sex

As a child, I somehow got nuns and prostitutes confused. At the same time I heard that a well known preacher had been seen entering a hotel with a prositute. My mom was very upset by this news. Being that I thought prostitutes were nuns, I suggested that maybe they had just gone into the hotel to pray together. I suggested this to my mom, and her reply was "I don't think so." I was so upset with everyone for jumping to conclusions.

Anon

When I was in 1st grade, everyone thought that a french kiss was when someone kissed your hand.
So when a boy at school told me to close my eyes and kissed my hand, I thought that he had "french-kissed" me.
When my mom came to get me from daycare that day, I told her "Mommy a boy french-kissed me today"
You can imagine her reaction.

Miranda

Around 4 years Old I asked my mom THE question (What is sex?). To avoid having to explain the whole birds and the bees concept to such a young mind she simply put it off as "It's something that mommies and daddies do". This answer suited me just fine and I went along my way, though somewhere along the line I started thinking that "sex" was just another name for "kissing" since I seen MY mommy and daddy do that all the time.

Imagine my mom & dad's shock when I came home in kidnergarten and announced, "OoOoh!! I had sex today on the bus with Rusty and I think everyone saw me!!"

Krissie

when i was young, about third grade, my (older) friend taught me about sex and said that it only worked when you were married. i thought that when my parents went to sleep, their private parts did... that. i decided not to tell them since it might scare them... they seemed too innocent to know about a dirty thing like that.

not your friend

When I was a kid my dad explained to me what prostitution was. He said it was when, "someone sells their body for sex", and I couldn't understand why anybody would chop off their limbs just so they could have sex.

Sean

When I was about 6 or 7, my brother said "Barney is so gay!" so I asked my mother what it ment and she said happy. So, I went around and exclaimed to all my family members (ALL of them, it was some sort of reunion or get together) that I was gay. And I persisted, even when they told me to stop saying it. The really funny thing is, I had to do it again last year, when I was 17.

Mark

when i was younger i believed that when two guys had sex they would sword fight with their penises

Anon

When I was in kindergarten, I thought that sex meant a good time. When my parents asked me how my very first day of school went, I said that I had sex. :D

Anon

When I was in 2nd grade, I saw 2 dogs that were both facing different directions trying to walk away but their butts seemed to be stuck together. I asked my parents why and they told me very honestly that the dogs were having sex and had gotten stuck together. But they didn't tell me that it doesn't happen to people.
So a little later on in life, my mom told me that I should wait to have sex until I get married. Because of the dogs, I thought it was because whoever I had sex with I might get stuck to forever, so we might as well be married. Haha. Guess that gives a whole new meaning to "til death do us part".

Jeanine

When I was little I used to believe that the word 'beans' was just short for 'lesbians', and thus, lesbians were beans.

Being constantly eager to show off my large vocabulary, I told a woman at a coffee shop that my mother and I had eaten lesbians for dinner... I didn't understand why she quickly walked away...

Anon

When I was little, I though that a prostitute was a female lawyer... It just sounded so official. So I used to tell people that when I grew up I wanted to be a prostitute. My dad wasn't so proud...

Meg

i used to believe that porn was a religon.

Karen

My mom, my friend and I were sitting around the kitchen table.
My mom said to me "What would you like for your birthday?"
I looked at my friend who was wearing a lepord skin hat and said "A lesbian hat!"

Hey, I was 6, give me a break

Sarah

When i was about 9 years old, my friend joey would constantly make jokes about masterbating (maybe he just discovered it who knows)he would make the hand gesture of "beating off" but i thought for a very long time after that boys got pleasure from punchin themselves hard and repeatedly in the penis...

hahah boy, i was WAAAY off.

Ashley Rose

when I was young, about 7 years old, I took out the trash. As a little boy, i was interested in anything electronic. There was a flashlight on the top of the trash. I took it to my mom and I asked her why she tossed out the flashlight when I could fix it. She told me they didn't make batteries for this kind of flashlight any more. I asked her if I could keep it and play with it, since it was shaped kind of like a rocket ship. She told me "no" and proceeded to toss it away herself. It wasn't until years later I found out it was a vibrator.

Repairman in the dark

When I was about six or seven, I heard the word "raped" on TV. So I asked my mother and she said "When someone is forced to do something." Later that evening watching TV, a man shouted at his son "Turn that music off now!" and I laughed and said "That kid just got raped." Oh how wrong I was...

Brady

i used to believe that when people said butt sex i thought u just rubbed yur butts together and told my mom i had butt sex with my sister and she freaked out

j

when i was in fourth or fifth grade i discovered masturbation by accident when i was in the shower and i was bored. but yeah i thought i invented masturbation. i remember thinking i was going to be rich. yeah i was a stupid little boy.

whacky

My friend told me this a couple of years ago.

When she was in gradeschool, she first heard about gay people. She was puzzled by this, and wondered how exactly two men could have sex. In her mind, she decided that the two men would just slap their penis's together, making it look like some sort of bizarr thumb wrestle.

Prespector

I used to think that "orgasm" was the same thing as "organism"... so in an 8th grade Science report, I wrote about orgasms that lived in water!

Anon