sex: rude bits

I used to believe that every penis had a name. I always called mine Edward. For some reason I thought that if you were a boy, your mother would choose a name for you and your penis (dunno whaer I got that from) So when i was little and I heard the name Edward, I thought people were talking about my penis!

When I was about eleven years old, I used to read a whole lot of the manga Sailor Moon before it came out in America. I couldn't help but notice that the characters had extremely long and beautiful shiny hair. I liked it especially when they twirled around in their sparkly glory, the rainbow colors swirled around them, and their hair flowed in the wind. Of course, my hair was nowhere near that long, and I felt like a bum next to the characters. One day, me and one of my best friends were playing Sailor Moon. I was always the character who had the shortest hair (Ami/ Sailor Murcury) This made me mad after a while, so my friend made a "magic potion" that would make my hair grow as long as Sailor Moon's floor-length hair. The stuff consisted of raw eggs, grass, out-door onions, milk, saurtcraut, and whipped cream. It smelled awful, but I was determined to get my wish. Little did I know I was about to go through a little thing called puberty. Of course the "magic" didn't work, and terribly dissappointed, and me my friend didn't talk about it in a couple months. A few months later, I noticed that I was sprouting hair on my privates. I thought I was the only person in the world that this happened to, I got scared stiff. I thought that this was the doing of the "potion" my friend made for me. Later, I went to a restaruent with my family and friends, and when they asked me what was wrong, I busted out in tears and screamed, "Katy made hair come out of my vagina!!!!!!" In front of everyone. I spilled out my entire story to practically the whole restaurant in hysterics. Afterward, my mother (and everybody) just started to laugh as if they were going to choke, and I don't think I had been more embarrased in my life. Nonthless, Im still a HUGE anime fan!!!--- I was so stupid when I found out the truth.

My friend was pulling on her breasts (the ones she didnt have yet) saying that it would make them be big when she got older. I didnt ever want breasts so I would push really hard on mine. I dont know how hers turned out, but it seemed to work for mine!

While shopping at a department store recently, my wife and I passed through the lingerie section. Noticing their display of training bras, my wife commented on how silly they are. I proceeded to explain to her how training bras are necessary to train the breasts to do their thing. Without the necessary training, they might grow up to be misshapened. My wife, splitting a gut, explained to 30-something me that breasts do their thing quite naturally. A training bra trains the girl (to wear a bra); it does not train the breasts!

When I was about 3 or 4 I used my mom's diaphragm as a water cup after brushing my teeth, I thought I was so grown up swishing water and gargling. I didn't realize where it had been. . . Imagine my horror when she told me.

A friend I had told me once that when she was a kid, she used to think Men had leaves as private parts. She had only seen naked statues...and they all had leaves there.

When I was about 8 or 9 I overheard boys at school bragging to one another about their huge penises. "Mine is so big it hangs past my knees!" etc. I was concerned, so I asked my older brother (15) where he put his penis when he went #2. He looked at me confused, so I asked, "Well, does it dangle down in the water and go down the hole, or do you flip it over your shoulder?" I was very mad when he started laughing hysterically. I really thought boys had 3ft long penises.

my grandmother taught me what a vagina and a penis was when i was about 3 and i always thought a penis was a peanut and one day i asked if i could have a penis butter and jelly sandwich

My mom was babysitting my cousin who was the same age as me (2) and we were both being potty trained, well when it came his turn to "go" my eyes got so big and i screamed "TIMOTHY HAS A TAIL!" he looked down so seriously at himself then looked back at me like what are you talking about? My mom then try to explain it to me in the best way possible!!

When I was lil I believed that you developed *ahem* breasts as soon as you put a bra on, and it didn't matter if you were a male or a female. I was sOo convinced of this because every night when my mom or aunt would take their bras off before they went to bed -it would appear that their boobs had shrunk!! I still believed this even after I got my first training bra - I would REFUSE to take it off before I went to bed, because I wanted my boobs to be big and I didn't want them to ever shrink. It took me YEARS to realize that my mom and aunt were wearing push-up or padded bras!!

When I was young I knew that a common euphemism for penis was the word "weiner". Being a logical person I assumed that if a penis was a weiner, then a weiner must also be a penis. One time when I was about 5 my father took me grocery shopping and we walked down the aisle where the cocktail weiners were. I looked up on the shelf, pointed, and exclaimed "Look Dad, its a jar of little penises". I had no idea why he was walking away from me to quickly after I said that.

In the 60's when you went through a cafeteria line to get milk, the milk machine had chocolate on the right and white on the left. So, as I was growing up I believed nursing mothers had chocolate on the right and white on the left.

I used to think that "foreskin" was the skin on your forehead. When I was 10, while bathing my 5-year-old sister, I told her to make sure she washed her foreskin really well. I will never live that one down.

Me and my two sisters used to tell my younger brother that everyone was born with a penis and that when you were 10 if it dropped off you would be a girl and if it stayed on you would be a boy. It was the funniest thing ever watching him on his 10th birthday waiting to see what would happen!

My mother has always been very vacant about sex, however one day - I think I was about 10 - we were cooking sausages in the kitchen and she unwraps a package of very small hotdogs (like cocktail weenie size) and goes "now honey, that's what guy's ..eh hem hem's look like." I didn't say it but I was petrified since they were so hideously small. I was dissappointed for quite a few years until I discovered otherwise and I remember thinking "oh thank god, I'm glad I got one that's bigger then a footy frank."

Now that I relive this story it makes me sickly puzzled about the relationship between my parents...

I used to think a sex changed required two people, a guy and a girl, so you could only have one if you and the guy really liked each other, enough to trade parts.

After that, it was o.k. to have sex with each other, because it was your own part.

I was in grade two when I thought this, and I just thought sex was a priviledge, like being able to ride in the front seat of a car.

When I was a kid, my brother told me that if he concentrated very hard while rubbing his temples, his balls would grow a protective shield of steel for a few seconds. For a while I actually believed this. One day I tested his "magic steel abilities" with a swift kick of my foot, and found out he was lying, haha.

When I was 6 or 7 i tought that when my breasts started growing they would never stop, i think it's cos all my family and my neighbours were quite heavy and as a result most adults had large chests, i was so scared that one day i told my mum about it and i said something like "When my boobs grow can we move house so I have space to move around without knocking the fish tank over?" So unbelievably random!!!

When I was seven I used to think that a penis was detachable. So once me and my older brother were fighting and I threatened to take his penis off and steal it. He told me that I couldn't do that. Well one night he was asleep in his boxers and I snuck into his room and tried to remove his penis. Needless to say that night I learned that penises are not detachable. My brothers screaming and anger told me that. I also learned how much it hurts to be thrown off the bed backwards and hit my head on the wall.