the law

When I was young and I played up in the car, my mum told me to behave or she'd leave me in the car and DoCS (Department Of Community Services) would take me away. It was only natural for me to assume that "the docs" were mean men who stole naughty children from cars. How naive was I?

I was pretending to be a policeman one day when I was 4 or 5, so I went into the bathroom and started eating toothpaste. That's what policemen do, isn't it?

As a kid, my tiny podunk private school took us to the local jail for a field trip. For kicks, the policemen took our fingerprints, took mugshots of us, and locked us with our teacher up in a cell.
Afterwards I believed we'd all been unfairly given permanent criminal records on that one fateful day.

I used to believe that if you tore the tags that say "Do Not Remove" off a mattress or pillow, the cops would come and arrest me.

When I waz little I wuz VERY scared of police and whenever i walked past one i didnt look at them at all (thinking they would arrest me for looking at them the wrong way).

I used to believe that if I wasn't good a man would come in the night and take me from my family.
I was petrified of the "man" until I was about 14 years old.

when i was young (5 or 6) i would line up a row of stuffed toys either side of me in bed because i was convinced that a burgler would come in the night and shoot me. For some reason i thought that the bullet wouldn't get to me, because it had to travel through all of my teddies first.

When I was little my older brother told me it was illegal to wear gold and silver jewelry at the same time. I'm 14 and I still won't do it even though I know it's not true!

I used to think that breathalyzer tests were administered by people blowing good long puffs into the cops' faces and that the cops determined their drunkenness by the potency of the smell.

I used to think that a mug shot was a picture of the criminal that was put onto police mugs which were then handed to cops all over the country so that they could recognise the bad guy.

As a child it was my belief that people went to school to learn how to be criminals. In my mind I pictured a classroom full of men all dressed in black catsuits sitting at desks taking copious notes.

When I was about 10 my mum asked me if I would ever sniff glue. I had no idea what she was talking about and so i asked her. She said that if i sniffed glue I would die. When I was about 11, I had a big fight with my parents and I was so wound up, I decided to "Kill myself". I got out my clag glue, wrote a will, took one sniff and convinced i was going to die. I started crying and woke up in bed an hour later, much to my relief!

When I was little I was convinced that if I went to sleep with my feet sticking out from my cover, then if a murderer came into the house and saw them he would kill me. For some reason, I decided that murderers were bound to break in one day. I still can't sleep without my feet tucked under!

I was once coming home from the grocery store with my mom, and she asked me to hand her an apple juice. I was so scared. I thought my mom would get in trouble for "drinking and driving" so I flat out refused to give it to her for fear she would be arrested.

I used to believe that Halloween was a guy who came to your house and killed your mum!!!

I used to think that things my parents told me not to do(i.e. jumping on the bed) were against the law and if the police found out I would go to jail.