sex

I used to think that you had to have sex in hospital. I knew it was how you got babies and you did it in bed and hospitals had lots of beds. Logical, I think :-)

Andy

Around the age of six my best friend and I were pondering what sex was. I came up with the explanation that we both decided was the truth-----that sex was a guy sticking a Q-tip up his butt and then sticking the same one up the girl's butt. Naturally when the girl had the baby, it came out her butt too. (I didn't know we had vaginas. I just used to think that everything down there was your butt.)

Angel

When I was 5 me and my best friend believed that when we were asleep a man from Mexico named Jessie would come and put us into boxes and give us sex changes.

Jeanne

A friend of mine, staying overnight, told me how he felt he was making progress with the sex thing. He said that his orgasm would last for half a second or so, but that he felt it was starting to take longer.

It turned out that he believed that he had to cum during the entire act of love!

He 14 then and went on to study biology.

Solitary Dolphin

the man looks at the woman. sperm are invisible and they fly through the air like a ghost through his clothes, through the air, though her clothes where they get to her and make a baby. this can take place even if they're standing across the street from eachother, sperm are very fast and clever. i don't know why i thought this. it seemed the only logical way for the sperm to get to the woman, how else would they get there??

dolly

i thought that everytime you masturbated santa could read the dirty thoughts in your mind = P and the only way to stop him finding out was to put a blanket over your head (even when it was hot!)I believed in santa till i was 11. That was an aweful lot of hot summer nights.

Penny Lane

My little sister argued with me when she was about 14/15 that "floor play" was what people did before moving to the bed.

The Older Sister

My husband of 25 years believed that if a man and woman saw each other naked they HAD to have sex. I think he still believes it.

Glinda

Until being correctly informed, I never knew that girls could 'cum', so when hearing the line "creaming over tough guys" in a song, i assumed that the girls just got out cans of whipped cream and squited them over the men! How embarrassed I was when i suggested we do this at a party!

got milk?!

When I was around 10 my mother walked in on me mastrubating and let out a loud gasp. She ran out of the room and I, not sure what had upset her, went after her because I was worried. She proceeded to give me a long lecuture about the fact that "mastrubation" was perfectly natural, saying that she was glad I was mastrubating because it meant I was normal...I kept wondering why she was talking to me about this.
it wasn't until 20 minuites into the discussion that I figured out the "mastrubation" was the word for what I had been doing.
Before then I thought mastrubation was called "riding" and that it was called that because you were boucing up and down like you were riding a horse. Natuarally, I thought that's why people liked horses so much, and why women were always dreaming about riding off on a white horse with their knight in shining armor.

rebecca

My friend was more precocious than I was in his interest in sex (though not much better informed), and he told me that when men and women had sex, they used a rubber. He wasn't sure exactly what it was, but I assumed it was some kind of appliance without which sex could not be done, since I couldn't imagine how any body parts that we boys had could have any physical correspondence with what girls had. Obviously, then, the rubber was the thing that would accomplish the hookup required to make a baby.

So one day I was downstairs in my grandma's old farmhouse, and I saw a box of what I now know to be milking machine parts, the long black rubber things you slip over the cow's teats for milking. They looked uncomfortably stiff, but since they had an opening about the proportion of a penis, I figured that was the rubber my friend had told me about! I was always really curious about the things, but carefully avoided looking at them when grandma was around, and certainly didn't ask any questions about them. (I also wondered why grandpa and grandma needed a set of four of them.)

Wycliff

when i was about 6, i announced to my entire extended family at christmas that my 'girlfriend' wanted to hump me. i was delighted that she would want to do that, although at the time i certainly didnt believe that humping was something that would cause such shock amongst my family.

Anon

When I was younger, my older brother always used to ask me If I had 'Shot my seed' yet, and I didn't know what he was talking about. When one day I found out about masturbation I spent 3 hours in my bathroom trying to 'Shoot my seed' when I didn't shoot a seed (I was expecting a little black seed), but in fact shot out something else, I went crying to my brother because I thought mine was broken. He still takes the piss now.

MarkyPants

when I was 12 or 13 I masturbate for the first time by recomendation of my friends, according to them it was going to be like a water hose cumming because it was going to be the very first time, so I had to masturbate facing the back of the toilet and with music so my parents wont listen the very powerfull action to happen.
Of course, it wasnt true, beside the pain I was feeling, my huge worry was my sperm going in the flush, I tought my sperm will transform in to babyes in the drainage and will find the way back to find their daddy, I was horrofied!!!!
I got my drain pregnant!!!
it was until 15 years old I finally understood that will never happen.

richer

I used to believe that erections were something that happened entirely randomly, and so if you wanted to have sex you had to just wait around for one to happen.

John

I shudder to think that I used to believe that oral contraceptives were taken so that ladies wouldn't get pregnant if a man came in her mouth.

numpty

I used to think that spam was semen so I was very confused when people talked about buying it in tins.

EB

I was in a restaurant on my birthday with my husband and two samall boy, it was my birthday, a few days before christmas. There was loud music playing and the place was full. My 6 yr old son wanted the toilet, so my husband took him. When he came out we were eating and he was trying to tell me something, i couldnt hear because the music was very loud, all i could hear was something about dad buying chewing gum. When the music stopped i asked him to repeat it.... he shouted..." I didnt think dad liked chewing gum...but hes just bought some from the machine in the toilets!"...the whole place heard him, needless to say i was on the floor laughing...as were everyone else!.. kids!

TT

In high school I started noticing the change in my female friend’s derrieres. I thought that the change from having a skinny butt when they were in junior high to having shapely ones in high school was from having sex and that the penis inserted in the vagina pushed the butt cheeks subtly but permanently out and that the more times she had sex, the fuller and rounder her butt would become.

henryfordhigh

When I was about 5 I had a "children's version" of the bible, courtesy of my uncle, a Jehovah's Witness. According to the bible, it was VERY evil to lie down with someone you weren't married to. I remember going to a friend's house and lying next to him on his bedroom floor, and afterwards I was terrified that god would be angry and I'd get punished somehow.

PK