the law

When I was a little kid,about 3 or 4,if I started to get rowdy in public,my mom would always say "Do you want that man to get you?" and pointed to the nearest able bodied male.
Thus,I believed that all men where child abductors until I got lost in the mall when I was 5 and a guy tried to help my find my mother,but I punched him,kicked him,and ran off into the clothing department to hide in the clothes rack.Of course,I ran off everytime a male shopkeeper asked me where my mom was.

After a female clerk finally found me and took me to my mom,my mom yelled at me for running all over the mall.I shouted,"BUT EVERYONE WAS TRYING TO GET ME,MOMMY!There are a bunch of kidnappers in this store!I can tell,if they're a boy and they're not related to me or a police officer with a badge,they're a kidnapper!"

She never used that threat again.

I use to think when i was little that seiral killers stabbed cherrios.

I used to believe a burglar was some kind of non-human creature, so I once filled up a bucket with water, sawdust, and some other ingredients, which the burglar would inevitably eat and die from if he broke into the house. (I must have imagined that burglars were kind of like rats, which would be drawn to an appropriate poison.)

When I first heard the term "Yardie", I thought the name derived from the fact that they ran their criminal business from their front yard.

This would have been perfectly understandable if I was 8 or 9, but I was about 18.

Once, when i was little, i thought that going to jail was something that lmost every man did. I used to picture my dad in a 1 man cell

When I was probably around the age of 5 or 6, I had a nightmare about getting abducted. For the next almost 2 years, I was so scared everywhere I went with my family that I was being followed and that I would get kidnapped. I wouldn't even go outside for fear of someone watching me. All of this because of a silly nightmare.

I used to belive that FBI stood for Fish Buying In because when I went to camp they took a picture of a FBI car and put a fish beside it. In big blod letters by it they wrote Fish Buying In so I thought the fish were trying to become stock brokers or something. Then we were talking about it at school and my teacher ask me what it meant. I stood corrected.

my friend used to think a SWAT team was pest control.

When I was little during the "war on drugs" there was a Flintstones special on TV about drugs and peer pressure.
A boy on the program showed a character three marijuana joints.

I thought they were lemon wedges, and I didn't understand why they were so bad.

I thought it was against the law to carry around a lot of money unless you were putting it in the bank.

I learned what an execution was when I was six, and the one I learned about was the beheading one. About three years later, I heard something about an execution on the news. I turned to my dad and said, "They still cut people's heads off? I thought that only happened in the olden days!" He then explained that most people just get a shot to make them die.

One time when I was little I thought that I heard people in the house. I also thought that if I barked real loud like a big bad dog, they would go away!!! Go figure:)

I used to think that signs that said "shoplifters will be prosecuted" meant that shoplifters would be executed! And no, I grew up in the USA, not Saudi Arabia where this belief would have made sense! And, no, this belief oddly did not stop me from taking little candies from the brac's pick a mix at the grocery store:)

My parents took me and my siblings, plus two friends, to a local Air Force Base. They have this really great playground--every child's dream. My mom, a retired Army gal, noticed that Colby, 9 years old, was wearing an "Old Navy" shirt. On a whim, she announced to Colby that he would be arrested for wearing a Navy shirt on an Air Force Base. "You see that we're not wearing Army shirts!" she exclaimed. Colby got scared and turned his shirt inside out. Everytime an Air Force officer would walk or drive by, he'd hide under the playground!

It was in Jr. High when i first heard of "weed" and "grass". Kids would talk about smoking it and it being illegal. I would wonder how can it be illegal, it's everywhere, it grows on everyone's lawn. And I thought why would you want to smoke grass, dogs pee and poop on it. It wasn't until highschool that i found out that "grass" wasn't literally grass. ( i never smoked it)

When I was little I pulled a tag off of a pillow, and when I read it had that "DO NOT REMOVE UNDER PENALTY OF LAW" warning on it. I hid in my room and cried because I thought I had done something terribly illegal and I was going to jail for it!!