sex: rude bits

I use to think that a boys penis was long and flat like one of those hoses that get round when you run water through it. I thought that they would roll it up to put it in their pants, kinda like you would roll up a measuring tape.

When I was little(about 4 or 5ish) I saw this cool pink balloon lookin' type thing with a white "squirter" on the end on the bathtub while I was bathing. I thought it was one of my mom's cool adult bath toys. I just kept fillin that balloon up with water and squirting it on my head and I had the grandest time with that. I realized several years later that the balloon I had so much fun with was a douche bag. Mom got a good laugh...

One time the class was talking about squids, and on being asked what a squid's "legs" were called, my friend said "Testicles! No wait, squids have too many. You'd be deformed if you had more than one!"

when i was very young and i had no idea what a penis looked like exactly i thought that it was very long and resembled the snuf-o-la-po-gaus (okay i KNOW that's not spelled right but sound it out and you'll know who/what I'm talking about--think sesame street characters) nose. I thought that they just rolled their penis right on up and kept it in their underwear.

In the third grade, when I looked at a book about the human body and saw female pubic hair, I thought that the hair was what would eventually be part of the woman's baby's head when she got pregnant.

When i was in Kindergarten, i accidentally walked into the boys bathroom while a boy was peeing. I screamed out, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" and i took his hand and led him into a stall, saying you're not supposed to pee on the wall.

I then asked my mom why he did this, and she lauged, and said he had different "Privates" than me.

I didn't know what she meant by different when my friend bryan pulled down his pants to show me o_O

i used to think that if i ate a lot of cheese puffs that my breast would grow larger.. i think i got this from a punky brewster episode i saw as a kid.. so i asked my mom to go buy cheese puffs right away but i never told her why i wanted them.

In 8th grade health class, we were learning about the whole "female cycle" and this guy Tyler was like "OH MY GOSH!!!" Everyone stared at him and asked if he was okay. He just stared at the girls in our class and said "You have more than one hole? That's so wierd!!!"

When I was a kid, I believed that babies were born a sexually, and the parents chose the sex of the child by choosing to cut the umbilical cord in either short for a girl or long for a boy! oh dear!

When I was younger, I though a vasectomy meant the doctor cut off a man's penis! I was horrified when my dad said he was going to get a vasectomy. I said, "Won't you miss it?"

I had gotten it into my head that if I cut my willy off with scissors, I would suddenly have powers like Superman. I seem to remember contemplating it seriously at one point, but chickening out (to my subsequent huge relief). I wonder what child psychologists would make of that one...

When I was little (about 5) my sister (16 at the time) was talking to her friends about "cocks". Curious because that was a new word to me I asked her what it was. She said it was a different work for poop. So you can imagine the look on my moms face the next day when my mom asked me how my day at school was and I replied: "It was okay, except for when I went to the bathroom and somebody left a huge smelly cock in the toilet!"

when i was younger i saw my dad in the shower, and my penis was quite insignificate campared to his. so for the next few months i tried stretching it by wrapping it around my thumb and holding on anything i could find and walking backwards.

When I was about 10 I somehow thought that the old fashioned foil-wrapped cubes of soapy stuff used by my Dad for shaving were actually called pubes and the reason why the boys at school were embarassed to talk about them was that they were scared of shaving. I explained it all to my mates too, so that they knew what pubes were - I think they thought it was true……...

I was at school when I was about 6 or 7, and the bell had just rung for lunch. A boy called Levi ran up to me and asked me if I would like to see his 'marbles' Thinking that he meant little round marbles that you play with, I followed him under one of the desks near the back where he promptly pulled his pants down and showed me his penis. I was mortified.

i used to think that when a guy got a vasectomy, it meant that he got his testicles cut off, so when my dad said he was goign to get one. i said "oh my god, why would you want to cut your balls off" ive been getting crap from them ever since