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When I was about five, I was on a car ride with my parents. I'd recently learned what a penis was. We drove by a field of cows. I said to my mother, "Wow! That cow has a lot of penises!"
After viewing someone hypnotizing someone else on T.V, ( I was 3), I thought I could hypnotitize people by jumping up and down naked, so my penis would swing to and fro. I tried this on my mum and told her to get me a sandwich. She did it(She must of been playing along).Then I told her to get me a nintendo 64. She didn't. I thought I just needed to recharge. I sat on my bed with my penis under the cover. I then tried it on my dad and he looked at me, puzzled. Then I realized I possesed no such power.
I don't know how I figured this out...but when I was little I was taking a shower and moved my hips back and forth *I was actually humping the air* and I had no idea what humping was then, so I thought I had created this awesome dance move...one day I decided to show my mom, so I found her and said "Hey mommy, look at the cool new dance move!"...She yelled "WHERE DID YOU SEE THAT?!" I said I made it up and she said absolutely nothing in reply...I never did it again after that and some years later, I learned what I was actually doing...
My mom told me that when my dog became "aroused" and the red part of his genitals came out it meant he wanted to go for a walk. I used to point it out to everyone that visited my house exclaiming "it was time to keep my dog from getting bored" I never understood why people would laugh at me
Apparently the only pictures of male anatomy my grandmother had seen before she was married were pics of the man's privates blocked out by a fig leaf, like a adam/eve kind of thing. She told me that when she married my grandfather, she thought he was malformed. It wasn't until she gave birth to a son that she figured out that ALL men look like that.
When I was 16, I thought the reason boys had foreskin was to keep them from having sex, and that they didn't get circumsized until after they got married. Kind of like having a "wrapped" present...
As a boy, I used to have to take baths with my sisters. I used to believe that they were holding their penises between their legs, afraid to show them.
When I was 7 I came home from school one day and my mother asked me what I had learned. I told her I learned that boys had a penis and girls had a 'recliner'
I used to think that "having a boner" meant you needed to fart. One day I was feeling a bit gassy snd proclaimed, "Man, I have a huge boner!" in front of my brothers.
For some reason my Mum used to call my penis my "Jiminy Cricket" I thought it was its correct name. You can imagine how amused I was when I was taken to see Pinnochio at the cinema - I giggled all through the film.
One of the grade 9 health requirements was sex ed. It was an all girls class, and very small. Maybe, 8-10 of us. We somehow drifted off topic and people started having some kind of open discussion about penises. All of a sudden, out of no where when it was quite, one of the more popular (and stupidier) girls exclaims "What would happen if it broke? How would you put a cast on a penis?" The whole class, including the teacher, started laughing while the girl just sat there looking confused. Several minutes later when we were done laughing the girl asked "What? Haven't you ever wondered that?" Someone finally said that there weren't bones in penises so they couldn't break. The girl, who was still confused, was about to ask why they are called boners, but the teacher, who was still laughing, cut her off and said that just because that's what they are called doesn't mean that there are bones in them.
I used to watch my brother and other little boys go to the bathroom when we were little, and I was convinced that the reason boys held their penises while they were doing it was because they needed to squeeze the pee out-- like it was a water squeeze bottle or something. I was very glad to be a girl so I didn't have to do that. (So much for penis envy, I guess.)
When I was young, my mother didn't want to have to explain the facts of life to me, so she gave me a book to read instead. Unfortunately, I wasn't a very good reader, and when I got to the part about pubic hair, I thought it said public hair. I dreaded the time when my public hair would grow in and I'd have to show it to everybody.
I used to believe that a woman had a boob for each baby. My mum had two children and therefore 2 boobs. It wasn't until I met a woman who had 14 children that i realised this couldn't be so...
When I was young, I asked my mom what the difference between boys and girls was. She looked at my older brother and, finally, after a long awkward silence said, "Boys have blue eyes and girls have brown." I guess my mom didn't realize that I'm a girl, and I have blue eyes. Imagine how scared I was when I went in the bathroom to look at my blue eyes and realized they are blue!
Someone once told me that having sex caused a woman's breasts to grow. Everytime I looked at Dolly Parton I thought "wow!"
when i was around 5 i think, i was sleeping at my grandmothers house and i was watching tv on the couch and it was on teletoon. one of those adult cartoons came on after one of my shows and suddenly my penis went solid. i asked my grandma why it was so long and hard and she said it was because it was sleeping. i believed that until i found my dad's playboys and it happened again. my suspicions were verified during last year's health classes! lol
When I was little, my parents decided that I was too young to know the actual words, so instead told me that "the private parts" names were tinkerbell (girl) and tinkerbob (boy). Then, when people would talk about Peter Pan at school (having never seen the movie) I thought that Peter Pan was a movie about peeing. I worried about what "Captain Hook" was until I found out what Peter Pan was really about.
No kidding: My sophomore year in high school, I was having lunch with my friends and someone mentioned a herpes commercial. We were all laughing and talking about how much it must hurt to pee if you have herpes (open sores...blah blah blah) when my friend Mark said, "Yeah and have sex and poop too." We all turned to eachother with confused looks on our faces as he explained to us that girls peed out of their butt and there is really only ONE hole down there! He was sixteen!
When I was a kid and I asked my mom how you can tell boy and girl babies apart, she told me that "boy's insides were on their outsides". I took it literally to mean that boys had all their guts hanging out of them.