the law

I always thought that shoplifting is about lifting the shop from the ground.

My best friend till college years used to think that hashish is... some venereal disease!! We still lough that unsafe sex can cause hashish!

There was always this smelly kid at infant school who one day in the playground came up to me and said that his dad told him he knew how to fly. i asked how and the kid produced a small folded piece of paper containing soft white powder. I and a few mates who all beleived we were superman decided to have a dab and began hurling our selves off a playground wall. naturaly non of us grew wings and flew. Shocking to think what it could of been, i can say to all those worried parents that what i dabbed in infant school tasted nothing like the real thing. Danm must have been TALC!

When I was little I used to believe that the shop owners were letting the lights on to scare the thieves. And I was asking my self: how can they be so stupid (the thieves). If me, a small child I know the lights are turned on why they still risk to go in and steal?

From watching a lot of stupid kids shows that had this, I always thought that if you went to a store and tried to purchase something, but ended up not having enough money, that the clerk would call the cops who would come and arrest you. I believed that for years.

my sis used to tell me that if i will not have my nails cut,the police will take me with them.man how shweet we were :)

One day, while my mother was driving I heard on the radio that there had been a shooting and that a certain man was helping the police with their investigations. I said to my mum "aww, that's nice". She nearly drove off the road through laughing so much. You see, I'm from Barbados, and the above phrase is used euphemistically to describe an arrest, whereas I thought some nice man from the village was taking the police around, introducing them to everyone etc

I grew up in Texas and when I heard someone was "sentenced to death" I thought that they'd been forced to write the same sentence over and over again until they died, since one of my teachers at school made us write sentences on the blackboard when we were bad.

Once when I was about seven, I took a peppermint from the Brach's pick and mix display at the supermarket. I hid it in my closet because I was terrified that the police would come and arrest me for it. I found the peppermint a couple of years ago when I was cleaning out my closet at my parents' house...it was still there!

i could never understand why all countries were trying to attract tourists: who would want to have all that bombing and kidnapping? i imagined all this evil in the disguise of sunburned people in shorts wearing too large sunglasses.

when I was younger I was watching the news and it said a girl was raped. I thought they said she was "raked" so I believed that a guy would take a rake and scratch the girl's body with it.

I used to believe that when the news reported that a woman got "raped"... it meant someone caught her and hit her with a garden rake, or raked her up her back leaving nasty scratches.... and thats why it was such a horrable thing when a woman is "raked"

I used to believe once you were drunk you were drunk forever. So when i was told the Beatles song 'I am the Walrus' was written while they were drunk, i kept asking when they'd written it and which songs they'd written after it as they must have all been written while they were drunk too...

My father always told me that if i did anything remotely impolite, that the police would come and throw me into politeness jail. (this was prompted by me gargling at the dinner table)

When I first started coming home from school to an empty house, I would open the door and yell 'if anyone is in here, my eyes are closed, run out quick and I won't see you' because naturally, if a burglar thought I'd seen him, he'd kill me.

When I heard about serial killers when I was a kid, I thought they were saying "cereal" and I belived that my frosted flakes were in danger of being killed!