.

For most of my life I was self-conscious about my body because I was so obviously different. From an early age, I knew people should only have two, yet I very clearly appeared to have three. I was so self-conscious, in fact, that I never spoke to anyone about it or asked anyone if it was a problem.

While in college, I began to have acute pain in my abdomen. I found I could lie on my back and the pain would eventually subside. I also noticed that my "third testicle" seemed to disappear during this exercise. I did a little research and came up with a theory that needed proof. The problem became progressively worse, interfering with my daily routine and studies. I sought medical attention, and the (now obvious) diagnosis was made:

I had been born with a hernia that had never been caught.

— Mike

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