the law

You know those white signs that have the letters DUI crossed out and it says like "it kills, dont do it" or whatever? I always wondered why because it should be DDI and not DUI to my 6 year old logic. I always questioned what "it" was and why we cant dont do it.

When I heard the word "Interpol" for the first time, I figured out it was some very important organization chasing criminals, but I was sure the "pol" stood for "Poland", not "police". Since I'm Polish, I was beaming "See? The bad guys in America fear OUR police!"

i was little when they used to show those anti drug commercials that showed an egg and said it was your brain, and then they showed the egg frying, and said that this was your brain on drugs, any questions? i took it literally. i refused to eat eggs. i started experimenting with drugs when i was like 16. right before i turned 18, i ate scrambled eggs for the first time. the morning after me and one of my friends were up all night pill popping.

When I was about 9, my dad came home from a PTA meeting where they had shown a scare film about drugs. In a somewhat agitated state, he wanted to make sure I knew that if anyone offered me drugs, I should say no. He never went into any detail as to what these drugs might look like, so I had to imagine the bigger kids cornering me on the playground and forcing me to drink cough syrup. For the most part, I said no to drugs, but when I was 21, I had a roommate who had had some addiction issues. He told me the same story!

I once explained to my grandma what to do if a police officer pulled you over. "Get out of the car and run real fast!" I think I watched a little too much "Cops"! lol

I used to think people did drugs and dumped toxic waste just to be evil, because no one ever explained why they *really* did it. (I also thought I was going to ride an ostrich in heaven. Actually, I still think that.)

i used to believe... that if I smushed bread into a ball it would turn into dope (like marijuana)... and I was too scared to eat it.

My mom called it dough when it was smushed and I was confused.

Me and my cousins used to watch Law and Order a lot, and often times people would get convicted for assault and battery. Well, I knew what assault was, and I knew what it meant to be battered, but it never really clicked that "battery" meant the act of battering someone. So I just thought they were talking about batteries, like AA, AAA, and so on.

I'm really glad I never asked anyone about that.

I used to believe that if I slept with my face towards the wall, I would be better able to disguise my terror when the Bad Guy broke into my room. Since he would assume I was still sleeping, he would kill my sister instead of me.

i used to believe that a prostitute was a prisoner.

When my friends slept over my house years ago I always made them sleep on the side of the bed closest to the door. This way, when the bad people broke into my house at night and entered my room, they would be closer and, therefore, be murdered instead of me. I never told them this though, of course. They just thought I was picky on which side of my bed I slept on.

When i was younger i used to think that signs on gardens and business' etc saying tresspassers will be prosecuted meant that i would be shot and killed. Completely confusing it with executed. Needless to say i never went "tresspassing" with my friends.

In 7th grade my friend came to me in the morning and she looked a bit sad so I asked what happened. It turned out the morning bus conversation was about 'getting stoned' and when they asked my friend if she knew what it meant she replied yes, it's when stones are thrown at someone until they die. They laughed at her and told her she was wrong. I told my friend that those kids were idiots because that's what 'getting stoned' meant. I didn't find out for another year that it meant smoking pot.

I used to believe that joints were just regular cigarettes. I was 6 and my friend who was about 12 handed me a joint and I took a few tokes. And then I felt guilty and ran home to my mom telling her I smoked a cigarette, need less to say she found out it was weed and my friends dad went to prison for selling his daughter weed.

As a kid, I just couldn't get around the idea of good and evil. I often would think to myself, "Why would anybody choose to become a bad guy?" Then I realized that God gave everyone the choice before they were born, and naturally there would be a few who chose to be bad.

One time I was browsing a head shop with a friend of mine. She made a crack about smoking bowls. From then on I believed that people could smoke marijuana out of a cereal bowl.

I explained that to my fiance, and he still teases me about it. Consequently, our slang for weed is Cap'n Crunch.