the law

I used to hear the phrase "drinking and driving" when i was young and being too young to know about drunkess i thought it meant any drink-- I'd see a lady drinking a bottle of water in her car and go "MUMMY THAT LADY'S DRINKING AND DRIVING!!" she'd always laugh at me and made me feel like crap & I didn't know why.

When I was younger, I would hide all of my cerial. My mom never really understood it untill I told her about the (serial) cerial killer who moved in down the street.

When I was little I found a little bit of broken (clear) plastic that was shaped very roughly like a little diamond. While I was smart enough to realize that it had no real value, I still put it in a clear display box, placed prominently on my dresser in my room. I did this in the confident belief that if a robber broke into our home, he would take it believing it to be valuable, and possibly leave after grabbing it, thereby saving my mom's genuinely precious jewels.

The question of why a robber would believe it was a diamond when an 8-year old kid knew it was plastic was never an issue for me. Clearly, I was a genius, and robbers must be much dumber.

Growing up I was told and I believed for a short time that Cereal Killer was some one who ate cereal. Never knowing that it was really spelt Serial and not cereal I didnt know the difference.

When I was younger, every night I would make my mum check under my bed , behind my door, behind the curtains,in the wardrobe and anywhere I could think of! This was because I was terrified that a murderer/kidnapper/burgalar was hidden trying to get me once my mum had gone! I used to sit in my bed for at least 30 minutes, because i thought that once I had done that the murderer/kidnapper/burgalar would have given up and gone to get some other child!

We live in a state that gets threated by hurricanes every year, so on major highways and such we had Evacuation Route signs. When I was little I used to believe that escaped criminals put up those signs to tell their prison friends where to go. Whenever I heard about a prisoner breaking out of jail I wondered why the police didn't just follow those signs.

When I was little I always heard the don't drink and drive slogan. And in class we got to draw on paper bags that said that and they were handed out at the liquor store. Well anyways, one Saturday, my family was going shopping, and I saw my dad drinking a cup of coffee while he was driving, I started yelling at him for doing so and he just shrugged and said I guess I'm breaking the law.

When I was in 7th grade, during art class, me and my friends were painting and talking. I was telling them about this guy that went to jail for something stupid. I proclaimed he was a prostitute (rather loudly) and that he deserved it. I thought a prostitute was someone waiting to be prosecuted. Everyone in the class started giggling, even the teacher. I looked pretty perplexed obvioulsy, because my friend asked me if I knew what a prostitute was. I told her my definition, but when she was done telling me the real definition, I was pretty embarassed.

They still tease me about it to this day.

When i was younger i must have been told that people who went to jail didn't go to heaven. I interpreted this as people who go to jail wouldn't die.
I was terrified of going to jail, i had visions of myself in jail thousands of years from now when humans were extinct and the land had been taken over by crocodiles that were coming to eat me...

When I was younger i thought 'rape' was 'rake', while i still thought that this would be quite painful to be raked i really didnt think it would be as tramatizing as the women on tv made it...

I thought that highway signs reading "NO LITTERING. UP TO $100 FINE" meant that the cash value of what you threw away mattered somehow. It was "fine" to litter soda cans and old newspapers, but it was illegal to toss TVs or cars, because those cost more than $100. To me, this explained why all the highway litter was cheap junk.

As a kid at the Post Office I saw a wanted poster of Patty Hearst. I told my Dad we can look for her and if we capture her we can get the reward. He told me she was dangerous and if I saw her to tell a policeman and do nothing else. On the drive home I planned on how I would personally capture Patty Hearst if I saw her and turn her over to the police. When my Dad made a hard left turn my door flew open (I guess I did not shut it very well). It scared me to pieces and I believed it was a warning from Patty Hearst to leave her alone and don't even think of capturing her.

At age 6 or 7, I'd occasionally go around the house and gather various things -- shampoo, washing up liquid, cooking oil, food colouring, that kind of thing -- and then bottle some up in a bizarre-coloured mixture, with a label to the effect of "Burglars: drink this!".

We never had any trouble with burglars, so it must have worked.

When my husband was about seven, his mom brought him to camp and the teenage girl camp counselors told him that when he grew up, he was going to be a real "ladykiller". He was devastated. His mother couldnt understand why calls were being made to the house, that he really wanted to come home, and she later learned that he had been terrified by the notion that he was going to be a murderer when he grew up......

i used to think that a serial killer killed cereal then i thought about it and i diddnt eat cereal for a long time and when my mom asked me why i told her because if i eat the cereal it will die and i will be an americas most wanted!!

when i was younger , i would watch the news and when i heard them talkin about a sereal killer i would not eat any cereal until they didnt talk about the sereal killer anyomore because i thought a cereal killer was someone who put poision in cereal and made people die frim eating it...