the best of rude bits
I thought making out meant trying to see something (because of how people say "I can't quite make that out" or whatever)
sex: rude bits
1,308 beliefs
Once my aunt told me that if I was a bad boy, they would send me to the Oscar Meyer plant. She said that is where the cut off boy penises to make hot dogs. I believed her. I never liked that aunt very much.
When I was like 6 I saw the hooters sign. There was an owl on it with big eyebrows. And I thought that was what hooters were; eyebrows. So later that night I walked up to my dad and said "LOOK I CAN MOVE MY HOOTERS" when I was really just moving my eyebrows..... my sister won't let me live that one down and that was like 7 years ago....
I have a sister 3 years older than me. As a small child my parents stopped me from 'playing with myself' by telling me that "If you do that too much it will drop off. Look what happened to your sister!", for years I thought that all girls were ex boys that couldn't stop themselves.
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When i was little I used to think my penis was made out of silly putty and used to press it onto the sunday paper....while my dad was reading it.
I discovered masturbation quite by accident when I was 6. My mom always told me to rinse my privates well when I bathed so I wouldn't get an infection from leaving soap behind. I rinsed so well with a hand shower one day, I had an orgasm! I had no idea what happened, but I believed if I kept doing it every day that my girl parts would grow into a penis. How lovely it would be to be able to pee standing up! I masturbated every day after that until I was in junior high school.
A few weeks before my 5th birthday my mom asked me what i wanted to have.She said i could have anything i wanted. And i knew what i wanted.I wanted the penis of my 3 years older brother.So i asked for it(my brother was in the same room).My mother said that it was impossible.I asked her why,and told her we could cut it off with a pair of scissors and then glue it on my body.I thought that it was possible... and everybody could change their sex if they just found somebody to switch with.My brother was turning all white,so I told him that he needn´t worry, he could have my vagina.My mom said that that was not the right present for me and she would think of something else.I was angry for weeks and didnt talk to her.
When my brother was little my dad took him to the zoo.... When they went to donkey enclosure my brother proceeded to say (very loudly) Dad! There's an elephant inside that donkey! What he believed to be seeing I guess whas an elepants trunk coming from the donkeys belly (this was a boy donkey)
Once I finally understood that the penis had to be hard before entering a woman's vagina, I just figured that a grown man ALWAYS had an erect penis. That's what happened when a boy went through puberty--he got his "permanent" erection.
Ouch.
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Thanks to my sister, our family word for female private parts was tuffet.......due to her misunderstanding a particular nursery rhyme......!
Until the 4th grade I believed that a vagina was called a "virginia". No wonder my geography teacher was so confused when I asked why we had a state named after a body part.
When I was about 5 or 6, my three older brothers were telling me that Yellow-5 makes your penis shrink. Well, everyone, including my mom drank a lot of Mountain Dew. Everyone except me. Anyway, Mountain Dew has Yellow-5 in it, so one time, in the car, my brothers were telling me that, and I turn to my mom and say, "So is that why you're a girl?"
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My mother ask me "What is difference from boys and girls?" and I said "Girls have teeth!" I thought that was the right answer before I learned otherwise
Having never seen a naked man except for statues, I believed their private parts were shaped like a leaf. Needless to say, I was quite surprised to find out I was mistaken.
well i had a friend who saw a statue that had a fig leaf where its provate should be and then one day in teh fall i said to her "isnt it neat how teh leaves fall off of trees?" and she replied" yeah, but i feel bad for guys! their privates fall off cause theyre leaves too!" we never let her live it down!
When I was little, I used to believe that when you turned into a grown-up you had to have boobs and makeup. (I am a girl). When I started puberty...I had no clue about pubic hair. Unfortunately my older brother Chase said that you only grow hair there when a boy likes you and wants to kiss you or when you are about to die. When I was 12 I started sprouting pubic hair and I just found out at school. I ran into the nurses room and I yelled: I DONT WANT TO DIE. The nurse looked confused and then I told her everything. She said, no silly you only grow hair there when you are ready for the talk. Then she told me everything. I was so stunned and when I walked home I told my brother what happened. He had his boxers on. I said YOU HAVE A PENIS??!?!?!? He sarcastically said no, because my friends were there. I rolled my eyes and said he did, then we had an argument. Then he finally said PROVE IT. so I did, I pulled down his boxers and my friends and I saw EVERYTHING he was 14.
I used to think that parents chose the gender of their child when 'it' was born. They were all born with penises, and if they wanted it to be a girl, they could simply push the penis in and it would leave the hole... and when it grew, the breasts puffed out because of more space being taken up inside.
For a long time, I thought boys didnt get penises until they were 10 years old. I thought before that, the body had kind of sucked the penises inside, to incubate them until they were ready to fall out. (This was because I had overheard my mother talking about a boy's testicles "dropping" - because he'd hit puberty, but he was 10 at the time, so it was early.)
As for me, I thought I would turn into a boy, so I was waiting for mine to "drop" too, thinking that my vagina was just the wrinkle, where my penis was sucked in.
I was brought up calling my privates parts- "my privates".
So, image how I reacted at 4 years old when mom and dad told my sister and I that they were sending us to "Private School"! EEEWWW!
When I was young, my family and I were watching a game show when the announcer said that the next contestant was a woman from Regina (Saskatchewan, Canada). I was totally shocked, and told my family "How Rude! They don't need to tell everyone that she's from a Regina! Everyone is from a Regina!"
To this day, I still laugh when I meet people from that particular city.
When i was in kindergarten my mom used to call my private area my "pudding". Well at school one day my teacher told us we were going to make chocolate pudding as an activity. I convinced my mom too let me skip school that day.